


He's Just a Little Bit Older

by Legends_Never_Die



Series: Teenage Spencer Reid [1]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety Attacks, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Episode: s01e06 L.D.S.K., Episode: s01e09 Derailed, Episode: s02e15 Revelations, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Spencer Reid, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kidnapping, M/M, Nervousness, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Older Man/Younger Man, Past Child Abuse, Physics magic, Protective Aaron Hotchner, Protective Derek Morgan, Protectiveness, Sexual Harassment, Shy Spencer Reid, Teenage Spencer, Teenage Spencer Reid, Younger Spencer Reid, work place relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:41:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 39
Words: 46,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27704984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Legends_Never_Die/pseuds/Legends_Never_Die
Summary: Spencer joins the BAU when he is 17 and instantly falls for his much older unit chief who refuses to have any sort of nonprofessional relationship with Spencer. Well...at least until he's 18.----Lot's of angst and fluff featuring the team protecting baby SpencerTitle from 18 by Five Seconds of Summer
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Spencer Reid & The BAU Team
Series: Teenage Spencer Reid [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2109945
Comments: 546
Kudos: 598





	1. Chapter 1

He could do this. He was fine. There was no reason to be scared. No reason to be feeling like he was about to pass out from lack of oxygen. No reason to feel like the elevator he was currently standing in was closing in on him.

He was fine. He was Spencer Reid after all. He was a child genius who already had two doctorates at the age of 17. He was more than capable of walking into an office and meeting his new boss. And meeting his new team. Spencer shuddered at the thought. He hated meeting new people. It always freaked him out. But he needed to prove that he was capable of being a profiler. It wasn’t just anyone who was asked to join the BAU after all.

Spencer was so stuck in his thoughts that he didn’t notice the door open and close and two new people step into the elevator.

“Are you lost kid?” A tall man with close shaved hair and dark eyes asked.

“Oh umm… me? N-no I’m f-fine.” He stuttered out, cursing himself for letting his stutter appear. It only came out when he was nervous. And he was really nervous.

“Are you sure? New interns usually check in on the first floor?” A kind but stern looking brunette said.

Spencer knew she didn’t say it to be rude or undermine his intelligence (it was a valid assumption given his age and clear stress) but it always upset him when people assumed, he was just some dumb kid. He had worked too hard to get where he was for that.

“I’m not an i-intern.” He replied, fiddling with the strap of his satchel nervously.

“Right.” The woman said. She exchanged a confused look with the man next to her.

The elevator continued to go up. As it began to reach the top, the two adult’s expressions got more and more confused.

“Are you sure you don’t need help finding anything? There’s only one more floor and that only had the BAU on it.” The man asked.

“That’s where I’m going.” Spencer mumbled. He pulled out a file from his bag and opened it. “I’m supposed to b-be meeting an A-Aaron Hotchner.” He glanced down at the name like he was double checking he got it right even though he had had it memorized since the second read it.

“Why are you-” the man started but was cut off by the woman.

“I can show you to his office.” She said.

“Thank you.” Spencer mumbled, still looking up at the floor.

The elevator door’s slid open with a ding and Spencer was met with the busy sounds of an office just beginning to wake up. He followed the woman past smaller offices that looked like they belonged to lower-level agents and they made their way to a big open room with several large desks, each with their own personality and one larger office will a view to look over the whole operation.

“This is the bullpen. Hotch’s office is right up there.” She said, setting her bag down on what Spencer assumed was her own desk. “I’m Emily by the way. Emily Prentiss.” She stuck out her hand to shake but he declined, offering a small wave instead. Like he said before; he hated meeting new people.

“Thanks for your help.” He offered a small smiled. He turned and walked up the steps to the large office behind him, tucking a stray hair behind his ear as he went. He was well aware that the eyes of the five other people in the bullpen, as Emily has called it, were all fixed on him. He tried to ignore it and knocked twice on the wooden door.

“Come in.” Called a deep voice from within. Spencer took a deep breath and turned the handle and took a tentative step in.

Inside was probably the most attractive man that Spencer had ever laid eyes on. The teen had never really had much interest in girls or even guys but the man before him woke up something in his chest that he had never felt before. He could practically see his face going red and was grateful the man hadn’t looked up from his paperwork yet.

Spencer just stood in the doorway, not trusting his voice. Eventually the man looked up and Reid felt his mouth go dry. Once time while he had been in class in high school, he had heard some girls talking about a celebrity they all found attractive. Spencer felt the same way they did. What was the had used? Sex God? The man in front of him was a Sex God.

“How can I help you?” the Sex God said, standing up from his desk and taking a step toward the boy who was about a foot shorter than him.

“I…um… I-I am S-Spencer Reid. I’m the n-new profiler.” He stuttered out, pushing his glasses up on his face simply so he would have something to do with his hands.

The taller man slowly scanned him up and down and Spencer had never felt more exposed in his life.

“You are Dr. Reid?” He asked, voice calm as though he were choosing his words very carefully.

Spencer shook his head up and down. The man still said nothing, so he added a “Yes S-sir.”

“I’m afraid there must have been some mistake.” He says slowly.

Spencer’s heart absolutely shatters to the floor. He knew it had been too good to be true. “But Agent Gideon c-called me last w-week and said that he thought I w-would make a good fit.” Spencer said.

“Just one moment Spencer.” He said and took a step towards the door.

“Doctor.” Reid said under his breath, not intending for the man to hear him but apparently, he did because he turned around once more.

“Right. I apologize. Dr. Reid.” There was almost a ghost of a half-smile on his face. “I’m S.S.A. Aaron Hotchner. Nice to meet you.” He said before disappearing out the door to find Gideon.

Aaron Hotchner.

Spencer liked that name. 


	2. Chapter 2

Spencer taped his feet nervously as we watched Hotch descend the stairs and make his way to a man in a dark brown sweater. He assumed this was Agent Gideon who he had spoken to before. Gideon wasn’t dressed like an FBI agent. Now that he thought about it no one but Agent Hotchner and Agent Prentiss looked like they were bureau officials.

Spencer saw a quick discussion between Hotchner and Gideon before both turned to look at him through the window. Spencer immediately snapped his head back around. He didn’t want them to know that he had been watching. Of course, they had already seen him but that didn’t matter. He just needed to distract himself from the stress of potential rejection. As well as the fact that he could hardly get a sentence out when talking to the unit chief. Talk about HOTchner.

Spencer was yet again sucking into his own thoughts that he didn’t notice Hotchner had returned with Gideon by his side.

“Dr. Reid. It’s good to meet you in person young man.” The oldest agent stuck out his hand to shake. Spencer just couldn’t bring himself to touch the man’s hand and offered his usual wave and half smile. If the greeting bothered either agent, they didn’t show it.

“I’m sorry I had to step out. We don’t typically recruit people so…young.” Hotchner said.

“N-no problem Sir.” Spencer replied.

“Please. Call me Hotch.”

Spencer nodded. “You can call me Reid then.”

“No doctor?” Gideon asked, raising an eyebrow. He had seen Spencer’s grades and file and knew how smart he was and how hard he worked.

“I only say that when I first meet people.” He explained, rocking back and forth from foot to foot. “A lot of people just think I s-some kid.”

“You should be proud of what you have accomplished. However, on this team we do tend to call each other by our last names to keep things simple and efficient. We will always introduce you as doctor though. You should be recognized and respected for what you achieved.” Hotch said. Spencer blushed deeply. He decided he liked people praised by the man. Probably more than he should.

“W-wait.” He said, realizing something else Hotch had said. “I’m on the team?”

Gideon and Hotch exchanged a glace that Spencer couldn’t quite read. “Come here” Gideon beckoned him towards the window. He placed a hand on Spencer’s shoulder. He flinched a bit at the sudden touch by relaxed under the comforting hand. He decided he liked Gideon. Not the way he liked Hotch though. “Tell me what you see.” He motioned to the bullpen.

“I see the BAU sir.” He said. He knew that wasn’t the answer he was looking for but didn’t want to elaborate and be accused of showing off. That happened all too often.

“What else. What can you tell me about her?” He said, pointing to an averaged sized blond woman with short heals and absurdly colored close. Spencer studied her closely.

“Female. Early to mid-thirties. Works for the FBI in the BAU I would assume based on her confidence level in this environment. Not a profiler though. She couldn’t wear those clothes on cases, so she does something here in Quantico. He bracelets on her arms left slight indents on her forearm like they have been pushed up many times throughout her day to complete a task. My guess would be typing so I assumed she is your technical analysist.” Spencer said. His posture straightened and his stutter disappeared as he observed and reported. He was completely in his element.

Gideon turned to give Hotch an ‘I told you so’ look but Spencer wasn’t done. “She is not the typical FBI agent, not just by her clothes but also by the words she had been using. If I am reading her lip shape correctly, she has called that man she is talking to at the desk ‘baby’ about 7 times so far. I would say they were dating but their posture suggests flirtatious friends.”

Spencer turned to face the two men who both shared an impressed look. “Was I r-right?” He asked, the poise he had showed moments ago fading and being replaced by the insecure teenager they had seen before.

“Precisely.” Hotch nodded. “I think you will make a great addition to the team.”

\---

Just minutes after Spencer had been introduced to the team and given a desk to use, a kind woman who Spencer learned was named JJ came and informed the team that they had a case.

Spencer listened intently to everything said in the briefing, determined to be as much help as he possible could. Hotch had announced that they would be leaving in 30 minutes. Spencer had not been expecting to have a case on his first day let alone to be allowed to go on it so consequently, he did not have a go bag. Oh well, he could just do laundry at the hotel they stayed at.

Once on the plane, Spencer excitedly took a window seat near the rear. He had only been on a plane once before when he was very young and was excited.

The tall man from the elevator who Hotch told him was called Morgan too the seat next to him. “You ever been on a place before?” He asked.

“Just once! M-my mom was afraid to fly but my dad took me to New York when I w-was pretty little.” He said, swinging his legs back and forth with anticipation.

“Was?” Morgan asked.

“Yeah. She passed away.” He said saddened by the memory.

“Wait!” Hotch said from his spot across the aisle where he couldn’t help but overhear the conversation. “You can’t come with us. You are a minor. I need to talk to you parents or have them sign a waiver or something?” Hotch said. It wasn’t often that their leader didn’t know how to handle a situation, but he had been so surprised by Spencer’s profile of Garcia he had completely forgot about the boy’s age. He was too young to be leaving the state without telling a parent. And he was two young for Hotch to find him attractive. Cute was fine though. Lots of things were cute. Puppies were cute. Babies were cute. And Spencer Reid with his wide eyes and nervous smile…he was definitely cute.

“Oh no it’s completely fine.” Spencer reassured him. “I live in a foster home and they don’t really care where I go so, I’m all good.” He smiled brightly. The plane began to move on the runway.

Spencer’s idea of ‘all good’ was very different from Hotch’s but he decided he would handle that later. He could give the family a call once they landed. Afterall the kid was 17, almost 18 if he remembered his file correctly. He was practically an adult. But he was still underage.

“Ever been to Florida?” Morgan asked. He wanted to learn more about this kid. He was clearly very bright but there was something sad behind his eyes that Morgan was determined to get to the bottom of.

“No I…” Spencer started then froze when the place accelerated and slowly made its way into to blue sky. His eyes remained glued out the window, but his hands began tapping against his knee.

“You alright.” Morgan asked, leaning a bit closer so the rest of the team wouldn’t hear.

“F-fine. Just m-might have a little tiny bit of a-aerophobia” he mumbled

Of course he was afraid of flying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmk what you think!! Thanks for reading!!❤️❤️


	3. Chapter 3

The flight was…unpleasant to say the least. Spencer felt like he was going to throw up from the slight turbulence that occurred and couldn’t bare to look out the window. He did his best to keep his composure though. He didn’t want the team to think of him as just some kid.

Derick, or Morgan as everyone called him, had taken it upon himself to distract the kid in any way possible in order to help get him through the flight. This included as short-lived conversation about sports, movies, and eventually books. At the last topic his face lit up.

“I love reading!” Spencer smiled, momentarily forgetting about the fact that he was hundreds of feet above the ground.

“What’s your favorite book?” Morgan asked, grateful that he had found a topic that interested the young boy.

“That’s a really hard question. I really liked Les Fleurs Du Mal, and Effi Briest, and Harry Potter.”

Morgan looked at him for a second before he burst out laughing. Spencer’s face slowly morphed from an excited smile to one of embarrassment. Derrick hated that look on the kids face so quickly explained himself. “No no I’m not laughing at you! I just find it funny that you like all these smart fancy books but you also like Harry Potter.”

“I’m still a teenager.” Spencer mumbled. He didn’t like being laughed at.

“I know. I’m sorry kid. I was just surprised. I like them too! Although I’ve only ever seen the movies.”

Spencer’s mouth fell open in shock. He could not believe someone would do something so terrible as watching a movie before reading the book. This sent Reid into a rant about the importance of reading and how movie adaptations rarely do books justice.

Hotch continued staring at his book but let a small smiled come to his face. He had only known this kid a couple of hours but already felt responsible for him. He had been worried that Spencer was just going to be some walking encyclopedia and was glad to hear him excitedly talking about something like a normal kid would. Although, he doubted an average kid would use the word penultimate to describe a Harry Potter book.

Hotch felt the seat next to him stir and he looked over to see Gideon now sitting next to him.

“I told you he was smart.” Gideon spoke, looking down at his own book as well.

“I am still worried about his age.” Hotch said. Neither men looked at each other. They often had these discreet discussions together.

“Because you think he’ll get hurt of because of…other things.” The older agent asked.

“What?” Hotch sputtered. “What do you mean by that! He’s underage. He’s a kid.”

“I was stalking about his living situation. But good to know that your mind is in a different place.” Gideon said teasingly, not realizing how Hotch truly was feeling.

“Yes. I am concerned about that too. Foster care is not a secure system as we both know. And the fact that he said his care takers would not mind if he was missing worries me as well.” Hotch said, switching back to his usual business tone.

“We just need to keep a close eye on him.”

\---

That day had been the longest of Spencer’s entire life. He had flown for the first time in years, he had joined the fbi, he had gone to a crime scene and a police station, and met more people than he had in the last year. Spencer did his best not to close off when surrounded by so many strangers. It had been difficult for him, but he managed to give his insight on the case and even helped deliver parts of the profile. They were nowhere near catching the serial killer, but Spencer felt good about the amount of work he had done.

He also had noted the fact that Hotch had made a point of introducing him as a doctor and whenever they were in public, referred to him a such. The rest of the team did for the most part as well, except for JJ who had taken to calling him Spence and Morgan who had chosen several nicknames for him.

Speaking of Hotch, Spencer had been assigned to share a room with him. He didn’t know how to feel about that. He obviously found his boss extremely attractive but didn’t want to risk anything professionally by saying something stupid.

He decided to push his feelings (if you could call them that) to the side and focus on his bigger problem; the fact that he didn’t have a go bag. He had already gotten a toothbrush and some other toiletries from reception, but the main issue was that he didn’t have any clothes. He arrived in the hotel room before the unit chief and quickly looked around to see if there was a washing machine within. There was not but there was a pair of cheap pajamas folded in the closet. He supposed he could wear those for now. He would have to go down to the communal laundry room.

He sighed and went to the bathroom to change from his dress shirt, kakis, and sweater vest into the grey pajama set that he found was much too big for him. The pants kept falling down despite that he tied the draw string as tightly as he could and the sleaves of the shirt kept falling down and giving him sweater paws.

It would work though. Spencer opened the bathroom door and instantly collided with his boss who had just entered the room. He dropped his clothes all over the floor.

“Oh! I’m so sorry s-sir!” Spencer spoke and frantically began collecting his clothes.

“No problem at all.” Hotch replied, he had an amused smiled on his face as he watched the teen scramble around. “Might I ask what you are doing with your clothes though?”

“Oh! I was just going to head down to the laundry room to wash them for tomorrow.” He said, standing back up once he had gathered his stuff.

“I see.” Aaron said slowly. “Why do you need to wash them?”

“Because I wore them today.” Spencer said, as though it were obvious.

“I am aware. But why don’t you just wear something from your go bag?” He asked.

“I don’t have one.” He shrugged.

Hotch felt like an idiot. Of course the kid didn’t have a go bag. This was his first day. Why would he bring something like that with him?

“I’m sorry Reid. I shouldn’t have brought you on this case. It was too soon and you were not prepared.”

“I wasn’t physically prepared. But I’m mentally prepared.” Spencer pointed out.

“Ideally you would be both.” A small smile came to the agent’s face.

“I am more than ready for this Agent Hotchner sir. I can do it.” Spencer said.

“Like you said, I think you are mentally capable of this job but not quite physically. You need to stay by me whenever we are in a dangerous situation. Ideally you won’t be in the field but sometimes things don’t go according to planned.” Hotch said.

“I can do that.” Spencer nodded. He then turned to exit the room.

  
“Spencer it’s much too late for that. You need sleep.” Hotch reached a hand out to stop him. “You can wear your pants again tomorrow and borrow one of my shirts.”

Spencer’s though fluttered both by the use of his first name and also at the thought of wearing something that belonged to the older man.

“T-thank you sir.” He smiled.

“Of course. But this brings us to our second matter; I need to speak to your legal guardian.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments!!


	4. Chapter 4

“Oh…um…r-right now?” Spencer asked, looking down to fiddle with the hem of his too big shirt.

“I would prefer as soon as possible as I probably should have spoken with them before we departed.” Hotch nodded. “I can use your phone if you think they are more likely to answer.”

“Oh I don’t have a phone.” The teen replied.

“You…you don’t?” Hotch asked. He seemed a bit taken aback. Why wouldn’t a teenager like Spencer have a phone.

“Nope.” He said simply.

“You will need one in order to be on call for cases.”

“I have a pager.” He said, pulling the small black device out of his pocket.

Now this made Hotch laugh. No one had used pagers since the 90s. Even he didn’t have a pager.

Spencer, of course, did not like being laughed at. He looked down at the floor uncomfortably.

“I’ll just call them on my phone. Do you know the number?”

Spencer nodded and recited it off. Hotch dialed it and pressed the phone against his ear.

It rang several times before Hotch heard the gruff voice of a man answer.

_“This is James.”_

“Hello, my name is Aaron Hotchner with the FBI. I am here with Spencer Reid.” He began.

_“Who?”_

“Spencer Reid. You’re foster son.”

_“Oh that kid. Yeah.”_ There was a pause in which Hotch thought he heard the sound of a beer bottle being picked up. _“What’s he up to.”_

“Dr. Reid was hired at the BAU today and was brought on a case to Florida. We would have notified you before, but it was a sudden case and we left immediately.” Hotch explained. He glanced over at Spencer who had taken a seat on the twin sized bed and opened the book he had had in his satchel. The teen was clearly trying to act indifferent but was obviously attempting to eavesdrop.

_“Is that so? How much does he get payed?”_

“Well, he’ll make about 60,000 a year but that isn’t why I’m calling-”

_“Hook the payment up to my bank. I’ll…put it in savings for him.”_ The man said. Hotch was becoming more and more concerned for the safely of his agent considering his guardian only seemed worried about the money and not that his son was thousands of miles away.

“We can discuss that later I just wanted to make sure you were aware of where he is.”

_“I don’t give a fuck about where he is. Have his paycheck sent to me and we won’t have any problems. He’s self-sufficient.”_

“But sir-”

_“Paycheck to me. Goodbye.”_

Then all he heard was a dial tone.

“What did you say his name was?” Hotch asked, going to his on his own bed.

“James Atkinson. He lives in Virginia.” Spencer said, not looking up from his book.

“How long have you stayed with him?” Hotch asked, trying to sound as conversational as possible. He began taking off his dress shoes and loosened his tie.

“Only about a week. I was in between foster homes when I got the call from Agent Gideon, so I requested a house in Virginia. They typically don’t follow through on requests, but I’m labeled a ‘problem child’ so they don’t really care.” Spencer explained.

“Problem?” Aaron had a hard time believing that Spencer would cause any problems. The teen acted like a 50-year-old man. He even drank coffee for Pete’s sake.

“Yeah. Not many people wanted me. I was in a few…bad homes. Once you’ve been removed from 2 homes you are labeled as a problem.” He explained, finally looking up from his book.

“Oh. I’m sorry.” Hotch said, not really sure what else to say. He still didn’t know much about his new agent but had gathered that his life had not been the easiest.

“It’s alright.” Spencer smiled brightly. “I’m almost an adult which means I’ll be able to get my own place.”

“Are you sure you’ll be able to handle living by yourself?” He asked, standing up and beginning to change from his work clothes into sweats and a t-shirt, well aware that the younger agent was sneaking glances at him.

“I’ve p-practically raised myself. I think I’ll be f-fine.” Spencer said, stumbling over his words a bit. Hotch may be attractive in his suit, but he was just as good looking in his boxers and undershirt. Spencer could see his defined muscles through the white shirt. He turned bright red. He shouldn’t be looking at his boss like this. But Hotch didn’t seem to mind.

“Well if you ever need help with anything be sure to let me know.” The unit chief said, straightening up once he was dressed for bed. He then looked Spencer right in the eye, “And if Mr. Atkinson ever hurts you in any way you be sure to tell me.”

“I will. But I’m fine. He wouldn’t do that.” Spencer shifted uncomfortably.

Hotch had already figured out Spencer’s tells. He knew the teen had just lied to him and that worried him even more than his short conversation with James had. He decided he would look into it more once they finished the case. He bent over and ruffled through his go bag before pulling out an extra FBI t-shirt he kept in his bag. He tossed it to Spencer who, to his surprise, managed to catch it.

“What’s this for?” He asked tilting his head to the side. Hotch thought he looked almost like a golden retriever puppy.

“For you to sleep in. Those hotel pajamas can be really cheap and uncomfortable.”

“o-oh. T-thanks.” Spencer said, looking up with a small smile.

“I’m going to use the bathroom.” Hotch announced before walking to the small room. He didn’t actually have to go but he thought it would be best to give Spencer a second to change and collect his thoughts. The kid had seemed overwhelmed by everything all day. Not that Hotch blamed him. At Spencer’s age he had been playing video games all night and sneaking out with his ex-wife then girlfriend Haley. He couldn’t imagine what it must be like for a kid, genius or not, to join the FBI and be whisked away to Florida in the same day.

He waited a couple of minutes before deciding that it was okay to exit the restroom then opened the door and headed toward his bed. He glanced over at Spencer as he walked and almost had to stop to catch his breath. The kid looked absolutely adorable in the oversized navy-blue shirt Aaron had given him. His hair had been tussled as well and was not longer slicked to the side like it had been before. Hotch thought he could get used to the sight. He wondered how he would look in the morning with his hair no doubt even more wild than it was now. He wanted to go to bed next to Spencer every night.

Stop it Aaron! He scolded himself. This was an underage kid. It didn’t matter that he was adorable. It didn’t matter that he was wearing Hotch’s shirt. It didn’t matter that he would be 18 in a matter of months. He need to stop having these thoughts.

“Good night Dr. Reid.” Hotch says as he gets into bed and turns the light off, plunging them into darkness.

“Good night Hotch. Thanks for everything.” Spencer replied. And he meant it. He had never really felt like anyone cared about him and out of nowhere he is suddenly surrounded by a whole team of people who treat him like a human. And he liked it.

He especially liked Hotch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments!! Lmk what you think and thanks for reading!!❤️


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided I'm going to take them through some of the key Spencer episodes. Some of the stuff in them isn't going to be 100% accurate (ex; Prentiss is on the team during LDSK even though she hadn't actually joined yet) but I'll keep the main parts the same 😊

“Hands a bit higher. Widen your stance. Good.” Hotch said, scanning Spencer up and down and definitely not checking him out in his tight black dress pants.

“Now what?” Spencer asked, not taking his eyes away from the paper target in front of him.

“You shoot.” Hotch replied.

Spencer nodded by did not pull the trigger just yet. He had been very wary about shooting lessons but Hotch had offered to train him for his certification the next day and he couldn’t pass up and offer for some one-on-one time with his secret crush. Well… if he was honest it was more than a crush. He had only known Hotch a week and a half and he knew it was way to early to call love, but he didn’t care. He was falling in love with his boss.

“Shoot Spencer.” Hotch prompted again and this time he did. He missed spectacularly and shot the paper figure between the legs.

“Did Prentiss teach you that?” Hotch said with a small smile.

“This is hopeless.” Spencer whined, taking off his ear covers. “I’m never gonna pass.”

“Profilers aren’t required to carry.” Hotch reminded him. “And you can’t even legally own gun. If you were to pass, we would have to write up a special certification for you.”

“But everyone else has one. You have two.” Spencer said. He was well aware that he sounded like a pouting child in that moment, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Hotch seemed to sense his frustration. He gently nudged the boy out of the way and pulled out his own gun from his ankle. He then proceeded to shoot three perfect shots into the target without even breaking a sweat.

“You don’t need to have a gun to kill someone.”

“Well obviously there are many more methods to end a life such as suffocation, poison, strangulation, which is technically a subcategory of suffocation but, fun fact; is often profiled differently than suffocation as a whole.” Spencer rambled out.

Hotch, of course, already knew this but just nodded along as he listened to the boy. Since the day he joined the team Hotch had kept a close eye on Spencer. Not in a creepy stalker way, but in a profiler way. He had noticed that he was quite good at hiding his emotions, but his eyes betrayed him whenever he was upset. This would happen when a team member would cut of one of his rambles or laugh at one of the quirky things he tended to do. They didn’t do it to be mean, but it clearly upset the teen. Hotch had made it a point of his not to cut off any of the genius’s long explanations or fun facts. He loved seeing how excited he would get while spewing off knowledge. Not that he loved Spencer. That was illegal. That was illegal Hotch.

But only for a few more months.

“Let me help you.” Hotch said eventually, picking up Spencer’s small handgun and placing it in his palm. “Face your target like this.” He started. He moved Spencer’s shoulders and widened his stance for him. “Then keep your arms at an angle.” He wrapped his own arms around Spencer’s molding the shorter boy into the correct stance. “Now take a breath.” He said, noticing how tense his shoulders were.

Spencer did take a breath, but he was filled with the overwhelming sent of his boss’s cologne. How could something smell so good? Hotch was still pressed against him from behind, his mouth just inches away from Reid’s ear.

“Not shoot. And follow through.”

  
Spencer did. He squeezed the trigger and sent a bullet right through the center of the target.

A huge smile found its way to Spencer’s face. He placed his gun down before turning around and hugging the taller man.

“I did it! I did it Hotch!” He said, practically buzzing with excitement.

Hotch was not expecting the hug. He truly did not know what to do with an armful of Spencer Reid, but he followed his instincts and careful returned the hug. He awkwardly patted him on the back twice. “Good just Dr. Reid.”

“Did you see that? It went directly though the middle!” Spencer said, pulling away a bit. Hotch was again reminded of a puppy when looking at the teen.

“I did see it.” He nodded. “Why don’t you try again?”

Spencer nodded. He picked up his Glock and pointed it at the target. “Stance. Breathe. Shoot.” He muttered under his breath before firing again and hitting the center. He did this 5 more time, all of which were on target or close enough to allow him to pass if that had been the test.

He turned around to face Hotch again, another smile on his face. “Thanks for your help sir.” He said, gently removing his earmuffs and safety glasses.

“Any time.” Hotch said, doing the same. He was honesty amazed at how quickly Spencer had caught on. Maybe it had been his… hands on method that had helped. There was actually a chance that Spencer would pass now.

“You should get home. It’s late.” Aaron said, looking at his watch.

“Shoot. What time is it?” Spencer asked, suddenly beginning to gather his things quickly.

“Just after 10:30. Why?”

“Oh no.” Spencer said, his speed suddenly dying out of him.

“What’s wrong. Do you have a curfew?” Hotch asked. He honestly doubted it. It seemed like his foster parents didn’t really care about Spencer. He would have found it rather silly if they allowed him to travel across the country but still gave him a bedtime.

“No. My bus stops running at 10.” He said, looking down at his worn-out convers glumly. “It’s alright though. It’s not that long of a walk.”

There was no way that Hotch was going to let Spencer walk home alone in the dark. “I can give you a ride.” Hotch said, making his way over to his bag and grabbing his keys and badge.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“It’s fine. I’m the one that kept you for training. I’ll give you a ride.” Hotch said firmly. “Let’s get going.” He then began walking out of the building to his car, giving Spencer no choice but to follow. He quickly jogged to catch up to Aaron’s long strides.

“Do you take the bus every day?” The unit chief asked. They eventually made it to his black SUV and the both got in.

“Yup.” Spencer replied, popping the ‘p’ when he said it.

“Where do you live?”

Spencer rattled off an address. Hotch raised his eyebrows a bit in surprise. Spencer did not live in a great part of town. On top of that that was at least an hour and a half bus ride with multiple transfers. That wasn’t safe.

The whole ride to his house Spencer continued to rattle off statistics and facts as he motioned wildly with his hands. Hotch nodded and listened attentively, occasionally asking a question or comment. It felt natural. Comfortable. Hotch was good at listening and Spencer was great at talking. Well… he was great at talking to small amounts of people that he felt comfortable around.

They eventually pulled up to a small run-down house with loud music and what sounded like yelling coming from within. There was a metal gate running around it with a mean looking German Shepard guarding the front.

“Well…here it is. Thanks for the ride.” Spencer said. Hotch noticed his previous excitement and energy seemed to drain the second he laid eyes on his place of residence.

“Anytime.” Hotch said. “Are you sure you are okay staying here?” He added.

“I’m all good.” Spencer said, forcing a smile. As usual, his eyes betrayed him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Get some rest for your test tomorrow.” Aarons said as the boy unstrapped and exited the door.

“I will. Thanks Hotch!”

The door swung closed and Spencer scampered across the darkness to the house. Hotch worried that the dog might bite or attack Spencer. The animal was almost the same size as him. He really shouldn’t have been surprised when the teen pulled the dog into a big hug. The dog itself didn’t seem to particularly enjoy it but did lick Spencer’s face affectionately. Of course, animals would love him. Everyone should love Spencer.

Hotch himself was starting to love Spencer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!! Please LMK what you think!!!❤️❤️


	6. Chapter 6

Hotch knew he shouldn’t be hoovering. He had much better things to do than wait in the lobby outside of the shooting range. He had work he should be doing. He shouldn’t be waiting for one of his agents to take a simple certification test.

But he was. He was sitting in one of the uncomfortable wooden chairs just waiting.

He had also given Spencer a ride to work. He had calculated how long the bus would take and what time Spencer typically got to work and figured out what time Spencer would leave. The young genius had found his boss’s SUV waiting in front of his house when he had left for work that morning. Hotch had insisted that it was no big deal and Spencer’s smiled was worth the extra 30 minutes of his commute.

Spencer himself was not doing so hot at the moment. He had his ear plugs around his neck and his safety glasses over his actually glasses as he bounced nervously waiting for his examiner to arrive. They really shouldn’t be late. The FBI was on a tight schedule.

A man eventually emerged from a wooden door with a clipboard in his hands. “Spencer Reid?” He asked.

“T-That’s m-me!” Spencer stuttered out nervously, giving a small wave.

“You’re a cute little thing, aren’t you?” The much bigger man asked, scanning him up and down.

“I’m here for my c-certification?” Spencer asked, completely oblivious to the inappropriate stares he was receiving.

“You have your gun?”

Spencer nodded and held up the Glock.

“Safety glasses?”

Spencer nodded, pointing to his face.

“Great. You can leave the ear plugs out here and follow me to the range.” He said.

Spencer cocked his head in confusion. “The FBI handbook s-said that ear covers are optional f-for testing. Otolaryngologist’s recommend wearing ear p-plugs if you are going to be f-firing a gun more than t-three times.”

“Well, I’m conducting your certification and I say you don’t need them.” He said. “You can’t carry a gun if you have weak ears.”

Spencer nodded slowly before following him into the room he and Hotch had been in the night before. He had always had extremely sensitive ears and eyes. He didn’t do great around loud noises. Sure, he could handle them and he would be able to get through the exam without many issues but he didn’t enjoy it.

“Show me your stance.” The man said once they were in place. Spencer got in the position Hotch had showed him and took a deep breath, trying to relax.

The man studied him closely. He then walked closer and placed a hand on Spencer’s hit, making him jump in surprise. “Don’t freak out kid. I’m just helping.” He said, pushed and prodding Spencer into a stance that ended up being nearly identical to what he had been doing before.

Once the man was satisfied with his work, he let his hand rest on Spencer’s hip again as he looked at the clip board.

Spencer himself was extremely uncomfortable. He did not like being touched. Well…that wasn’t entirely true. He had liked Hotch’s steady hands helping him shoot his gun. But he most definitely did not like the way this man was touching him.

“Alright. Aim at your target.” He said, finally taking a step back. Spencer breathed a sigh of relief. He could do this. He just needed to forget about this man and focus on what Hotch had said. Stance, breath, shoot.

“Alright good lookin’. Go ahead and shoot.” He said.

Spencer couldn’t do it. He was wrong. He was so nervous for the test and uncomfortable from his examiner that he forgot everything he had learned. He shot the 5 shots he was allotted and missed the target with every single one. In addition to that the loud sound of the gun going off rand though his ears; the small space making the vibrations even worse than they would ever be in the field.

His examiner looked down at the paper and wrote down a few notes. “I guess your shooting isn’t as hot as your body huh?” He asked, not even looking up.

Spencer didn’t reply. He wanted to leave. He wanted to get away from this man that he didn’t even know the name of. He wanted Hotch.

“I suppose I could make you a deal though.” He said.

This caught Spencer’s attention. Maybe he would give him a second chance. “Deal?”

He finally looked up. “You follow me to my office and suck me off and I’ll give you a pass. I would take it if I were you. You can’t retest for a long time.”

“I’m u-underage.” Spencer said, taking a step away from him.

“I won’t tell if you won’t.” He countered Spencer, backing him up against the wall.

“I h-have to g-get to w-work.” Spencer stuttered out before turning and practically running out of the room, leaving his gun behind.

He grabbed his satchel and quickly left the shooting range, only stopping once he was in the waiting room. He allowed himself to catch his breath.

“Reid?”

Spencer turned. “Hotch?” He asked, face still red from the encounter he had just had. “What are you doing here?”

“I was waiting to see how you did.” Hotch said, scanning Spencer’s face for a sign of how it went. He deduced that it had not gone well. “You can retest in a couple weeks.” He said, giving what he hoped was a comforting smile.

“Y-yeah.” Spencer nodded.

It seemed like there was something else bothering him but Hotch wasn’t sure what. He would have to figure that out later. “Let’s head back to the BAU. We can stop in the lobby at the café they have. The coffee there is better than the cheap stuff we have upstairs. My treat.”

Spencer seemed to perk up a bit at the mention of coffee, or rather sugar with a hint of coffee in his case, but he still seemed upset.

What had happened during his exam?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!!! Please LMK what you think!!


	7. Chapter 7

The case had been a tough one thus far. They had determined that they were looking for a long-distance serial killer. There had been several victims in public areas but only one death as of then. The team split of sending some of the agents to go survey the park, including Reid and Morgan.

“Are you alright?” Morgan asked Spencer as they looked around the park for things they hadn’t noticed before.

“Fine.” He mumbled, looking down at the device in his hand.

“If this is about the whistle if gave you, I was only joking pretty boy.”

“I know.” Reid replied, still not looking up. He had been more closed off than usual. He typically wasn’t one to let his emotions show unless it was out of happiness but unfortunately being on a team of profilers meant that they could tell something was wrong.

Luckily, they all just assumed it was about him failing his test. “You can retest in a couple weeks. Hotch will help you practice. Hell, I’ll help you practice though Hotch is a better shot than me. But don’t tell him I said that.” Morgan joked.

Reid finally turned to look at the older agent. “Could we maybe focus on the case for now and talk about my inability to shoot later?” He asked, a bit of sass in his voice. Though most people would have considered his tone to a more experienced officer disrespectful, Morgan just chuckled to himself and gave him some space. Sure, he was still worried but he was glad to see the kid show a little bit of fight. Because he was just that, a kid. Morgan always tried to get him to act like it whenever they could afford the time. Once they had watched a Harry Potter movie when they had been rooming together on a case. Another time he had taken Spencer to an arcade/pizza place in Virginia after work. He thought of himself as almost an older brother to Spencer.

Morgan was torn out of his thoughts but the sounds of shouting. He looked over to see Prentiss ducking behind a tree. Shit, the shooter must be back. His first thought was to get down but they he saw the scrawny teenage agent a few feet away, completely oblivious as to what was happening.

“Reid get down!” He yelled, running towards him.

“What?” Spencer asked, looking around in confusion. He wasn’t confused for long as Morgan sprinted over to him, grabbed him, and pulled him to the ground. Spencer’s breath caught in his throat. Though in his mind he knew that this was just Morgan, his mind immediately flashed back to the hands of his examiner and those of his foster father. He suddenly felt it harder to breath with the agent practically on top of him.

“Reid? Hey, it’s alright. Just stay calm.” Morgan said, assuming he was just freaked out at the fact they were hiding from a shooter.

“D-don’t touch me.” Spencer whimpered out.

That had not been what Derrick had been expecting to hear. He quickly rolled off of the boy so they were both still safely on the ground just with a bit more space.

“Ok ok I’m away. Take a deep breath kid, We need to stay calm though.”

Spencer followed his directions, slowly forcing air into his lungs. They sat in silence, waiting for the sound of a gunshot. “I’m okay. S-sorry.” The teen eventually said, still with his back plastered against the grass in attempt to be as small as possible.

They eventually heard the all clear from some police officer’s and they got to their feet. Morgan was about to ask what had just happened, but they were interrupted by Hotch quickly walking over to check on them.

“You two alright?” He asked, though he was focusing on Spencer rather than Morgan. It had been his first time being involved in anything that was considered “the field” even though he hadn’t been directly involved.

“Y-Yeah. Fine.” Spencer replied, eyes glued on the ground.

“You sure.” Hotch asked, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. Morgan noted that he did not seem to flinch away from Hotch’s touch like he did to everyone else.

Spencer only nodded before walking away, taking out a notebook and beginning to scribble his observations and thoughts on what had happened, leaving Hotch and Morgan alone.

“I think something’s up with him.” Morgan said to the unit chief.

“I know. I’m working on it.” Hotch said, eyes glued on the youngest agent as he continued to walk away.

“What do you think happened at his certification?”   
  


“I don’t know Morgan.” Hotch admitted. “But we need to find out.”

\---

Hotch’s plan of finding out what was wrong with his agent was momentarily put-on hold as he was a bit preoccupied at the moment. He and Spencer were being held at gun point by their unsub who had been one of the doctors at the hospital. There were a number of other hostages as well but Hotch was mostly concerned about the young man at his side. Spencer, to his credit, was putting on a brave face. He had never had to be in a situation like this before and was putting on a pretty brave face. Hotch only hoped he had been able to catch onto his plan when he had suggested they barricade the door.

Spencer knew it wasn’t true. He knew Hotch was just saying all these things about him in order to trick the unsub but it still struck him in his insecurities.

“You know why they took his gun?” Hotch asked the man. Spencer almost didn’t recognize the unit chief. He had a look of absolute hate and disgust on his face. And it was all directed at him. He hated it.

“He failed his qualification. I even take the time out of my day to tutor him and he can’t even hit a target. Missed all five shots on his test. Can you believe that? Not I have to listen to him whine about requalifying.” Hotch said.

“You think you’ve got it rough? All these people do is undermine me.” The unsub said, agreeing with Hotch.

“Put him next to the barricade. That was when they shoot their way in, both our problems are solved.”

Spencer had understood Hotch’s plan up to this point. He had assumed when they moved the hostages out of his line of fire that he was going to try and get the ankle gun to him. But not he was lost. Why could he suggest that? How would he get the gun if he was by the barricade? Had he misunderstood the plan.

Or maybe he really does want him gone, a darker side of Spencer’s mind supplied. Maybe he is just an annoying kid.

Spencer looked over at Hotch, hope, love, and innocence sparkling in the young teen’s eyes. Hotch stared back at him. They only thing that Spencer saw was hate. There was only hate, at least as far as he could see. If he had looked a bit longer, he would have seen the hint of love as well as pain behind the dark brown eyes. Hotch hoped he understood. He could never hate Spencer. He just hoped the kid knew that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please LMK what you think! I love hearing from you!!❤️


	8. Chapter 8

“Can I ask you a favor?” Hotch asked.

Spencer was doing his best not to cry. He knew it was for the case. He knew none of it was real. I knew that. But Hotch had refused to look at him since that one disgusted look just moments ago. He hated it.

“You can ask.” Said the unsub. He still had his large gun alternating between being pointed at Spencer and Hotch.

“I figured we probably won’t make it out of here alive.”

“So?”

Hotch shot a small glance at Spencer before saying. “I want to kick the snot out of the kid.”

The look Spencer gave Hotch was probably the saddest thing that the man had ever seen in all his years of profiling. He prayed to whatever god was listening that Spencer understood the plan. He prayed that the absolutely broken and betrayed look he received was Spencer acting. He really hoped so.

“He’s made my life miserable for the last few weeks. All I do it look out for him because I don’t want to deal with the paperwork if he dies.” Hotch spat out with a merciless chuckle that sounded nothing like the unit chief he had come to know.

“Knock yourself out.” The unsub said with an amused smile.

With that, Hotch was on his feet landing kick after kick to Spencer’s abdomen.

Spencer felt it. Well, he felt two things. He felt the painful kicks of the skilled agent kiting him over and over again in the abdomen as he lay helplessly on the floor. He also felt the metal shaft of Hotch’s second gun pressed up against him. This was his chance.

Spencer curled himself into a fetal position around Hotch’s perfectly tailored pants. He managed to tug the gun out of the holder as Hotch continued to kick him over and over again.

“It’s not that hard!! Stance breathe shoot! You are the only one on the team who can’t do it!” He said with a particularly hard kick to Spencer’s hip.

“Let go! Let go!” Hotch shouted as he attempted to shake Spencer off of him, accidentally landing a kick to his face causing Spencer to roll over in pain.

“Feel better?”

“I think he got the message” Hotch said cruelly.

“What’s that?” The unsub asked, now noticing the empty gun holder near Aaron’s shoe.

All at once, Spencer rolled over, lifted the gun in his zip-tied hands, and fired a single shot directly though the unsubs head. He only had time to let a shocked look come to his face before he fell to the floor dead.

Hotch rushed to the door with shouts of ‘Federal agent’ and ‘hold your fire’ while Spencer collapsed once more to his spot on the cold floor. His body ached from the beating he had taken but it was nothing he couldn’t handle. What he was struggling with was the pain in addition to the words Hotch had said, and the fact that he had just killed the man who was laying lifelessly in front of him.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when Gideon walked up to him and squatted down to his eye level, purposefully using his body to block the dead body. “You alright kid?” He asked, scanning the teen up and down for physical damage.

“Y-yeah. F-f-fine.” He said. “Where’s H-Hotch.”

“He’s talking to the officers. Let’s get you to a doctor.” He said, slowly wrapping and arm around Spencer to help him to his feet.

“ ‘don’t need d-doctor.” He mumbled stubbornly.

Gideon chuckled sadly. “I think you do kiddo. Not many people take a beating from Aaron Hotchner and come out of it fine.”

“Who else has he beat up?” Spencer asked as he limped across the room.

Gideon was cut off by the sound of the rest of the team running up to them. He was swarmed with questions and was overwhelmed by the noise. He wasn’t sure which was to look. Luckily Gideon came to his aid.

“Give him some space. We need to get him down to medical.”

They all looked at each other. None of them knew what had happened in the room yet, nor were they aware that Spencer had had his first kill.

“Let me help you kid. You can barely walk” Morgan said, he turned around and squatted down with his arms back.

Spencer cocked his head to the side. “What are you doing?” He asked.

Morgan looked around, a bit surprised. “I’m giving you a piggyback. Either that or I can carry you bridal style but you don’t look like you can make it down the stares yourself.”

Spencer had an unreadable look on his face, and that was saying a lot in a room of profilers. “I’ve never had a piggyback.” He said thoughtfully. This caused everyone to laugh. Spencer didn’t know why though. He had just stated a fact.

“Come on kid.” Morgan said and Spencer tentatively took a step forward before leaning against Morgan and wrapping his arms gently around his neck. Spencer winced a bit as the taller man stood up as it jostled his injured body, but he had to admit, it felt better than walking.

Morgan carried him down the stairs to the waiting ambulances and police cars. He eventually set the teen down on the metal ledge of the ambulance and he was immediately assessed by doctors.

\--

Hotch gave is statement on the events in the room as quickly as he could. He needed to see Spencer. He felt absolutely horrible about the things he had done and said to the kid. Once he finished what he had to do he rushed down the stairs and out of the hospital into the busy waiting area where the rest of the team was. Gideon nodded over to an ambulance and Hotch made his way over to it. He could see Spencer’s legs swinging back and forth from his spot sitting on the edge but was stopped by a nurse.

“Sorry sir. You have to wait until he finishes being checked over.” The man said, with an apologetic smile.

Hotch just nodded. He understood protocol. He didn’t like it but he respected it.

“How long has he been an agent?” The nurse asked, trying to make conversation.

“Just a couple weeks.” Hotch replied. He looked and saw a very confused look on the face of the medic. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s just he has past injuries and scars that we assumed came from his line of work.” He replied.

This caught Hotch’s attention. “What kind of injuries?”

“I’m afraid I cannot disclose that to you since he is a minor.” He said apologetically. “But his guardian has been informed.”

Great. That’s exactly what Hotch wanted. He hadn’t met James but judging by what Hotch had heard and deduced, he was hurting his agent.

Eventually he was allowed to see the younger boy. He noticed how small Spencer looked with this bruised cheek and a blanket draped over his shoulders. His arms were wrapped around himself as if in protection.

“How’re you feeling?” Aaron asked, stepping into Spencer’s line of sight.

“I-I’m alright.” He mustered a small smile.

“I’m sorry I hurt you Reid.”

“I’ve had worse. You kick like a 9-year-old girl.” He says with the same sad expression.

“You’ve had worse.” He said. It wasn’t a question. It was a statement.

“Don’t profile me Hotch.” Spencer said, using the phrase that was thrown around in the team often.

“I didn’t mean just physically.” Hotch decided to move past that for now. “I didn’t mean what I said either. You are an asset to the BAU and I’m glad to have you on our side. Plus, the team really likes you.”

“Just the t-team?” Reid asked, looking up with hopeful eyes.

Hotch then saw something that broke his heart even more. A single tear was running down the side of Spencer’s small cheek. Without even thinking, Aaron reached out his hand and wiped it away. The teen seemed surprised at first but leaned into the touch.

“I like you too.” Hotch said, giving one of his rare real smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter because I'm bored😂 thanks for reading!! Please LMK what you think or other episodes/moments you think I should include in this!!


	9. Chapter 9

“I don’t get it.” Morgan said, pulling off his ear plugs as he watched Spencer shoot 5 perfects shots right on target. “You’ve hardly missed anything. How did you fail your certification?”

“I ’dunno.” Spencer said, rocking back and forth from foot to foot. He wasn’t very sore anymore from the case they had returned from yesterday but there were still lingering bruises on his body from Hotch’s shoe. Hotch had told Spencer to take the weekend to rest but the teen didn’t consider his home very ‘relaxing.’ He decided to take Morgan up on his offer for shooting practice.

“Is there something you aren’t telling me pretty boy?” Morgan asked.

“There’s a lot of things I don’t tell you. Like yesterday I dropped by book in a puddle and today I ate toast for lunch. It is impossible for someone to truly tell another person everything.” Spencer relied.

“Calm down wonder boy” Morgan chuckled. “I’ll be more specific. Was there anything that was abnormal during your test that you aren’t telling me?”

“N-nothing important.” Reid said. He continued to look down at his feet.

“Look at me kid.” Derrick said. Spencer slowly brought his big brown eyes up to meet the older profilers. “Anything you have to say is important. Now tell me what happened kid.”

Spencer thought for a second before spitting everything out all at once, “It wasn’t even a big d-deal or anything, but he kept t-touching me and he was standing too close which made me nervous a-and I couldn’t focus so I missed by shots and after…”

“After?” Morgan prompted.

“H-He told me if I went t-to his office and ‘s-s-sucked him off’ he would s-say I passed.”

Morgan’s eyes went dark and narrow. “What was his name.”

“I’m not sure.” Spencer admitted. He could have looked him up if he had wanted to but truthfully, he did not want to think of the man ever again.

“Come one.” Derrick said, grabbing Spencer’s gun (which was actually Hotch’s) along with his earmuffs and safety glasses and walking out of the small shooting room.

“Where are we going.” Spencer scrambled to follow close behind.

“We are going to talk to Hotch.” He said.

“Is he even here? W-will he be mad?”

“Hotch is always here. And he will be fucking mad” Morgan said.

Of course, Morgan meant that he would be mad at Spencer’s examiner. Hell Morgan was made. He was furious even and he knew their boss would feel exactly the same way. The man would lose his job no doubt once the ex-prosecutor was done with him. Unfortunately, Spencer took Morgan’s statement to mean that Hotch was mad at him. He assumed he would be mad for either going against his wishes to stay home over the weekend or the fact that he didn’t tell anyone what happened. Maybe both. Spencer wasn’t sure. He had never seen Hotch really mad. He had seen him fake made two days ago but not truly furious. He did want to see it either.

They made their way to the top floor where the BAU was located and sure enough, the lights in the largest office were on. Morgan led the way towards it with Spencer behind him, head hung in shame.

“Hotch?” Morgan knocked a bit harder than he normally would have but who could blame him? Some sleezy agent had sexually harassed his kid genius!

“Come in.” Came the deep voice. Hotch looked up from his paperwork when the two agents entered. “Morgan? Reid? What are you two doing here? I thought I told you to get some rest.” He directed the last part at Spencer who continued to look at the floor. 

“We need to file a report.” Morgan said, sitting down across from Hotch at the desk. He pulled out the chair next to him as well and motioned for Spencer to sit beside him, which he did.

“A report? Of what?” Now Hotch was worried. What would they need to file?

“Do you want to tell him or should I?” Morgan turned to the youngest agent who looked as though he was trying to be swallowed by the floor.

“Y-You can.” Reid mumbled in barely over a whisper.

He sat silently as he heard Morgan recount the events that he had told him. He still couldn’t bring himself to look either of them in the eye. Maybe he would be fired. He didn’t know if he would be able to handle that. He was the happiest he had been in a long time ever since starting at the BAU. They were his family. He relied on his rides with Hotch to work to start his morning. He would miss the playful banter with the team and the brother figure Morgan was becoming.

After Morgan finished there was a long pause of silence.

“I will find his name and file the report.” Hotch said calmly. “I would like to talk to Spencer alone though if you don’t mind.”

Morgan nodded and stood to go. “I’ll wait outside. We can go get some pizza when you’re done.” He patted Spencer’s back twice in comfort before leaving the room.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Was the first thing out of Hotch’s mouth.

“I-I’m s-sorry.” Spencer said sadly.

“Don’t be sorry Spencer. None of this is your fault. But you should have told me.” He said, unconsciously letting Spencer’s first name slip out of his mouth.

“Didn’t w-want you to be mad at me.” was all the teen said.

Hotch let out a sad sigh before standing and walking around his desk so he was leaning against it directly in front of Reid. He cupped a gently hand under Spencer’s chin and tilted it up so their eyes locked.

“I’m not mad at you Reid. I would never be mad at you for something like this. I wish I could have been there for you sooner but none of this is your fault. I’m going to make this son of a bitch pay and I am going to administer you re-test myself.” Hotch said.

“R-really?” Spencer asked. Hotch was already so busy. He would be taking time out of his already packed schedule to help him.

“Really.” A barely there smile came to the face of the profiler.

“T-Thanks.” Spencer managed to say.

Hotch nodded. He was glad that he finally knew what had happened in that test but was beyond furious at the agent. His career would be over when he was done with him. He was also mad that this had to happen to Spencer of all people. Not that he wanted it to happen to anyone else, but the kid had been through quite a bit in the last few days and he was still so young.

Hotch had also been looking into this James Atkinson that was Spencer’s legal guardian. He had found out that he had a criminal record and had been accused of assault, but the case was dropped. Hotch had seen a lot of child abuse and it seemed the Spencer’s ticked all the signs. He had planned on talking to Spencer about it that weekend but decided it could wait until next week.

“You can go now Reid, unless there is anything else you want to tell me?” He said. Spencer only shook his head, casting light on his still bruised cheek from Hotch’s foot. He felt a pang of guilt at the sight. He hoped he never had to hurt the beautiful boy again. “Have a good rest of your weekend. Don’t party too hard with Morgan.” He said with a smile as he returned to his desk.

“It’s just pizza. Not a party.” Spencer said, confusion in his face.

“It’s just an expression. It just means have fun” Hotch explained.

“Right.” Spencer nodded. He turned to leave the office. Before he opened the door, he turned and said. “Have a good weekend. Don’t throw a party with your paperwork.” His usual smile appearing on his face as he left, clearly proud of himself for using a current expression.

Well…almost using an expression. He got the spirit of it at least.

Hotch shook his head fondly as he did in fact return to his paperwork party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THREE CHAPTERS in a day?!?! I am so bored and have absolutely nothing to do so here's one more😂   
> thanks for reading!!! LMK what you think!!


	10. Chapter 10

Hotch tapped his steering wheel patiently as he waited for Spencer to emerge from his house so he could dive them to work. It’s what they did every morning. Hotch had even started bringing the teen coffee with absurd amounts of sugar just how he liked it.

But Spencer was always on time. He had always been good at time management whether it be on a case or just showing up places early. Hotch rarely if ever had to wait for him to emerge from the worn-down wooden house.

Hotch had to admit he had been worried about Spencer’s reaction of the last case as well as the incident with his certification test. He had been concerned that he would become closed off btu he never expected him to skip work. Or maybe he had just chosen to take the bus. Aaron had no way of knowing as the teen still did not have a cell phone.

The unit chief let out a sigh as he turned the SUV off completely and undid his seat belt. He would have to go knock on the door and see what was going on. He was slightly annoyed that Spencer was taking so long but he was also glad to have an excuse to possible meet this James that he had been researching about. Maybe if he got a look inside the house, he would be able to tell for sure if anything questionable was going on.

As he made his way through the yard of dead grass, he heard yelling. He got closer and hear a loud thud as though something had hit the ground. Hotch had his hand to his gun and was ready to kick the door down in less than a second but he was not given the chance. The small tornado known as Spencer Reid came stumbling out the door dressed in a purple shirt and grey sweater, bag hung on his shoulder as usual. His hair was a bit more messed up than usual and he seemed stressed, but he stopped in his tracks when he noticed Hotch.

“I’m s-sorry I’m late. I w-was just f-finishing some housework” He said. There was a quiver in his voice as though he thought Hotch might be mad at him.

“It’s alright. Let’s get in the car.” Hotch said, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible.

Spencer nodded and did his best to keep up with the long strides of his superior. Once they were a good five blocks away from the house Hotch asked what he had wanted to know for the last month, “Reid, has your foster father ever hurt you?”

“What? N-no!” Spencer said, seemingly shocked at the question. “Why would you say that?”

“Because he had a criminal record, he seemed not to know nor care of your whereabouts when I spoke to him on the phone, and I’m fairly sure I just heard him screaming at you.” The agent said as matter-of-factly as if he had been giving a profile. In some ways, he had been.

“He doesn’t physically h-hit me.” Spencer said slowly. “Sometimes he yells a b-bit and I’ll admit he is not the m-most caring guardian b-but I only have to live there two more months.”

“I can get him thrown in jail. I can get you a new placement” Hotch said, he wasn’t sure he believed when Spencer said he was never hit.

“I would be sent to live in a different home which would no doubt be worse than this one.” Reid gave a sad smile. “Not many people want a 17-year-old. I would be moved from Virginia and I wouldn’t be able to work at the BAU. I-I can hold out till I’m 18.”

“Promise to tell me if anything happens?” Hotch asked.

“Promise.” Spencer smiled.

\---

It was a few hours after lunch and Spencer was bored. He finished his paperwork, and they didn’t have a case. What he did have was sodium bicarbonate, a small film canaster, and, though he was a genius, the mind of a 17-year-old boy.

“What’s that?” JJ asked, coming over to Spencer’s desk to investigate what the youngest agent was doing. Spencer liked JJ. She acted like a mother figure to him. His own mother, though he loved her, was never much of a role model. JJ was kind, loving, and compassionate; everything Spencer needed.

“It’s a sodium bicarbonate mixed with a liquid! It creates a chemical reaction between the acid and the base and causes gas to build up until there is a reaction in the form of lift off!” He said, excitedly. “It’s a rocket.” He said a moment later when he was meant with a blank stare.

“Rocket? I wanna see!” Prentis said as she, along with Garcia joined JJ at Spencer’s desk.

“Okay!” Spencer said excitedly. He noticed Morgan and Gideon also watching his demonstration, amused smiles on their faces. “You have to turn around.” He said.

“Why?” Prentiss asked with a laugh.

“A magician never reviles his secrets.” He says, attempting to sound mysterious but failing.

“I thought it was physics?” JJ asked as she and the rest of the team turned around.

“It is.” Reid said, beginning to prepare his tools and create the rocket. “Physics…magic!” He said happily. “Turn around! Quick!”

They did and watch as Spencer’s eyes positively glowed with excitement as he wiggled his fingers, and the bottle began to foam. They all stared intently at the small tube until it erupted into the air, flying across the room and landing right in front of the feet of Aaron Hotchner.

Emily, JJ, and Prentiss took that as their cue to leave, turning around and heading to their desks. Hotch himself slowly picked up the bottle and made his way to Spencer who took a nervous breath.

“Physics magic?” Hotch asked brining the film holder towards the teen.

“Yes sir.” Reid said, eyes flickering between sorrow and hope, unsure how his boss would react.

“Reid, we talked about this” Hotch said, referring to the one time he had performed the same trick for Hotch in their hotel room on a case and had ended up breaking one of the lamps.

“I’m sorry sir.” Reid said, looking like a kicked puppy.

Hotch paused for a second and placed the plastic piece on Spencer’s desk. “You’re really starting to get some distance on those.” He said, turning around to walk to his office before anyone could see the smile that appeared on his face. He did have an image to keep up after all. He didn’t want people to think he turned soft for the youngest agent.

“I guess he does have a sense of humor.” Prentiss said in amusement from her desk. 

“Yeah. He does.” Spencer replied, staring after Hotch with adoration glowing on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of fluff but plenty more angst to come!! LMK what you think!!


	11. Chapter 11

“We can’t send shooters in.” Gideon said firmly. “Prentiss is on that train along with several other hostages. We cannot risk an ambush.”

“Well, what do you suggest? We can’t do nothing, and we can’t follow his directions. We can’t remove a chip from his arm that simply is not there.” Hotch sighed tiredly. They had been camped out in a makeshift office near the train that a delusional unsub currently had several hostages on, including agent Prentiss. He was convinced there was a government placed chip inside of him and insisted it be removed. The team was doing their best to keep everything professional rather than personal, but it was becoming harder and harder as the time passed and the chance of survival lessened.

“What if we could do what he wanted?” Reid piped up. Everyone gave him confused looks so he explained. “Remove the chip. A simply sleight of hand.” He explained, holding up a quarter and slipping it through his small hands making it disappear then reappear.

“Are you talking about a magic trick?” Morgan asked, a bit in disbelief.

“Yeah, I’m talking about a magic trick!” Spencer replied. “The only way he is going to let them go is if we do what he says. And this is the only way we can remove something that isn’t there.”

“Alright.” Derick said, standing up and walking towards the youngest agent. “Teach it to me.”

“This takes years of practice Morgan.”

“I don’t care. There is no way I am letting you in there.” Morgan said. “Hotch back me up.” All eyes turned to the unit chief.

Hotch didn’t really know what to say in all honesty. The emotional side of his brain was saying there was no way in hell he should let Reid in there. It was dangerous, he was new, he was a child, and if Spencer was hurt or died Hotch wasn’t sure what he would do with himself. The other part of his brain supplied that he was a federal agent and taking on the job meant talking risks. Not only that but he could be their only chance of saving everyone on that train.

Luckily, Hotch wasn’t forced to make that decision. Gideon spoke up for him. “Be careful Reid.” He said before shooting an unreadable look to the unit chief.

“I’ll get you supplies.” Hotch said and followed the older man out of the room.

“Let’s get you ready.” Morgan sighed. If the kid was going to go into the field, Morgan was going to make sure he was protected in every way he could. He pulled out the smallest bullet proof vest they had and pulled it over Spencer’s head, messing up his hair.

“Oh come on. I can’t believe they are letting you do this.” Morgan sighed. “They vest doesn’t even fit you.” It was true. Even when the velcro was pulled as tight as it could go the vest still hung loosely on Spencer’s small frame.

Hotch came back with plastic gloves, a knife, and a fake government chip he had taken from a walkie talkie. When he was Spencer, he knew he shouldn’t have smiled at how truly adorable he looked with the oversized piece of equipment, but he couldn’t help it.

“It’s not funny man. We need to tighten it.” Morgan said, clearly not amused.

“I’ve got it. You go check the surveillance.” Hotch said grabbing some safety pins from their toolbox. He knelt on the ground and began safety pinning the sides of the vest closed as best he could.

“I’ll still keep you safe.” Hotch reassured as he tightened it. “Whatever you do, do not take it off. Do you understand.”

“Y-yes sir.” Spencer nodded, starting to get nervous.

“You don’t have to do this Reid. We can find another way.”

“I need to do my part for the team.” Reid was determined. There was no changing his mind. “I can do this. I can help.”

Once Hotch was happy with his handy work he gave one final tug on the vest to make sure it would hold up.

“Thanks.” Spencer smiled.

Hotch was good at thinking with his brain rather than his heart. He was a lawyer. He worked for the FBI. Everything he did was calculated and thought out. What he did next however, was not any of those things. As Spencer began to walk away, he stopped him.

“Wait.” Hotch reached out, gently grabbing Spencer’s arm and pulling him back in a 180 degree turn so they were inches apart. Both men froze, not knowing what to do next. “Just…be careful. Please.” The older agent said. Has this been a movie, and had Spencer been just three months older, Hotch would have kissed him, right there in the surveillance room. He didn’t care that anyone could walk in. He didn’t care that he shouldn’t date coworkers. All he cared about was Spencer knowing how much he cared about him.

But Hotch didn’t kiss him. He was nothing if not a man of principles. He would not kiss a 17-year-old no matter how strongly he felt for him and that was that. No room for discussion. So instead of pulling Spencer into a gently kiss, he patted him twice on the shoulder and said probably the most unromantic phrase that had ever left his mouth, “Go get ‘em kid.”

Spencer seemed a bit taken aback. “R-right. Thanks.” He said before quickly scampering away.

Go get ‘em kid? What had he been thinking? He could have said anything else. He could have said good luck or be safe. Why on earth had he chosen that. Spencer was on his way to deal with an unsub not playing in a basketball game.

Spencer could handle it though. He was tough and smart. He had been doing those magic tricks for years. He would be fine. He had to be.

Because Hotch didn’t know what he would do if he wasn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter!! LMK what you think!! :)


	12. Chapter 11

Hotch bit his lip as he watched the staticky figure of Spencer made his way into the train, hands raised to show he had no weapons. There were several words exchanged between the teen and the unsub. Eventually Spencer nodded to something and began to slid the bulletproof vest over his head.

“Damn it!” Hotch exclaimed, earning several strange looks from the team. “I told him not to take the vest off!”

“He’s got this Aaron.” Gideon reassured. Hotch almost never swore let alone shouted about something. Sure he shouted atpeople but mostly unsubs.

“He better.” The unit chief grunted. Everyone continued to watch the small screen. It was their only connection to their youngest team member. He could do this. He had too.

\---

“You sure you don’t have a gun!?” The unsub Ted Bryar shouted.

“I’m a t-technician. I’m not allowed to carry a gun.” He said nervously. It was taking everything he had not to glance at Prentiss to make sure she was okay. But he couldn’t risk blowing his cover. Now was his time to show he was a real agent.

“Loose the vest.”

Spencer nodded. Since the piece of equipment had been safety pinned by Hotch to keep it on he had to pull it over his head to get if off. At one point he got the veclro strap stuck in his hair but navigated himself out of it successfully. He set it on the ground and straightened his glasses.

“S-should I take it out now?” Spencer asked, refereeing to the nonexistent chip in his arm.

“Hurry up. Sit across from me.” He said. Spencer did as he was told, sitting nervously on the train’s stiff chair. His hands were shaking so much that he was worried he would drop the chip concealed in his palm. 

“Why are you so nervous boy?!” Bryar shouted.

“I’m a t-technician. I told you I’m not used to b-being around guns.” He pulled out a sanitizing wipe and cleaned the area where he would be cutting into. He noticed the several over now healed scars on his arm where he had no doubt attempted to remove the nonexistent chip.

“You seem a bit young for this.”

Spencer didn’t reply. He just pulled out the small surgical knife he had been given and placed it on the man’s skin. He pressed down slowly, opening up a two-inch gash on his arm. Bryar didn’t have any reaction. The doctor continued his work, pulling the blooding limb and sticking two finger’s in. He tried to keep his face neutral. He couldn’t show fear.

He managed to succeed in his sleight of hand, making it look as though he had pulled the chip out of the man’s arm. He let out a sigh of relief.

\--

Hotch saw Reid successfully perform his trick. He felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He still wasn’t safe, but he had done what he had been told to do. 

The feeling of relief slowly began to fade with every second that Reid did not leave the train. He saw his soft lips forming words but wasn’t sure what was being said.

“Now we have two agents in there.” Gideon said.

“And who’s fault is that.” Hotch mumbled to himself.

“You had the opportunity to veto the idea. You are in charge of the unit. Don’t blame me for supporting the kid.” The exchange between Gideon and Hotch might have sounded like an argument had it not been for the fact both of their tones remained calm and monotonous.

“Call him.” Hotch said eventually. Still keeping his eyes glued on the screen.

\---

“You should answer. I-It’s probably the h-higher power. I have protocols to f-follow.” Reid said, attempting to reason with the man.

“You’re lying!” The unsub shouted, making Reid flinch. Spencer heard him murmuring words, but he couldn’t quite make out what was being said. He figured he had some sort of mental disorder. Maybe he was seeing things. Or someone.

Spencer didn’t have much time to think about the possible options because a young man in the back of the train stood and began shouting his support, saying all sorts of false things about the government. He needed to stop. He was only encouraging the illusion. He was only feeding the fire.

“That’s enough. You aren’t helping!” Prentiss spoke. Brayer already knew she was an agent. What else did she have to lose. Well…she supposed she could lose her life but that wasn’t important right now.

The phone began ringing again which appeared to only infuriate the unsub further.

“Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!” He yelled, covering his ears.

Spencer began watching his movement. He calculated his speed and his shot accuracy based on the times he had fired the gun. He began calculating a plan. He may be half the man’s size but if he could catch him by surprise, he might be able to disable the man and give enough time for the officers he knew were surrounding the train to take action. He just needed a distraction.

Both fortunately and unfortunately, Spencer got his distraction. Bryar rose to his feet and shot the phone. He then turned to face a young woman with short hair who was crying, begging to be let go. This was his chance.

Spencer slowly got to his feet, remaining in the man’s blind spot. He heard Prentiss yell something that sounded like “Spencer no!” before he flung himself at the man’s back, grabbing onto him by the neck and causing him to drop his gun. Bryar shouted in surprise before spinning and throwing his fists around in an attempt to get Spencer off him.

It reminded Spencer of the scene in the first Harry Potter movie, that he and Morgan had just watched, when Harry jumps on the back of the troll. Unfortunately for Spencer, he did not have magic powers. Only physics magic and that wasn’t going to help him here. Eventually he was snatched by the hair and Bryar had and arm chocked around his neck and the gun he had originally taken from Prentiss pressed to his Reid’s head.

“Drop the gun!” The unsub yelled. Spencer felt lightheaded. He needed air. He needed oxygen. He saw a blurry version of Prentiss setting down Bryar’s first gun that Spencer had made him from.

“Just let him go.” Prentiss said, calmly setting her weapon down. “We can still fix this. The higher power won’t hurt you if you let him go.”

Spencer now couldn’t see anything. Bryar still has his arm around him in a choke hold. His vision was black. He tried to use his other senses.

“I just need more time!” The man yelled, pressing the gun further ageist the doctor’s head. He then heard a loud bang before he was released and fell to the floor along with Bryar.

“You ran out of time.” Spencer heard his boss say.

Hotch quickly called for a medic before tucking the gun he had just used to shoot the unsub while he had been distracted into the holder in his belt. He then ran to Spencer’s side and pulled him a few feet away from Bryar. He didn’t want the precious boy anywhere near the killer.

“Are you alright?” He asked urgently.

“F-fine.” Spencer said, still attempting to catch his breath. He massaged his neck gently, still sore from the hold he had been in. He was sure it would bruise.

“Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine Hotch.” Spencer said, a bit more confidently this time.

“I’m all good too thanks for asking.” Prentiss called out.

Hotch was still focused on Spencer. “Do you need a doctor?”

“I said I’m fine” Reid said, with a small smile. His face then darkened when he saw their unsub being put on a stretcher and quickly wheeled away. “Is he going to be okay?” He asked, concern and empathy present in his face.

“He killed two people and almost shot you.” Hotch said.

“That wasn’t an answer.”

“He’ll be fine.” Hotch lied. He decided to leave out that the second the man had grabbed Spencer Hotch had main a sprit towards the train and aimed to kill.

“Good. He wasn’t a bad guy. He was just sick.” Spencer replied, slowly getting to his feet. He stumbled a bit and grabbed on to Hotch for support. The old agent wrapped one arm around Spencer’s waist and used the other to grab his arm to balance him.

“Let’s get you back to the hotel. We can order take out and watch one of those nature documentaries.” Hotch said, beginning to walk him out of the train.

“I like space documentaries.” Spencer said, acting insulted that Hotch had mistaken his television preference.

“Sorry. Space documentaries.” Hotch smiled. “You are still in trouble for putting yourself in unnecessary danger”

“Am I grounded?” Spencer giggled.

“This isn’t funny.” Aaron frowned.

“I know I know. But can you yell at me once I get more oxygen in my lungs?”

“I suppose I can let you catch your breath first.” He nodded.

“You know the term catch our breath is an inaccurate depiction of the way breath is sent though the body and lungs? It cannot be dropped. It can only be lost so a more accurate description would be find your breath or…”

  
Hotch just smiled as he listened to the teen ramble on about the respiratory system and how tv shows inaccurately depict the practice of medicine. All Hotch could think about was how fucking glad he was that the kid wasn’t dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! LMK what you think or if you have any specific scenes or episodes you think I should add!!❤️


	13. Chapter 13

It had been a long night. They had closed the Bryar case and flown back to Virginia all within a few hours. After, Hotch had sat at his desk filling out paperwork for another few hours long after the rest of the team had gone home. He finally made it to his own house a little after midnight. It was not unusual for the unit chief to get home late. It was just part of his job.

He unlocked his front door and set his keys on the table before making his way over to the counter and pouring himself a glass of scotch. It wasn’t often that he drank, but he felt as though he had lost several years off his life from the stress of watching Spencer on the train and thus decided he deserved something to distract him.

He had only taken a few sips of the dark substance before he heard a soft knock on his door. He checked his watch. No one should be coming to his house this late unless they needed help or wanted to kill him. Both options seemed likely given his job. He put his hand on his gun that was still tucked into the holder on his belt and make his way through the door. He unlocked it and slowly opened it.

“Spencer?!”

“I didn’t k-know where else t-to go.” He whimpered.

Hotch couldn’t see him well in the dark but he could tell by his tone of voice that something was wrong. He stepped aside, ushering the small teen inside. Once he was fully in the light Hotch could see what was wrong. Spencer was sprouting a dark black eye, a split lip, and was cradling his arm to his chest. Said arm was wrapped in a t-shit and rapidly turning red with what Aaron could only assume was blood.

“What happened?” Hotch asked. He somehow managed to sound serious and concerned at the same time without showing a hint of emotion on his face.

“I can usual h-handle it on m-my own b-b-but I can’t do s-stiches on myself.” He said, doing his best to hold back tears.

“Stiches? Reid! You need to go to a hospital!” Hotch cried out, quickly moving to grab his car keys.

“No!” The only reason Hotch stopped was because of the fear leaking out of the younger agent’s voice.

“Why not? You’re hurt.”

“I j-just…could I sit d-down?”

“Yes. Of course.” Hotch nodded. He placed a hand at the small of Spencer’s back and gently lead him over to his couch.

“I need you to stich my a-arm.” Spencer said, holding up the limb that was still being compressed by the shirt.

“Why can’t we go to a hospital?” He asked though he was already standing and grabbing his first aid kit from the kitchen.

“I just c-can’t. I a-assumed you’d know h-how to do it?”

“Yes.” Hotch nodded. He had been trained in several first aid matters. He returned to his seat next to Spencer on the couch. He held his hand out but Reid kept his arm cradled to himself like he was afraid Hotch would hurt him. “I need to see the arm to stich it Spencer.” He said, using the boy’s first name.

“R-Right. Sorry.” He held the arm out tentatively.

“Don’t be sorry.” Hotch replied. He gingerly pulled the t-shit off of the wound. It took everything he had in him not to wince at the large bloody gash that was running down Spencer’s forearm.

“How did this happen?” Hotch asked. He pulled out the supplies he needed, unwrapping an alcohol wipe and disinfecting the area.

“C-can we talk about it later?” the doctor winced at the sting from the wipe.

“Have you read any interesting books lately?” Hotch asked. He pulled the string thought he needle and began sewing up the wound.

“I w-was reading a l-law book the o-other day.” Spencer said, purposefully looking away from his arm.

“I’m a lawyer you know.” Hotch said.

“I know.” Spencer replied, a small smile coming to his face.

“Have you ever considered being a lawyer?”

“N-no. I’m a p-profiler.”

Hotch chuckled “You have more than enough time in your life to peruse multiple careers.”

“I like the FBI. B-but I would be a- ah!” Spencer cried out at a particularly painful stitch. “a scientist! I-if I was anything else.”

“Almost done Spencer.” Hotch hummed as he pulled the last stitch through and tied the string. “Now let’s look at that eye.”

“It’s f-fine.” Spencer said, looking down.

“Can we put some ice on it at least?”

“Fine.” Hotch got up and went to the kitchen, returning a minute later with a bag of ice. He noticed Spencer was biting his lip and appeared to be holding back tears.

“Talk to me Reid.”

And that was it for him. The teen burst into tears. “I don’t k-know what t-to do Hotch!” He cried.

“Hey hey.” Hotch quickly made his way around the couch and say down next to Spencer. “It’s alright Spencer. I’m going to help you. Just tell me what happened.” Hotch had a sick suspicion that he already knew what had happened, but he wanted to give the boy a chance to open up.

“I-It’s not usually this bad.” He started, trying to wipe away the tears but they just kept coming. “H-he usually doesn’t t-touch me anywhere that someone could s-see. B-but he was the bruises f-from the unsub and g-got mad. I-I t-told him about the case a-and my magic trick. He s-said I shouldn’t have c-cut someone’s arm open t-to just s-show off so h-he cut my a-arm open so I would k-know how it felt.”

Hotch’s eyes were hard. He was mad. Furious. He was going to kill that son of a bitch. Not questions. The man was dead.

“I-I’m s-sorry.” Hotch was ripped from his thoughts when he heard Spencer whimper.

“I’m not mad at you.” He quickly clarified. “and I’m going to take care of this. How long has he been abusing you?”

“He’s not a-abusing me.” Spencer said quickly. “H-he just gets drunk s-sometimes and hits m-me.”

“What’s the definition of abuse Reid.”

“Abuse is the improper usage or treatment of a thing, often to unfairly or improperly gain benefit. Abuse can come in many forms, such as: physical or verbal maltreatment, injury, assault, violation, rape, unjust practices, crimes, or other types of aggression.” Spencer recited the definition word for word.

“So wouldn’t you say this falls under that description?”

Spencer didn’t reply. He just hung his head.

“Can I hug you?” The unit chief asked suddenly in a very un-Hotch-like manner.

Spencer looked up at him with his big watery eyes and nodded. Hotch leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Spencer’s small form. The boy in turn sunk into the touch, basking in the feeling of warmth.

“You will stay with me from now on.” Hotch said. “Or you can stay with another member of the team if you prefer but you are not going back to that place.”

“I’ll stay with you.” Spencer said quickly. “Except for one-night next week. Garcia and Morgan invited me to have a sleep over.” He added with a small smile.

“Have you ever had a sleepover before?” Hotch asked, amused.

“Nope.” Spencer replied. “I saw one in a movie once.”

Hotch chuckled. Spencer felt the vibrations of his laugh in his chest. “Well, I’m sure you will have fun. Do you need to get anything from you foster house? Clothes, books?”

“N-no. I brough my go bag.” Spencer pulled away a bit and pointed to his satchel that was stuffed full of items.   
  


“That’s all you have?”

“Y-yeah.” Spencer said nervously.

“Wait did you walk all the way here?!” Aaron realized.

“Yeah.” Spencer said shyly.

“Why didn’t you call me? That’s like a 9-mile walk.”

“No phone. Remember.”

Spencer and Hotch had slowly released each other from the hug the older man pulled him close one last time. He rubbed a gentle circle in Spencer’s back. “I’m going to take care of you from now on. You’re safe now.”

And it was true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! I love reading all your comments!!❤️


	14. Chapter 14

“So how do you know this guy again?” Hotch asked as he drove the dark SUV.

“He was a friend of mine in high school. And by friend, I mean one of the only people who didn’t shove me in lockers.” Spencer replied. From the back seat.

“And he’s and artist? Is he any good?” Gideon asked. He was sitting in the passenger’s seat while Hotch drove. Spencer was seated in the back like a child being driven by his parents. He had been invited to the art show in LA and Hotch had not wanted him to go by himself. Gideon had tagged along because he was a fan of art as well as the fact that he felt responsible for the kid.

“I’m not sure. Art is considered objective to the eyes of the viewer. Fun fact, many now world-famous artists were criticized in their day because their art was considered to “out there” but now they are the highest pricing paintings because people began to adapt their views on beauty and art.” Spencer said.

“What else do you know about art?” Hotch asked, not because he was particularly interested in the topic but more because he loved the sound of Spencer’s voice. Liked. He liked the sound of Spencer’s voice. Not love. He couldn’t love someone underage.

It turned out, it might have been quicker to ask Spencer what he didn’t know about art. He rambled on and on about different painters and styles as the two older men listened with fond smiles on their faces.

They eventually made it to the art exhibit and Spencer quickly retracted back into himself as he tended to do in public settings. Gideon put a hand on his shoulder as if to offer comfort and led him into the exhibit. Hotch followed behind, attempting to stifle the feeling of jealousy that was coiling around inside him.

“Spencer Reid!” Came the voice of a tall man in a brightly colored shirt that contrasted his brown coat. “How’ve you been man!” He asked.

Spencer was about to offer one of his little waves in greeting, but his friend grabbed his hand to shake. Spencer did, though he didn’t love physical contact.

“Good to see you!” Parker smiled, clapping Spencer on the shoulder, almost knocking the much smaller boy off his feet.

“H-Hi!” He smiled shyly.

“Aww you haven’t changed at all.”

“Thanks.” Spencer replied.

“He was the only 10-year-old in our graduating class.”

“This is S.S.A’s Gideon and Hotchner.” He said, motioning to the two agents. “And this is Parker Dunley. Like he said we went to school together.”

“Good to meet you both.” Parker said, shaking Hotch and Gideons hands.

“Mr. Jason is a big contemporary art enthusiast.” Spencer smiled. Gideon had insisted the Spencer call him Jason when they were not at work, but Spencer had flat out refused. He said he felt like the was being disrespectful if he used the man’s first name. Gideon had insisted that it was not and they had eventually compromised on ‘Mr. Jason.’

“Well we have a lot of great new artists here. And I’m sure I could get a discount for a friend of mine…” Parker trailed off, becoming distracted by something. Spencer turned to see what he was looking at and saw a very pretty young woman with blonde hair and shining eyes enter the studio.

“Excuse me.” Parker said, walking away from them and towards the blonde and her friend.

“Let’s go look over here.” Hotch said, motioning towards a part of the exhibit that was farthest from where they were. He had seen the look that the younger woman had shot Spencer and he didn’t want to give them a chance to talk to each other. Not that he was jealous.

Before the group could move Dunley called out for Reid to join him. “Ever met a real movie star?”

Hotch stood next to Gideon, eyes locked on the scene in front of him, attempting to eavesdrop as best as possible.

“Calm down Aaron.” Gideon said in his monotonous voice.

“I am calm.” Hotch replied. He watched as Spencer smiled shyly and stumbled over his words, clearly nervous while talking to a pretty girl.

“You’re jealous.” Hotch opened his mouth to argue. “Don’t deny it. I’ve been a profiler longer than you.”

Aaron remained silent. Was it really that obvious?

“He likes you too by the way.”

“I don’t think of him as anything more than an agent. He is underage.” Hotch said stubbornly.

“Sure. But when he does turn 18 and the two of you get together, I hope you know that if you hurt him I will mentally and physically pick you a part until you have nothing left.” He said as casually as if they had been discussing the weather.

Hotch said nothing, just thinking about what he had said. Did Spencer actually like him? Would they get together when he turned 18? He was still so much younger that Aaron even if it was legal in a few months. Not to mention the fact that they worked together!

“Have you seen my work.” A woman with dark hair asked, walking up to Gideon.

“No.” He said, flatly, ignoring her advances.

  
“Right over here.” She smiled, grabbing his arm and pulling him to the left. Hotch almost laughed at the face of surprise the older profiler made. He clearly had not been expecting that. He then brought his eyes back to Spencer.

“Wine?” A waiter asked, both Lila and Spencer. The woman took one of the glasses but Spencer waved his hand, declining.

“Come on doctor. Have a little fun.” She smiled, taking a second glass and pushing it into his hand.

“I-I’m not 21.” He said.

“I won’t tell if you won’t.” She smirks, taking a sip of her own glass.

Spencer takes the glass in his hand. He had never drunk alcohol before. Surely it would be fine. He brought the drink to his lips. Before he could take a sip there was a different, stronger hand on his glass, gently guiding it way from his mouth and out of his hand. “I don’t think so doctor.” Hotch spoke.

“Let him have a little fun.” Lila said, giving another charming smile that apparently did not fool Hotch.

“He is 17 miss. If he were to accept alcohol here and the authorities were to find out, this who establishment would be shut down. We wouldn’t want that to happen.” He glared at her.

Spencer was about to say something but they were interrupted by Gideon walking up to them quickly. “Let’s go. Now.”

“But-” Spencer tried to argue.

“I agree. Let’s go.” Hotch said, setting the undrunk glass of wine on a table and heading towards the door.

“I guess I h-have to go.” Spencer smiled at Lila. “It was n-nice to meet you!” He called out as he was whisked out the door.

“Why do we have to leave?” Spencer asked as he climbed into the back seat of the car.

“We have a case.” Gideon said. “and there is a crazy lady in there who apparently think I look like her father or something.”

As Hotch drove he sent Spencer a loot though the rear-view mirror.

Spencer knew he would be in trouble for accepting the alcohol, but he just felt like he couldn’t say no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!!❤️


	15. Chapter 15

“Let’s just have Derek guard her.” Hotch said.

“We both know that we need Morgan on the front lines. It’s the best plan to keep Spencer both involved and out of the field.” Gideon replied. “Don’t let your feelings effect the case.”

“I know I just…” Hotch paced back and forth in the small office the LA police had given them. He didn’t want Spencer to be the one to guard Lila, leaving him alone with her for who knows how long. In truth he was worried that the actress would take advantage of the younger agent. She had nearly convinced him to drink wine and that was extremely out of character for the boy. “I suppose you are right.” Aaron nodded. “Have him ride with the police who are guarding the house. Tell him not to leave her side and to keep his gun on him at all times.” Hotch said before turning his back and gathering some of his paperwork.

“Why don’t you tell him?” Gideon asked. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, it was just that Hotch usual was the one who delivered assignments.

“Because if I see him, I’ll change my mind.”

\---

“Looks like it’s just us.” Lila smiled, as she sat herself on the couch, legs crossed and covered by a purple silk robe.

“Y-Yeah.” Spencer said, remaining standing. He looked anywhere but at Lila. He found her very pretty but some of the things she said made him uncomfortable. Morgan had been teasing him constantly and calling him ‘lover boy’ but Spencer didn’t love her. She was very pretty but nothing compared to Hotch. Hotch never made him feel uncomfortable.

“Calm down.” Lila laughed at him. “Sit down and loose the gun. We aren’t in danger.”

“I-I’d really prefer t-to be safe rather than s-sorry.” He mumbled.

“How old are you like 16?”

“I’m 17.” Spencer said defensively.

“Oh my bad.” She laughed again. It wasn’t like when Morgan or Garcia laughed at him, full of amusement but kindness as well. She was laughing at him because she found him entertaining.

Spencer didn’t reply. He just continued to look around the room, eyes landing on a collage mounted on the wall.

“Want to go for a swim?”

“What?”

“I said do you want to go for a swim?” She said with the same almost fake sounding laugh.

“We should really stay inside.” He said. She, of course, ignored him and walked out the back door to the door, leaving her robe on the floor. Spencer did his best to avert his eyes from to young woman now wearing only a swimsuit as he followed her outside, hand resting on his gun just in case.

“Come in! Go grab a suit from the house!” Lila said before diving into the water gracefully.

“It’s not safe out here in the open.” Reid continued to scan back and forth around the yard, searching for danger.

“I’m not going to stop living my life because of some stalker. I’m just not.” The woman said, wiping water out of her face.

“J-just please come in.” Spencer pleaded, beginning to get nervous. He was fully exposed in the open. If the stalker were to see him around Lila, he would surely be shot.

“Fine.” She sighed, swimming towards the edge of the pool. “Can you at lease help me out?”

Spencer nodded and approached the edge. He stuck out his hand to help the woman out of the pool. They second their hands met, Lila began pulling him as hard as she could causing him to fall face first into the warm water.

“Lila!” Spencer sputtered out once his head popped back out of the water. In the deep end Spencer’s shot legs could hardly touch the ground. He struggled to walk on his tip toes at he made it to the edge of the pool, taking his now wet gun out of the pouch and placing it on the side.

“Come on! Have fun!”

“N-now my clothes are all w-wet.” Spencer mumbled looking down at his now soaked clothes. The tie had been one of his favorites too and it would likely be ruined.

“Come here.” Lila said sweetly, moving in closer to the agent.

“I-I can’t.” He mumbled, stepping back so he was pressed against the wall.

“No one’s watching. We’re all alone.” She said. They were very close now, bodies practically touching.

“This is c-completely unprofessional.” Spencer said, practically whimpering. He knew he was strong enough to push her away if he needed to, but he just felt like he couldn’t. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but he also definitely didn’t want to kiss her.

“Just relax.” She smiled before pressing her soft lips to Spencer’s in a kiss.

Spencer almost kissed back because he didn’t know what else to do but pulled back quickly. “We c-can’t.”

“Yes, we can.” She insisted before pulling him back in for an even deeper kiss.

Spencer didn’t know what to do. He felt himself freeze up. Why had Hotch sent him to guard her? Why had he agreed to? He didn’t know what to do so he just stayed still in the pool and let her kiss him.

“W-wait! I n-need to tell you something.” Spencer said, brain finally beginning to work again.

“What?” She asked a hint of something in here eyes that Spencer couldn’t quite read.

“It’s a-about your manager Michael?” He said. He knew they had agreed it was best not to tell Lila about the death of her manager just yet, but he needed to get away from her. And this was the only way he could think of.

“What?” She asked, beginning to sound annoyed that he had stopped her from kissing him.

“H-he’s dead.”

“H-he’s? What?” She asked, clearly shocked. “But how?!”

“We sent an officer to go talk to him and he had been s-shot.”

“And you didn’t tell me?” She asked, suddenly angry. She pulled herself out of the water and grabbed a towel out of a shelf nearby.

“Lila I’m sorry” Spencer tried to apologize, getting out as well.

“I can’t believe you kissed me when you had lied to me about something like that!” She cried out.

Spencer was about to reply that he had not in fact kissed her, but she had come onto him btu was cut off by the sound of rustling in the bushes that turned out to be Morgan and Prentiss. Reid went to grab his still wet gun to offer back up but it turned out that they didn’t need it as Morgan dragged a handcuffed photographer out of the bushes.

Prentiss searched him for a gun and read him his rights as Morgan went over to Reid who looked like a wet and grumpy kitten, shivering despite the warm weather.

“You should go back to the hotel kid.” Morgan said. He pulled off his leather jacket that he always wore and wrapped it around the younger profiler’s body.

“I’m f-fine.” Spencer insisted.

“No. You are wet and cold, and I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be around Lila.” Morgan insisted.

“But-”

“Not buts. I saw you two kissing and it didn’t look like you enjoyed it much. And even if you did you are underage, and she shouldn’t be touching you in that way. Get a ride back with one of the officers and we will reassign you in the morning.” Morgan said, leaving no room for argument.

“Fine.” Spencer agreed. “But only if you don’t tell Hotch about the…thing.”

“The kiss? We’ll see.” Morgan replied.

Spencer wasn’t reassured by that answer but nodded and walked towards one of the cop cars. He didn’t want Hotch mad at him for kissing someone on a case. That went against tons of protocols. Not only that, but he didn’t want Hotch to think that he couldn’t handle himself. Spencer was more than capable to fend off any danger. But sometimes, he had a hard time saying no. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! LMK what you think!!


	16. Chapter 16

Spencer wished he could work the case. He wished he hadn’t been banished to his and Hotch’s hotel room. He wished he had never met Lila in the first place.

Unfortunately for him, his wishes never seemed to come true. He sat on his stiff hotel bed attempting to read a new book on phycology he had found at the library but kept getting distracted by his own thoughts. He wondered what the rest of the team was doing and if they had any new leads. He should be out there helping them!

It was nearly 1 in the morning when Reid heard the sound of the door open along with the soft footsteps of Aaron Hotchner. Hotch quietly placed his keys and gun on the small table before turning to look at Spencer who was still wide awake in a t-shirt, sweats, and Morgan’s jacket around his shoulders. He was clearly exhausted if his messed up hair and the circles under his eyes were any indication.

“I thought you would be asleep.” Hotch said, taking off his jacket and loosening his tie, and whether Spencer found the scene before him more attractive that he should have was not important.

“I was reading.” Spencer said, nodding unnecessarily to the book in his lap.

“I see.” The unit chief nodded. “We closed the case.” Hotch answered Spencer’s question before he had a chance to even ask it.

“What happened?” Reid asked, closing his book.

“It ended up being one of Lila’s friends. She broke into har house with a gun. Morgan handled the situation though. No one was hurt.” Hotch sat down on his own twin sized bed with a sigh, looking thoughtfully at Reid.

“Reid are-”

“I’m sorry about what happened at Lila’s house!” Spencer interrupted him quickly. “I didn’t mean to get in the pool or t-to kiss her or a-anything I j-just couldn’t s-stop her and I know it w-wasn’t professional and I-I’m…I’m sorry.” He finished his little rant, hanging his head.

“I was going to ask if you were okay.” Hotch said softly, his voice less formal and more kind than usual.

“Am I okay?” Spencer repeated.

“I don’t know. That’s what I’m asking” Hotch chuckled a bit.

“Why w-wouldn’t I be?”

“Reid, I saw that photos that were taken by that photographer.”

Spencer looked down again in shame.

“She clearly forced herself on you.” Aaron watched the teen’s face carefully to gage his reaction. “Do you want to press charges? I’ll represent you.”

“Do I want to…what?” For a genius, Spencer was having a hard time creating a coherent thought.

“She assaulted a minor.” Hotch replied.

“I-I don’t want to. I just w-want to forget about it.”

“Alright.” Hotch agreed. He had hoped Spencer would let him press charges on Reid’s behalf. When Aaron had seen the pictures, he didn’t think he had ever been so mad. Not only at Lila but at himself too. He never should have let Spencer be alone with her. He knew the kid had problems standing up to authority and never would have been able to say no to her.

“You’re not mad?” Spencer looked up, hesitantly.

“No.” Hotch answered simply because it was true.

“Could I…” Spencer said before swallowing. He took another breath attempting to gather his courage.

As if he was connected to Spencer by a mental string, Hotch somehow knew exactly what the teen was asking for. He wanted some form of physical reassurance that he was okay. That he as safe.

Hotch stood and took a few steps closer to the other agent, sitting down beside him on the bed before pulling him into a hug.

Spencer laid his head on his boss’s chest, basking in the warmth and comfort that he offered after his long day of shifting emotions. Hotch made him feel safe. He liked the man’s touch. He hadn’t liked Lila’s. But he liked Hotch’s.

Spencer mumbled something into Hotch’s white dress shirt. “What was that?” The older man asked.

“It’s nothing just…that w-was my first kiss.” He said, still tucked close to Aaron.

“Oh Spence.” Hotch sighed, looking down at him. The kid had lost so much. He didn’t deserve to lose something as simply yet precious as his first kiss. Hotch had wanted to be the first one to press his lips to Spencer’s. He had wanted to show Spencer what love was. But he couldn’t.

“Only JJ calls me Spence.” Spencer said with a little giggle.

“Would you prefer if I call you Doctor Reid?”

“No no. Spence is good!” He laughed again before letting out a huge yawn.

“You should get to sleep.” Hotch said. The last thing he wanted to do was get up and leave the warmth of the agent, but he knew the kid needed sleep.

“Alright.” Spencer said with another yawn. Instead of getting under the covers and allowing Hotch to get up, he snuggled closer into the older agent, so he was now laying with his head on the man’s chest.

“Spencer you should…” Hotch started but realized that the kid was already fast asleep on top of him.

Hotch didn’t think about how this was completely inappropriate. He didn’t think about how Spencer was 17 and Hotch was his boss. All he thought about was the small warm figure resting on his chest with his silky brown hair falling into his face. Hotch would rather be shot in the leg than attempt to get up and accidentally wake the teen. So, he remained still as possible, listening to Spencer breathing.

Hotch slowly began to feel himself drift to sleep as well. He knew he should be in his own bed. But he didn’t care. Protocols be damned. Social structures be damned. And Hotch himself just might be damned but he didn’t care. Just before falling asleep Hotch leaned over and pressed a soft kiss on Spencer’s temple. He may had lost his first kiss to Lila, but his next real kiss was going to be from Hotch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMK what you think and if you have any episode suggestions for the next chapter!


	17. Chapter 17

“What are you going to do for your birthday pretty boy?” Morgan pulled Spencer out of his thoughts. They were on a case in Washington investigating an unsub who would drug and poison people in restaurants. Morgan and Reid were currently on they way to interview and witness while the rest of the team looked at the latest crime scene.

“I’m not sure. I haven’t really celebrated my birthday.” He spoke. He wasn’t sad about it. It was just a fact. Just another part of the sob story that is Spencer Reid.

“Never?” Morgan turned to look at him in surprise.

“Maybe when I was really little but not for a long time.”

“Well, what do you want?”

“I want to catch the unsub?” Spencer replied, clearly confused by the question.

“No” Morgan chuckled. “What do you want for you birthday? Like a present.”

“Oh.” He had never really thought about that. He had always focused on the things that he needed not that he wanted. He needed to buy himself clothes. He needed to buy food. He needed to avoid his foster family. But what did he want?

“I don’t know. I like books.” He said shyly, hoping it was the right answer.

“Books? Not like an x-box or a football?”

“Do I look like I play football?” Spencer laughed.

“Fair enough.” Morgan nodded. “But if you could have anything in the world right now what would it be?”

The first thought that sprang into the teen’s mind was Hotch. He wanted Hotch. But obviously he couldn’t tell Morgan that. “Well, I need to start looking for an apartment.”

“An apartment? You’re moving out?” Morgan asked. Hotch was the only one who knew anything about Spencer’s home life. As far as the team was concerned Spencer had a decent homelife and got on well with his foster parents.

“Y-yeah. I’m going to be a legal adult.” Spencer nodded.

“You shouldn’t have to life all alone.” Derek’s face darkened with concern. “Why don’t you stay with you foster parents for a while longer?”

“I’m not even living with them right now.” He replied. He figured now was a good a time as any to reveal where he had been living.

“You…what?” Morgan asked, getting distracted from the road and almost swerving into another lane. “Who are you living with?”

“Hotch.”

“Hotch? Hotch who?”

“Our boss.” Spencer replied.

“You are living with our boss Aaron Hotchner.” Morgan said slowly.

“Yeah. My foster dad wasn’t great so Hotch is letting me stay in his guest room until I’m 18.”

Morgan was silent for a long moment. Reid was typically pretty good at reading people, but he had no idea what was going on in his friend’s head. He knew the team would find out he was living with Hotch eventually and decided to just get it over with. Surely, they would assume Hotch was taking him in as a paternal figure. Spencer hoped they didn’t see the way he looked at his boss.

“We are going to talk about this later.” Morgan said as they pulled up in front of the house and parked the car.

Spencer only nodded and exited the SUV. They needed to focus on the unsub. He had been going up to people on the street and blowing a powdery drug in their face. The drug was only lethal in large doses. Not everyone had died but there had been enough victims that the BAU was called in. Morgan and Spencer were interviewing a man who had survived an attack a week ago.

The pair of agents walked up to the door, badges out. Morgan knocked twice. There was no answer, so he knocked again.

“Jakob Langly! FBI.” He called out. There was still no answer.

Suddenly, the door swung open hard-hitting Spencer directly in the face, causing him to face. The teen stumbled back into a bush while Morgan quickly reached for his gun. He wasn’t given a chance to stop their apparent unsub as a dusting of white powder was blown into his face. Morgan was fast enough to be able to cover his mouth and refrain from inhaling a lethal amount but did feel himself feel a bit dizzy.

“That’s him!” Spencer said jumping to his feet and wiping away some blood trickling from his nose where it had been hit.

“Let’s go.” Morgan said, his voice a bit more sluggish than usual. He would be fine. He was just a bit out of hit.

They two watched as their unsub jumped into a small blue car in the driveway and sped off down the street.

“We need to follow him. You drive.” Morgan said, tossing Spencer the keys. Derrek was clearly in not state to drive right now.

They got into the car and strapped in. “Let’s go kid! Come on!” Morgan said, not wanting to let the guy get away.

Spencer was frozen, just staring at the wheel in front of him. “Morgan.” He said before looking over at the other agent blankly. “I don’t know how to drive.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Morgan almost laughed. “Turn the key, pull this into drive, and slam on the gas.”

Spencer nodded nervously and did as he was instructed but unfortunately the car did not move.

“The gas Reid! That’s the break!” Morgan said. He reached over and turned on the sirens.

Spencer pushed down on the other pedal and the SUV shot out from its spot and began flying down the street in hot pursuit of the unsub.

“Okokok. It’s fine. I can dive.” Spencer murmured to himself. They followed the blue car into a busier street and the teen clenched the steering wheel even tighter. They eventually came to a stop sign and Spencer slowly began to slide to a stop.

“What are you doing! We are in a care chase!” Morgan shouted. It wasn’t in a mean was, just in an exasperated way. He knew Spencer was trying his best but who followed traffic laws when chasing and unsub.

“S-sorry!” Spencer said. He sped up again getting closer and closer to their guy.

Morgan pulled out his phone and called the team. “Hotch we need back up on highway 99! We are in pursuit of our guy.”

“Understood.” Hotch said. Morgan heard what sounded like him giving orders before his voice returned to the phone. “Are you and Spencer alright?”

“Yeah, we are.” Morgan replied. He made a mental note that Hotch had called the kid Spencer instead of Reid. “I got drugged a bit but nothing serious. Just a little woozy.”

“You shouldn’t be driving” Hotch said sternly. “And you should…wait. Spencer’s not driving, is he?”

As if on cue Spencer took a particularly sharp turn, scrapping the car against a bus and nearly totaling the car.

“Driving is a strong work.” Morgan replied.

“Morgan, tell him to pull over now. It’s not worth either of you getting hurt. We have a barricade set up down the-”

Hotch was cut off by the sound of a shout and a loud bang.

“Spencer! Morgan!” Hotch shouted into his phone but there was not response. “Are you both okay?” Still nothing.

Hotch felt like he couldn’t breathe, the silence was sucking the breath out of his lungs.

“We got him.” Came the soft voice of Spencer.

“Oh thank god.” Aaron sighed in relief. “Are you both okay? We are on our way with officers to your location.”

“Yeah, we are fine. We got the guy too.” Spencer replied.

“How did you do that?”

“I may have crashed the SUV just a little bit. But I crashed it into our unsub’s car, and he tried to run away but Morgan jumped out and tackled him.” Spencer replied.

“You crashed the car?”

  
“Yeah. It’s just a little bit totaled.” Reid said, suddenly sounding like a nervous kid calling to tall his parents he had been in an accident.

“I guess I’ll have to teach you how to drive” Hotch replied and Spencer can almost hear the fond smile on his face.

“That might be best.” The genius nodded.

“We are almost there. See you in a bit. Stay safe.”

“Alright.” Spencer nodded even though Hotch couldn’t see him through the phone. The unit chief was about to hang up when he heard the soft voice speak again. “Hotch?”

“Yeah?”

“You stay safe too.” Spencer said.

Hotch couldn’t help the smile that came to his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a bit of a filler chapter but we'll get back to the angst real soon😂 thanks for reading!!! LMK what you think!!


	18. Chapter 18

“Hotch?” Spencer asked as he knocked on his boss’s door late Monday morning.

“Yes Reid?” Hotch asked, instantly setting down his paperwork and giving the teen his full attention.

“I was wondering if I could have an extra hour for lunch today? I’m going to look at an apartment a few blocks from here and I’m not sure how long the meeting will take.”

“Yes of course.” Hotch said, not really registering the question until Spencer had turned to leave. “Wait, you are buying an apartment?”

“Well, I’d be renting it yes.” Spencer said, turning back to face the older agent.

“Do you have enough money for that?”

“When I turn 18 and I open a bank account so I can start actually getting my paychecks I should be fine.” Spencer nodded.

“You aren’t getting your paycheck?”

“You seem to have a lot of questions.” Spencer giggled.

“I’m sorry.” Hotch said, quickly composing himself. “I don’t mean to intrude.”

“No, it’s fine. My foster father has been receiving all my money every week.” Spence replied.

“He shouldn’t be doing that.” Hotch said.

  
“I know but I just need to wait it out. Only two more weeks and I’m free.” He smiled.

“You know you can keep living with me if you would like?” Hotch said before he could stop himself. “I understand if you would like your own place, but you are a bit young to be living alone. I have lots of room at my place.”

“I don’t want to intrude.” Spencer said slowly. Truthfully, he wanted nothing more than to remain living with the older man. He absolutely loved the domesticity they had found with each other in the last few weeks. Spencer had even taken on some chores in attempt to do his part. He had tried to cook dinner once but had found that cooking was not as simply as standard chemistry and had almost burned the house down.

“Just…know you are welcome.” Hotch said before looking back down at him papers. “And take Morgan with you. He knows a lot about houses, and he can help you drive there.”

Spencer was about to argue that he was capable of going places himself but decided he wouldn’t mind spending some time with the older agent. He walked into the bullpen and over to Morgan’s desk.

“Will you come look at an apartment with me?” Spencer felt like a kid in school again asking someone to be his bathroom buddy. He was fully expecting the man to say no. but was pleasantly reminded that Morgan was his friend when the man accepted.

“Sure, thing kid. You driving?”

Spencer nodded. Morgan was the only one who had proven effective with their driving lessons. He had driven with Gideon once and the man kept pointing out every little thing he did wrong. Hotch was the opposite. He offered little input just took notes on everything he did. Unfortunately, that meant Spencer would fail to notice things like a mailbox that he swore had not been there the day before. Morgan was a balance of the two; he offered constructive criticism but didn’t attempt to micromanage him. He did insist that they took Hotch’s car though. He wasn’t letting Spencer anywhere near his shiny red truck.

JJ had also decided to join them. It was probably a good thing too because Morgan and Spencer could start to act like children when they were left unsupervised for too long.

“Alright now we are going to take a left at the light. Make sure to check your mirrors.”

“I know how to get there” Spencer said as he changed lanes after forgetting to check his mirrors.

“Yes, but it’s not every day your genius mind doesn’t know how to do something. I’m going to enjoy knowing more than you.”

He forgot to mention that while Morgan was a good teacher, he was also incredibly cocky.

“He’s got it under control.” JJ said from her spot in the back seat. She may have been holding the handlebar as tightly as she could, but Spencer didn’t need to know that.

“This is a bit far from the BAU.” Morgan said as they kept getting farther and farther from their office and heading into a worse part of town.

“Yes, well not many high-end apartment complexes are interested in renting a room to an 18-year-old who had never owned property before and currently has $700 to his name.” Reid said as he came to an abrupt stop after nearly missing a red light.

“Only $700?” JJ asked. That couldn’t be right. Spencer had been working at the BAU for nearly 3 months. He only seemed to have three different shirt and a handful of books. He couldn’t have spent it all already.

“728 dollars and 46 cents.” Spencer nods.

“Just a reminder that yellow means slow down not speed up.” Morgan said.

“But you said that if I can make it I should speed up?” Spencer asked, nose scrunching in confusion.

“Yeah but not if you are still half a street away from the light!” Morgan chuckles.

“Well, we made here alive did we not?” Spencer asks as he attempts to parallel park.

“Barely.” Morgan mumbled under his breath.

It only took Spencer 27 tries to get the car legally parked. Once he made it he put the car in park and got out, clearly very proud of himself.

“Good job kid.” Morgan said, clapping him on the back as they walked into the lobby of the building. He didn’t mention that the drive should have taken 7 minutes and it had taken nearly 20. It didn’t matter.

“This looks…interesting.” JJ said as they entered the lobby. It was shabby to say the least. Everything looked dirty and there was not secretary or security guard to be seen.

“It the cheapest place within my desired distance from work.” Spencer said.

“Well yeah but it looks kinda dangerous. I don’t want to have come analyze the crime scene here when you get murdered in your sleep.” The man said.

“It will be fine.” Spencer said.

“Spencer Reid?” A man asked, coming out of a room that was labeled ‘office.’

“Y-yes sir.” Spencer replied, getting a bit nervous around the new person.

“Here.” He grunted, tossing a small key to the teen which he scrambled to catch. “Second floor. Leave the key on the desk when you leave. Call me tonight if you are interested?” The landlord said.

Spencer nodded and lead the group to the elevator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided not to dive back into the angst just yetttt but there is definitely some coming very soon! Let me know what you think!!!


	19. Chapter 19

“I’ll take the stairs. There is no way that elevator is going to hold all of us.” JJ said as their stared at the small rickety lift.

“Alright.” Spencer agreed.

Morgan followed the teen into the elevator and the doors closed behind them. Spencer held onto the small gold colored railing as they began to move upward. 

“You scared?” Morgan teased when he saw how tightly Spencer was gripping the handle. In truth he did want to scare Spencer. He wasn’t going to tell him that he couldn’t live in this shitty apartment but if he could help him realize the danger of the area for a teen on his own…well all the better. 

“Do you know how many elevator deaths there are a year? 6! Not to mention thousands of injuries requiring hospitalization and I’d rather not be one of them.” Spencer replied.

“I’m sure it’s safe.” Morgan said, mimicking what Reid had said about the apartment complex as a whole.

As if on cue, the elevator jolted to a stop. Both men looked around in confusion. Morgan’s reached out to press a bunch of buttons. When that didn’t work, he jumped up and down in attempt to move the lift.

“Don’t do that.” Spencer said, reaching out and stopping his had from pressing unnecessary buttons again.

“Why are you scared? You scared Reid?” Morgan teased again with a chuckle.

“Just chill out.” Spencer attempted again btu the other agent did not listen.

“You aren’t scared of an elevator, are you?” He said. Derrek jumped up one last time. Unfortunately, the elevator could not take anymore. The second Morgan’s feet hit the ground the lift suddenly dropped several feet causing Morgana and Reid to grab the railing so they wouldn’t fall.

“P-press the a-alarm.” Spencer said, his eyes wide with fear.

“Alright. It’s alright kid.” Morgan nodded, moving to press and pull the red button.

“Pres the button.” Spencer repeated.

“I am! Look push pull, push pull, nothings happening man!”

“Well pry the doors open!” Spencer said, attempting to come up with any ideas.

Morgan almost smiled a that. He knew Spencer was starting to think of him as a brother and had a lot of trust in him but did the kid really think he would be able to pry open a metal door? He decided to attempt it to humor him.

“It’s stuck man.” Morgan grunted as he attempted to slide the doors apart.

Unfortunately, the older agent’s movement cause the small box to drop another few feet making both agents stumbled back again.

“No no no. Not today.” Morgan mumbled to himself.

“Hotch!” Spencer called out in a high-pitched voice, eyes scrunching in fear.

“Hotch isn’t here kid.” Morgan said slowly.

“Right.” Reid nodded. He hadn’t really been focusing on their situation. He had been filled with fear and his instincts screamed for the help of the person he wanted most. But Hotch wasn’t here. Hotch couldn’t save them. But JJ was here. “JJ!” he called out.

Morgan rang the bell a few more times. “JJ!” He yelled as well.

After another few seconds of elevator torture the doors finally slid open causing Morgan to run out as fast as possible, almost running into their blonde friend.

“Was that the alarm? Are you guys okay?” She asked in concern. Spencer slowly made his way out of the elevator, clearly shaken from the experience.

“I’ll g-get back to you on t-that.” Reid mumbled.

“Well, the apartment we are looking at is right over here.” JJ said, motioning down the damp looking hallway to a room marked with the numbed 31.

Spencer was about to unlock it with the key but Morgan stepped in front of him. “We need to see if the lock actually works.”

“Don’t break anything please.” Spencer sighed.

Morgan chose not to reply to that. He gently pushed on the door to test how sturdy it was. With that little amount of pressure, the door swung open without anyone even touching the handle.

“I can add a new lock.” Spencer said, before anyone could comment on the lack of any security. He walked into the apartment leaving JJ and Morgan in the hallway looking at each other with nervousness on their faces.

\---

“How did it go?” Hotch asked as his three agents made their way into the bullpen.

“Fine.” Spencer said, Hotch the keys to his car.

“He hit another mailbox.” Morgan smirked ignoring the death look Spencer attempted to shoot him.

“Again?” Hotch asked, no anger on his face, just a quiet amusement.

“Yes, but the car is fine.” Reid mumbled, going to sit down at his desk.

“How were the apartments?” Hotch looked a bit out of place among the other casually dressed agents. He leaned against Spencer’s desk as they talked which earned a couple questioning stares from the other agents. He didn’t typically stop working to come ‘chat’ in the bullpen.

“It was fine. Might not be the best place.”

“Why’s that?”

“They had an elevator that wasn’t up to code.” Spencer said pulling out some of his paperwork but not starting it yet.

“And it’s probably a body dumping sight.” Morgan added from his spot across the room.

“They I would agree that it’s not the best place.” Hotch nodded with a small smile.

“I…I’m not sure I’m going to be able to find a place in two weeks.” He admitted sadly, looking up at Hotch with his big brown eyes.

“Spencer,” Hotch lowered his voice. “Do you actually want to live on your own, or do you feel like you have to. Because like I said before you are more than welcome to stay at my house.”

“But do you want me there?” Reid asked.

“Do I what?” Hotch was caught off guard by the question.

“Do you actually want me to live with you or do you just feel bad for me?” Spencer clarified. He fumbled with the hem of his shirt nervously. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer to that question. There weren’t many adult men who would want some young co-worker to live with them long term. His still had a glimmer of hope that Hotch may just have some sort of feelings for him. He knew it was a long shot, but it was something.

Hotch himself had to stop and think about the question. He wasn’t thinking about the matter itself but rather the consequences. Of course he wanted Spencer to live with him! That was a complete no brainer. But even after he turned 18, he would still be so much younger than Hotch. And he was a co-worker. Aaron had made thousands of pros and cons lists in his head since he met Spencer and one thing always seemed to weigh out the others. He was in love with Reid.

“I do. I want you to stay with me.” He said, quiet enough so the team wouldn’t hear him but with a sediment of determination. Spencer needed reassurance and Hotch was more than happy to tell him how much he was wanted.

“Thanks.” Spencer smiled shyly.

“Of course.” Hotch nodded and turned to walk back to his office. The unit chief only had a few kinds of smiles; the one of amusement and fondness, the one to be polite, and the soft one full of love. The silly smile on his face for the next hour was full of adoration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting closer to Spencer's birthday!!! LMK what you think!! ❤️


	20. Chapter 21

“Aaron? Could I borrow your car?” Spencer asked, nervously shifting from foot to foot where he stood in front of his boss. It was a Friday night, the day before Spencer turned 18. Hotch had been in the middle of making dinner and texting Morgan back and forth to finalize the plan for the small party they would be having.

“Do you have a drivers license?” He asked, not looking up from the pasta he was cooking. It was a recipe that one of his old co-workers and friends David Rossi had taught him to make

“I have a permit.”

“Is that a license?”

“Well… no.”

“Then no.” Hotch said, with a soft chuckle.

“I need to go somewhere?” Reid said. Hotch looked up to see that he was clutching a yellow file folder tightly between his hands.

“Where? I can drive you.”

“You seem busy. I can take the bus.” Spencer shook his head purposely ignoring the question.

“Come on Spence. What’s going on?” Hotch said. He took the pasta off the heat and turned his full attention to the teen.

“I just…I n-need to go to my foster house to have James sign some p-paper since I’ll be an adult t-tomorrow.” Spencer stuttered. He had been careful not to mention his foster father around Hotch. He just wanted to move on from James and never see him again and he was worried Hotch would try to get him thrown in jail or something. Not that he didn’t deserve to be in jail. Spencer just didn’t want to have to see him again.

“I’ll go for you.” Hotch said wiping his hands on a kitchen towel and walking over to Spencer. He grabbed his keys and wallet before the teen could reply.

“No. I h-have to be there. W-we legally have to sign the papers together.” Reid explained.

“They we will go together.” Hotch grabbed both his and Spencer’s jackets off the coat rack. Spencer’s coat was actually one of Hotch’s that was way too big for the boy’s small frame. He didn’t have many clothes as James would never buy him anything and he absolutely refused to let Hotch take him shopping. He insisted he would buy his own things once he started getting his paychecks.

“Aaron I-”

“Spencer I’m not letting you go to that house by yourself. We will go together. You can drive if you want?”

“You can.” Spencer mumbled walking out the door and getting into the passenger’s seat.

Hotch nodded and walked to the driver’s seat. He pretended not to see the small scratch near the front head light that had not been there when Spencer and Morgan had borrowed the car the day before.

“Spencer, are you sure-”

“I’m sure.” Spencer cut him off.

“You didn’t even hear what I had to say” Hotch smiled softly. The kid really could be stubborn sometimes.

“You were going to ask if I was sure that I didn’t want to take legal action on James.” He said. Hotch wanted to be surprised that Reid knew exactly what he was going to ask but he was a profiler after all. “And the answer is still no. I just want to move on with my life.”

“But you deserve justice.”

“This isn’t a case Hotch. You don’t need to save me.” Spencer smiled softly. Hotch didn’t need to save him because he already had.

“I just wish I could do something.” Aaron said.

“I know you’ve already outlined a case.” Spencer said, still looking out the window at the passing cars.

“How do you know that?” Hotch asked, not denying it. He wouldn’t have done anything without Spencer’s permission, but he wanted to have all the information he could prepared in case he changed his mind.

“I saw James’s folder on your desk.”

“I just want to be prepared.” He said.

They sat in silence for the rest of the ride. Once they pulled up to the house Spencer took a deep breath before turning to Hotch. “You really don’t have to come in.”

“I know. But I will.” Aaron said.

“Just…try not to get mad?” Reid asked, phrasing it like a question rather than a request.

“What is he going to do Spence?”

“I don’t know. But please don’t do anything. I just want to get this over with. Promise?”

“Promise.” Hotch nodded. He really hoped he would be able to stay true to his word, but he wasn’t sure if he would be able to. He would break his promise if it meant protecting the teen.

They get out of the car and walk up to the gate. The large dog that was always there barked at Hotch, showing its teeth.

“It’s alright Walt!” Spencer said, opening the gate and pulling the dog into a hug. A smile came to his face as the German shepherd’s attitude instantly changed to one of joy and he began licking Spencer’s face.

“Walt? Like Disney?” Hotch asked, his face going soft at the scene in front of him. Maybe he should get a dog for Spencer? If it meant seeing him this happy, he would get him 100 dogs.

“No. Like the poet.” Spencer said as though it were obvious. “James never names him. He always just called him ‘bitch’ so I named him myself.”

“I’ve never heard you swear before?” Hotch was a bit taken aback.

“Technically I didn’t since I was quoting someone.” Spencer smiled softly before turning back to the house. “Let’s get this over with.” 

Hotch nodded and they made their way up to the tired wooden house with paint chipping off the sides. There was a broken window as well that looked like it was now held together with tape.

Spencer knocked twice on the door. “Mr. Atkinson?” Hotch frowned at that. Why did he use the man’s full name?

The door swung open and a large, dirty, and clearly drunk man came into view. He had on a stained white tank top and jeans that were weighed down by a tool belt. He had a garden of stubbled on his face and in his hand was a half-drunk bottle of beer.

“So, the bitch boy returns.” He slurs with a sneer.

“I’m bitch boy.” Spencer whispered to Hotch. He didn’t seem upset, just like he wanted Hotch to be able to know who James was talking about. “Sir, we just need you to sign this paper and then we will be on our way.”

“And why would I do that?” He asked, stepping back from the door and walking over to the lumpy couch that he then sat on.

“Because we both need to sign it now that I’m about to be 18. Sir.”

“hmmm.” He said, pretending to be deep in thought. “And who’s this?” James asked, looking at Aaron as if seeing him for the first time.

“I am SSA Aaron Hotchner.” Hotch said, sticking his hand out for the man to shake which he did not. He let his hand fall back to his side.

“So…” James stood up again, stepping closer to Hotch as if to intimidate him. Unfortunately for him it took a lot more than that to scare the experienced agent. “You’re than one who took Sparker.”

“Spencer.” Reid corrected softly.

“Was I talking to you!?” James whirled on the teen. Spencer immediately flinched and hung his head.

“No sir. I’m sorry.”

This was going to end poorly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMK what you think!!!❤️


	21. Chapter 21

“We just need you to s-sign some papers a-and we will be g-gone.” Spencer stuttered, head still looking at his battered converse. Hotch hated to see him look so unconfident and sad. Spencer was an amazing and smart young man, and he didn’t deserve the torture he had clearly received at the hand of this man.

“And what if I refuse?” James sneered.

“Then we will take you to court and sue you for emotional and financial damage not to mention a restraining order and most likely prison time for your abuse of Dr. Reid here.” Hotch answered coldly.

“With what evidence.” James turned to Hotch now. They were roughly the same height, but the agent had more muscle and much less fat that James. Not to mention Aaron wasn’t intoxicated like the other man. “I never touched him. Right bitch boy.” He turned to Spencer, flexing his arms in an obvious threat.

“N-no sir.” Spencer replied automatically.

“You don’t have to call him sir.” Hotch told the teen. He had noticed from day one that Spencer insisted on calling anyone he considered better than him sir or ma’am. He had even called Morgan sir on his first day of work much to everyone’s amusement. But James was not even close to being better than Spencer in anyway. He did not deserve his respect.

“Yes, he does.” James countered before Spencer could reply.

“No. He. Doesn’t” Hotch said, taking a step closer to the man with every word. “You are going to sign the papers that end yours and Spencer’s legal relationship then we are going to leave.”

“You aren’t going to tell me what to do. You’re just some stupid government guy. You probably just took in Spenler so you could fuck him. He’s going to come crawling back to me the second you are done with him.” James said with a dark laugh. “He’s not even that good in bed.” He added on.

Hotch was practically frozen for a second, as if his brain were buffering, fully taking in the words that James had just said. There was no way he had done that to Spencer. He couldn’t have. How could someone be so evil as to rape that sweetest boy that Aaron had ever met?

“Now I suggest you leave agent and leave my kid alone.” He spat out as he grabbed onto Spencer’s arm and pulled him to his side so aggressively that Spencer stumbled and ended up falling to the floor.

This snapped something in Aaron’s brain, and he was back into action. He had James by the collar of his shirt pressed roughly against a wall in a matter of seconds. “Don’t you ever touch him, talk to him, or look at him again.” He spat out, slamming the man against the wall with every word. “Spencer, go wait in the car.”

Spencer didn’t even try to argue. He knew Hotch was mad and he wasn’t quite sure he wanted to see what would happen next. He scrambled to his feel and backed out the door not turning his back from his foster father for one second.

“Now you are going to sit at this table and sign the fucking paper’s or a swear to god you will regret it.” Hotch said, grabbing the file and slamming it down on the small coffee table beside them.

“But-”

“Sit down and shut up!” Hotch yelled. James may have been a stupid man, but he was not stupid enough to question he danger in Hotch’s eyes at that moment. He quickly scrawled a signature across the paper and set the pen down.

“Happy?” James said sarcastically.

“Not as happy as I will be when you are thrown in prison for child abuse.”

“You have no case. That kid is so stupid there is no way he could stand up in court and say what happened. Not only that but he knows it was his own fault. He won’t want to press any charges against me.”

“He may not but I do. And I am someone who gets what they want. See you in court.” Hotch said, turning to go.

“Fuck you. And fuck that stupid bitch ass whore you took from me.” James called out. It was only a matter of seconds before he was on the floor and Hotch was sprouting a bruised knuckle from the force of the punch he had delivered to James’s face.

“Don’t you ever talk about him like that again.” Aaron said, staring down at the man without even blinking. “He is a thousand times smarter and kinder than you ever were or even hope to be.” Hotch said before storming out of the house and back to the SUV. He saw Spencer’s eyes pop up in the window, clearly worried and upset.

Aaron was almost to the car when he heard a small whin near his feet. He looked down and saw the large dog looking at Spencer through the windows with sad eyes. Hotch let out a deep breath attempting to calm his anger before he got to the car. He looked up and Spencer and down at Walt once more before pulling off his perfectly knotted tie and looping it around the dog’s collar into a makeshift leash. That man did not deserve a dog. Spencer did. And Hotch was willing to do anything to make Spencer happy even if it meant living with a dog despite his allergy to the pets.

Hotch saw his agent’s face positively light up as he approached the car with the dog at his side. Aaron opened the back door and patted the seat for Walt to jump in. Spencer slithered almost like a snake through the car, climbing into the back seat and pulling the dog into a hug. “You got Walt!” He said happily, laughing when the dog licked his face. Hotch noticed there were remnants of tears on his cheeks. That was one of Hotch’s least favorite sights he decided. He never wanted to see Spencer cry again.

“Yeah. I got Walt.” Hotch smiled, already feeling his nose stuff up from his allergies but ignoring it.

“Thank you, Aaron.” Spencer said with a genuine smile. There were more tears in his eyes but these were not sad. They were full of hope and happiness.

“You’re welcome Spencer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMK what you think!! Next chapter is Spencer's birthday!!


	22. Chapter 22

Spencer woke up the next morning to the feeling of something warm and wet on his face. It took him a moment to realize that it was Walt liking his face from where he lay curled up on the blankets of Spencer’s bed. “g’morning Walter.” Spencer said sleepily. He pet the dog lightly on the head. He had been surprised when Hotch had allowed the German Shepard to come home with them but was incredibly grateful. Walt had been by Spencer’s side throughout all his time with James. Spencer had slept with him every night. He made him feel safe.

“We should probably get up.” Spencer said, but not moving. The bed in Hotch’s guest room was one of the most comfortable things he had ever experience. It was soft but not too much so and the best part was that the sheets and blankets were washed in the same detergent that the older man used so the whole room smelled like his boss and crush. A crush that he unfortunately would never amount to anything more until…

Spencer sat up in bed. Today was the day! He was finally 18! He had thought so much about it. Not about his birthday it’s self but about the fact that he was an adult now. He could live on his own. He could open a bank account and buy himself things. He could date someone over the age of 18, namely, Hotch.

Hotch himself was thinking about that same thing as he attempted to flip a pancake. He was not the best chef and it ended up a bit lopsided, but it would still taste good he hoped. In truth he had not been able to get Spencer out of his mind; both the fact that he was now an adult as well as all the things and implications James had told him the day before. How bad had Spencer really had it? Was it even worse that he had let on?

Hotch was pulled from these thoughts by the arrival of Spencer himself. He was able to tell the teen was there before he actually saw him because he immediately let out a sneeze the second Walt was near him, trailed closely by Spencer. It was almost like Reid himself was the puppy, excitedly following someone he loved. In a way he was.

“Happy birthday Reid!” Hotch said, letting out another sneeze.

“Thanks! Did you know that the act of celebrating birthdays originated in Egypt? People would come together and celebrate the Pharos’s birthday and-” He was cut off by yet another sneeze. “We might need to get you some allergy medicine. I think you might be allergic to Walt.” Spencer said, sending an almost accusing look at the dog in question though it was not a mean one.

“Yeah. Maybe.” Hotch chuckled.

“I’ll put him in the backyard for now.” Spencer said before bouncing off to open the sliding glass door into the grassy yard.

Hotch took that moment to send a quick text to Morgan to let him know that Spencer was up and ready for their first part of operation birthday.

“Did you know that dog allergies are caused by an abnormal reaction form someone’s immune system to a dog’s skin, hair, or saliva? The body attacks the proteins like an intruder?” Spencer said, coming back into the kitchen and climbing up onto one of the bar stools at the kitchen counter. He had Hotch had fallen into a very domestic morning routine. They would always have breakfast together while Spencer went on and on about fact and Hotch just nodded his head and occasionally asked questions.

“Are you insulting my immune system?” Hotch asked in mock offense.

“Yes. It’s abnormal. But mine is too.” Spencer said.

“It is? Are you allergic to something?”

“I’m deathly allergic to peanuts.” Spencer nodded dismissively.

“You’re what?!” Hotch asked. How had Spencer not told him this? He had been feeding the teen breakfast and dinner for nearly two months. “Spencer that would have been important information to have!”

“I guess I forgot.” He said, reaching for a plate of pancakes.

“Do you have an EpiPen at least?” Aaron asked, still not believing he hadn’t known of his allergy until now.

“I did but it expired. I was going to get another one when I got my paychecks.” Spencer said. He grabbed the syrup and positively drowned his breakfast in the liquid. It wasn’t often that he was able to eat sugary foods. Hotch was a big believer in what he called ‘real food’ which apparently was just oatmeal or wheat toast for breakfast and some sort of meat or pasta for dinner. Spencer enjoyed his cooking but sometimes he just wanted to have a bowl of ice cream. He had a huge sweet tooth.

“I’ll get you one today along with some dog allergy medicine.” Hotch said.

They were interrupted by the sound of Walt’s barking from the yard.

“Someone’s here.” Spencer said, tensing up immediately. He was used to that bark meaning that James had arrived. 

“It’s just Morgan.” Hotch reassured him. “Do we need to grab Walt? Is he going to attack him or something?”

“No. Walt can tell it someone is nice or not. Morgan will be fine.” Spencer said. Sure enough, the barking died down and eventually there was a knock at the door.

“It’s open” Hotch called out, going back to the stove and making another pancake.

“There’s the birthday boy! How does it feel to be an old man now?” Morgan asked, walking over to Reid and messing up his hair.

“Age standards are created by popular culture. What is considered old now and here could be considered different in a separate place or time. It’s all about perception and the standards of a society.” Spencer replied with a mouth full of pancakes.

“…ok.” Morgan said after staring at him for a long second. Sometimes he truly had no idea what the genius was talking about but found it best to just move on. “We’ve got a full day planned.” He said changing the subject. Derrek walked into the kitchen and stole a pancake of Hotch’s stake before the man could stop him.

“What are we doing.” Reid asked. He was unaware that they were going to be doing anything.

“I’m taking you to the best strip club in town!”

“Morgan!” Hotch shot him a disapproving look.

“Kidding! Calm down boss man.” Morgan held his hands up in defense. “It’s a surprise though. We’ve got to leave soon in order to meet JJ and Garcia on time.”

“Are you coming?” Spencer turned to Hotch.

“No. I’ve got to get some work done.” He lied. In truth he would be helping Gideon and Prentiss set up the small party they would be having at his house, but Reid didn’t need to know that just yet.

“Alright.” Spencer said, trying not to show his disappointment on his face.

“Let’s get going kid.” Morgan said, patting him on the back, causing Spencer to wince. He had touched him right where he had a bruise from being pulled to the floor by James.

“O-okay.” Spencer nodded, standing up and grabbing his shoes and coat. “See you later Hotch!”

“Have fun Spencer.” Hotch said with as smile as he watched the pair walk out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He's finally 18!! LMK what you think!! You may have noticed this but comments make me write faster 😂


	23. Chapter 23

“So where are we going?” Spencer asked as he bounced his leg excitedly.

“I told you it’s a surprise.” Morgan smiled, glancing off the road and over at Spencer for a brief second.

“It’s not a strip club, right?” Reid asked cautiously, still weary from the man’s comment earlier that morning.

“No. Did you want to go to one? Because we can do that instead?”

“No! no! no!” Spencer said, turning a deep shade of red at the mere thought of going to a strip club with Morgan.

“Don’t you want to see all those beautiful ladies?” Derrek teased. He had no intention of taking the younger boy to a strip club both because the kid was still so younger an innocent and the fact that Hotch would kill him. But it was fun to tease him.

  
“No.” Spencer said firmly. “I’m gay.”

“You are?” Morgan said in surprise. He had sort of assumed it because of the way Reid was always staring at Hotch but was a bit shocked that he felt comfortable sharing that information with him.

“Yeah. I used to think I was bi but I realized I wasn’t after I kissed Lila.” Reid replied.

“You didn’t kiss Lila. She kissed you. Without your consent.” Morgan replied, tightening his hands on the wheel a bit. He still felt bad that he had not been their in time to get Spencer out of that situation before it had happened.

“I know.” Spencer nodded.

The rest of the ride was filled with more teasing and the occasional fun fact. They eventually pulled up to a small brick building. Garcia and JJ were waiting outside.

“Happy birthday Spence!” JJ smiled.

Reid was instantly swarmed by the two women the second he stepped out of the car. Once they finished with the well wishes and hugs Spencer spoke up. “So where are we exactly.”

“It’s an escape room.” Garcia said excitedly.

“A what?” Reid cocked his head to the side.

“An escape room. It’s basically a room with a bunch of puzzles and clues that you have to solve in order to get out.” JJ explained as they made their way into the building.

“So it’s like a case?” Spencer asked.

“Yes but no one dies.” Morgan agreed.

Spencer thoroughly enjoyed the escape room. He took the lead on the ‘investigation’ and they managed to finish the whole thing in less than 10 minutes to the complete shock of the teen running the room. Apparently, that was some sort of record. They even got their picture taken and hung on the wall with all the other teams that had complete the puzzles in record time.

“You’re really smart.” The teen who looked to be about Spencer’s age named Ryan said after he listened to Reid give a 15 minute lecture about the importance of math in logic and problem solving.

“Thanks!” Spencer smiled.

“You should get a job here. They are hiring new puzzle makers.” Ryan said.

“That sounds like fun!” Spencer replied excitedly.

“You’ve already got a job agent Reid.” Morgan reminded him from a few feet behind where he JJ and Garcia were watching the interaction. It was weird to see Spencer interact with someone his own age. They were so used to seeing him acting like an adult it was nice to see him acting his age.

“Right. I forgot.” Spencer blushed.

“Well, here’s my number. If you ever change your mind give me a call.” Ryan said with a wink. He slid a piece of paper towards Spencer before disappearing to help another guest.

“He was nice.” Spencer commented as he walked back to his friends. Said friends were all struggling to hold back their laughter.

“Awww I think he was flirting with you wonder boy.” Garcia cooed.

“He was?” Spencer said. That idea had not even occurred to him.

“Oh come on you had to have noticed.” Morgan teased.

“Leave him alone you two.” JJ came to Spencer’s rescue. “We need to get going for part two of Spencer’s birthday.”

“No! Not part two yet! We still have part 1.5” Garcia corrected.

“What’s that?” Reid asked.

“We are going to stop by the DMV, and you are going to get your license.”

\---

“How does this look?” Prentiss asked.

“Good.” Hotch replied after scanning the birthday banner that she had just hung up and down. “Now we just need Jason to come with the present and we will be done.”

Like everything in his life, Hotch took his job as party planner extremely seriously. He had created a check list of everything that needed to be done and was looking over it one last time.

The arrival of Gideon was alerted by the loud barking of Walt. Hotch had to admit that he sort of liked the idea of having a guard dog. He just hoped it wouldn’t attack anyone who wasn’t an intruder. He didn’t need a lawsuit on his hands.

“I thought you were allergic to dogs?” Gideon asked as he entered the living room, a couple of bags in his hands.

“I am.” Hotch nodded. “I picked up some allergy medicine. I should be fine.” He waited for Jason to make some sort of comment about how he was in too deep but none came.

“Where is the present?” Hotch asked.

“It’s in the garage. I’ve got a few others from the rest of the team as well.” The older agent said, setting the festive bags down on the couch.

“Alright. I think we’ve got everything ready. Now we just need to wait for them to arrive.” Aaron said. He walked over to the small bar he had in the kitchen and grabbed a couple glasses. “Want a drink?” He asked Gideon though he already knew the answer was yes.

“You need to be careful Aaron.” Jason said as he accepted the glass of red wine.

“With what?”

“With Spencer.”

Hotch sighed. He knew exactly what the man meant. Now that he was 18 there were no legal issues keeping Aaron and Reid apart. But there were several other issues. Hotch hadn’t decided what he was going to do yet. He wanted more than anything to make a move, to just swoop in and give Spencer a real first kiss. But he couldn’t. He needed more time to think.

“I know.” Hotch nodded. “I just…” He was interrupted by their security system known as Walt barking loudly but happily. That meant only one thing.

Spencer was back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've got a little bit more fluff left!! Thanks for all your comments!! I love reading them!!❤️


	24. Chapter 24

“What is it?” Spencer asked, after Morgan handed him a small box. It was messily wrapped in blue paper and had ‘to Pretty Boy, from Morgan and Garcia’ written on the top.

“Why don’t you open it genius?” Derrek asked through a mouthful of cake.

Spencer rolled his eyes and began doing just that. He had already received a set of Italian books from Prentiss and a Caltech sweatshirt from JJ. He hadn’t expected to receive any gift and had never felt more grateful to be part of the team.

“It’s a…” Spencer said before pulling off the paper to reveal a white box. “…what is it?” He asked, tilting his head and looking at Garcia and Morgan.

“It’s a phone!” Garcia said excitedly quickly taking the box from him and pulling out the device.

“A phone? Like an electronic phone?”

“Yeah! I’ve already set it up for you and added some new apps and technology of my own so it will be even better than normal!” Penelope said, unlocking the phone and showing the teen. “And I know you’re a technophobe, but I will teach you everything you need to know don’t you worry sugar!”

“T-thanks!” Spencer said, smiling up at the two agents. He had never really felt the need to get a phone, much less a fancy digital one like he had just received but was grateful none the less. It meant not only that they wanted to do something nice for him but also that they wanted to be able to contact him. It meant they enjoyed his company. It meant they were friends.

“Alright. Ready for the last gift?” Aaron asked. He was seated on the couch with Walt sitting on his lap. The dog was really too big to be on top of people but apparently no one had told Walt that because he had taken a liking to jumping up on top of Hotch anytime the man sat down.

“Yup!” Spencer smiled.

“This one is from everybody.” The unit chief said, gently nudging the dog off his lap and standing up.

“He’s lying. It’s from him.” Gideon said, standing as well.

“It’s from everybody.” Hotch said again. “Everyone pitched in and Jason was the one who picked it up.”

“Yes, but it was your idea and you payed the most.” Prentiss said with a small laugh.

Everyone was on their feet at this point. “Where are we going?” Spencer asked, standing as well.

“The garage.” Aaron said, leading the group through the house.

“But what’s in the garage?” Reid tried again. He didn’t like surprises. They made him nervous.

“Come here.” Hotch said, stopping before the door to the garage and motioning for Spencer to walk towards him. Reid did as he was told taking a few steps forward. Aaron gently moved Spencer in front of him and carefully placed his large hands over the agent’s big brown eyes. “Keep your eyes closed.” He said before opening the door and guiding the teen as well as the rest of the group through the door.

“Can I open them now?” Spencer asked once they finally came to a stop.

“Yes.” The unit chief said eventually. He pulled his hands away and couldn’t help but smile when he saw the youngest agent’s jaw drop.

“H-Hotch. You didn’t.” He said in a low whisper.

“Do you like it?” Hotch didn’t often get nervous but he felt his palms begin to sweat a bit as he waited for a reaction from the teen.

“Aaron… you got me a car?!” Spencer said, shouting the last part in excitement.

“We all got it.” The man said sheepishly.

“No. He got it.” Morgan said, smiling. “That’s why we got your license earlier today.”

“You mean I can drive it?!” Reid’s eyes grew even wider.

“What else would you do with it?” Gideon laughed.

“Here.” Aaron said holding his hand out with a key to the pale blue Volvo for the teen to take. “Why don’t you and Morgan go for a ride?”

“Really!?”

“Yes.” Aaron chuckled again. He had been worried that Spencer wouldn’t like the car or that he was overstepping but the excitement on the boy’s face made everything worth it.

\---

“Did you have a good birthday?” Hotch asked hours later after everyone had gone. He was attempting to get some paperwork done but kept getting distracted.

“Yeah! It was great.” Spencer smiled. His face then fell back into a frown as he focused all his concentration on typing something into his phone.

“What are you up to?”

“I’m trying to add this guy’s number from the escape room to my phone, but I can’t figure out how to add a contact.” Spencer scrunched his nose in concentration which Hotch would have found adorable if it weren’t for the fact that his Spencer had met a boy. Not his Spencer. Spencer wasn’t his.

“Oh.” Hotch said shortly.

“Is that okay?” Spencer asked, looking up from the screen.

“Is what okay?”

“I don’t know. That I’m talking to someone.” Spencer said, now looking at his feet.

“Oh course. You may talk to whomever you like.” The man said as he continued to pretend to do his work.

“I’m 18 now.” Reid said, standing up from where he had been on the couch and walking over to the table where the man was seated.

“I am aware.” Hotch said, almost amused but still a bit jealous by the fact Spencer was talking to someone else. Not that he had any right to be. Spencer could talk to whoever he wanted to.

“So I’m an adult.”

“I know.” Hotch said. Spencer had a determined look on his face. It wasn’t often that he gathered enough confidence to truly speak his mind, but he clearly made up his mind that he was going to say something. Hotch had a feeling that he knew what it was.

“Hotch I’ve been waiting to tell you something and I think you know what it is.” Spencer said.

Hotch nodded. He wasn’t going to pretend like he was oblivious. He had been the one waiting for Spencer to make the first move.

“H-Hotch I…” Spencer started but it was like all his confidence from before drained from him at the simple action of making eye contact with the older man. He played with the hem of his shirt. He could do this. He needed to do this. Spencer took one last deep breath before blurting out

“I’m in love with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always please Lmk what you think!! Thanks for reading!!


	25. Chapter 25

“Hotch?”

The unit chief snapped his head around to see who had just entered his office. “Y-yes?” He asked, clearly startled which was not normal for the experienced agent.

“You have been staring out the window of your office for the last 20 minutes. In addition to that, Spencer has yet to arrive at work.” Giedion said, walking into the large office. “Did something happen after his party yesterday?”

“What? No. He just wanted to drive himself to work in his new car.” Aaron replied, his voice clearly strained.

“And you let him? He may have passed his test but from what I’ve heard he’s not the best driver.”

“Yeah. Sort of. We didn’t really talk this morning. He left me a note saying he was going to take Walt for a walk then drive himself to work.” Hotch said. He continued to keep his careful watch on the elevator practically willing them to open and for the youngest agent to walk out.

“You didn’t talk at all this morning?” Gideon pried further. That seemed unusual to him. And it was. Hotch and Spencer always had breakfast together. Hotch had insisted that it was the most important meal of the day.

“Well we…” Hotch trailed off when he saw Reid walk into the bullpen and collapse at his desk. The kid looked terrible. His eyes were red and Hotch wasn’t sure if it was from crying or from not getting enough sleep. The sweater he wore appeared to be inside out and his glasses were crooked on his face.

“Aaron, explain. Now.” Jason said, leaving no room for negotiation. If Morgan was Spencer’s brother, the Jason was like his father.

“Last night he told me he was in love with me.” Hotch said. He rested his forehead in his hands and rubbed circles into it as if to keep back an inevitable headache.

“And…”

“And I told him that he was just confused. I told him I didn’t love him romantically and that it was both unprofessional and inappropriate to say otherwise.” Aaron sighed.

“You rejected him” Jason said.

“What else could I do?!” Hotch had been feeling frustrated and angry ever since Spencer had run out of the room crying last night.

“You could have told him the truth-”

“If I had told him the truth you would be telling me to back off of him. You would be saying that it was inappropriate. Which it is!” Hotch snapped back.

“I’m not going to say that it is the ideal scenario considering your age difference but look at him.” Gideon motioned out the window. “He looks like he’s about to break down.”

“I know. I know.”

“We’ll what are you doing to do?”

“That, I don’t know.” Hotch replied.

Their conversation was cut off by JJ walking in. “Sorry to interrupt but we have a new case. A couple was murdered after their Super Bowl party in Atlanta. We think there are two unsubs, and it is a religion driven murder.”

“Get everyone in the briefing room. I’ll be there in a second.” Hotch nodded, standing up.

“Talk to him Aaron.” Was all the older agent said before walking out of the office.

It turned out talking to Spencer was easier said than done. The teen specifically sat as far away from his boss as he could on the jet ride to Georgia. Once they landed, he had volunteered to go with Morgan and Gideon to the crime scene instead of going to the police offices with Hotch like he typically did. On top of that, when they finally arrived at the hotel after a long day of profiling, he had announced that he would be rooming with Morgan because they were going to watch the last Harry Potter movie or something. Hotch knew that he was just trying to avoid him. And honestly, he couldn’t blame him. He had turned the kid down. The kid who had already been through so much. He let himself be vulnerable and opened up his heart and Hotch stepped on it.

Spencer himself couldn’t believe how stupid he had been. How could he think that he had any chance with the older agent? He was the perfect example of a man and Spencer…Spencer was just a kid. A kid with a messed-up past.

That night after Spencer had called Garcia back in Quantico to make sure that Walt was doing alright (the analysist had agreed to watch him while they were on cases) Spencer collapsed on his bed in exhaustion. He had gotten nearly no sleep last night because he had been so upset.

“You alright kid?” Morgan asked as he came out of the bathroom after taking a shower. He had noticed that Spencer was acting strange but had yet to figure out why.

“Have you ever been in love Morgan?” He blurted out.

“Have I…yeah. I have.” Derrek was a bit taken aback by the question but answer honestly. “There was a girl back in Chicago that I fell in love with. I haven’t seen her in years after we both went to college, but I was in love with her. Why?”

“We’re you ever rejected.”

“No” Morgan chuckled.

“Oh. Never mind.” Spencer replied, turning red.

“I’m just kidding Reid. What’s going on? Tell me everything.”

Reid contemplated whether he should tell the man what was happening. He suspected he already knew bits and pieces of it but could he trust him with the whole story?

“I’m in love with someone but I work with them and they’re older than me and they don’t like me back.” He sighed out eventually.

“I’m flattered pretty boy but I only like the ladies.” Morgan replied.

“Not you!” Spencer laughed, finally pulling himself into a sitting position. “Hotch.”

  
“I knew you had a crush on him but are you sure you really love him?” Morgan asked after a moment.

“Yes. But he told me he didn’t want to be with me.” The teen said sadly. After the long day of trying to pretend that he was fine, he finally felt the flood gates break. Tears began flooding down his face rapidly as he collapsed into sobs.

“Ok ok it’s alright baby boy.” Morgan said, moving to sit next to him and pulling him into a hug. It felt different from the hugs Hotch had given Spencer, but he still liked the feeling. He felt safe. “It’s alright kid. These things happen. And I’m not going to pretend that I think it’s a good idea for you to date someone as old as Hotch, but it sucks being rejected.” The older man said, rubbing comforting circles into Spencer’s back.

“I-I know. I just h-hate this feeling.” Spencer sniffled, sing the sleeve of his long sweater to wipe at his tears.

“It’s going to be okay. You can even come live with me if you would prefer. We will solve this case and be back home in no time.”

Boy had he been wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter!! Sometimes things have to get worse before they can get better...


	26. Chapter 26

“What if it’s three unsubs two dominants and one submissive? It’s not uncommon for-”

“That’s wrong.” Spencer interrupted his boss in front of everyone in the police station. He knew he shouldn’t be taking out his frustration on Hotch himself, but he couldn’t help it. He had been lashing out at the man for the last few days on the case of the biblical driven killer. Hotch, to his credit had yet to snap back at the teen. He was able to keep his cool, but his patients were beginning to grow thin.

“Reid, we need to entertain the possibility that-”

“Why? You are clearly wrong! Look at all the evidence! It points to two unsubs at the most!” Spencer shouted back. Everyone in the station was now watching them intently. Lower-level agents never spoke to their superiors the way that Spencer was talking to Hotch. People had been fired for much less.

“Lower your voice!” Hotch said, though he was shouting as well.

“Stop telling me what to do!”

If everyone had been watching them before, it felt like the whole city was staring at them now. The station was quiet. Not even Morgan who, could typically break the ice, knew what to say.

“Follow me Dr. Reid.” Aaron said so soft and old that Spencer hardly recognized his voice. He had messed up. He knew that. And now he was going to have to pay for it. Images of all the times he had been punished by James ran through his head. Hotch wouldn’t hit him though. Right?

Spencer followed the older man out of the main room and into his office. His head was down and all his confidence and anger from moments before had dissolved. Hotch closed the door and lowered the blinds. Spencer suspected the worst.

“I am your superior and boss. You cannot talk to me that way.” Hotch started. He wasn’t yelling this time, but his voice was stern and sharp. Every word was deliberate. “There are different methods to disagree with people without yelling. Your behavior has been terrible all day-”

“My behavior? I’m not a child!” Spencer shouted, beginning to get worked up again.

“Yes you are! You are 18 years old! You are child!” Hotch yelled back.

“Well, I have a higher IQ than you.” Spencer replied. He had been trying to make a point, but his retort did the opposite as it was absolutely a childish thing to say.

“Very mature Spencer.” Aaron rolled his eyes, a very un-Aaron-like thing to do but he was upset. Upset and frustrated and just mad at the world. “This is exactly why we could never be together! You are a kid. I am an adult. I could never be in a relationship with someone like you.” He spat out without really thinking.

The silence that filled the office was deafening.

Someone like him. Hotch could never love someone like him. Little did Aaron know that those were the exact word James had always said to him.

_“No one could ever love someone like you!”_

_“I would be better off without people like you!”_

Those had been reoccurring statements that James had shouted while hitting Spencer. While touching Spencer. The teen had never been quite sure what he meant. But apparently his foster father had been right about something. Hotch couldn’t love someone like him either.

Hotch knew he messed up the second he moment the words left his mouth. Spencer was never this quiet. More importantly he never had that fear in his eyes when he looked at Hotch.

“Spencer I’m…” Hotch started to apologize. He took a step forward but immediately stopped when Spencer flinched, throwing his hand up over his head as if attempting to protect himself.

“I-I’m sorry sir!” Spencer said quickly as if it were a conditioned response. Hotch’s heart broke when he realized it probably was.

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that and I should have yelled.” Aaron said, still remaining several feet away though he wanted nothing more than to pull the teen into a tight hug and never let him go. Spencer did not speak. He kept his head down, not making eye contact, waiting for Hotch to do something.

“I wouldn’t hit you.” Hotch tried again. He just wanted Spencer to say something. Anything. He didn’t care if he was angry and yelled, he just needed to know he wasn’t afraid to speak in front of him.

Unfortunately, the older man was still met with silence.

“Why don’t you and JJ go check out that witness and interview him. See if he can tell you anything about the case.” Aaron said. He knew he should keep trying to get Spencer to talk so they could move on but he just couldn’t stand to look at those sad eyes anymore. He needed to be away from the boy before he did something he’d regret. Like tell him he loved him.

“Yes sir.” Reid finally spoke up. His voice was softer than usual. He turned to leave the office but Hotch stopped him.

“Spencer…”

“Yes sir?” He asked, turning face the man.

This was his chance. Tell Spencer you love him. Tell him you love people like him. More specifically you love him. “Never mind.” He said eventually. He would have plenty of time to confess his feelings. The kid would be back in an hour or two and by then they would both have calmed down enough to have a mature conversation. Because Spencer really wasn’t the kid Hotch accused him to be. He was smart, responsible and kind. He wasn’t just some kid.

“W-what’s the n-name of the guy w-we are talking too?” Spencer stuttered out and once again Hotch cursed himself for being the reason the boy was so nervous.

He looked down at the file that was on the desk in front of him.

“His name is Hankel. Tobias Hankel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!! LMK what you think!!


	27. Chapter 27

“You’ve been awfully quiet Spence. Is something up?” JJ asked as she drove her and the teen to the Hankel residence to question their witness.

“I’m fine.” Spencer mumbled. He had out his phone which was odd because he only ever used it when he had too. He was tying away at his calculator as fast as he could but as far as JJ could see, he wasn’t actually trying to solve anything.

“What are you doing?” She asked.

“Math.” Was all he offered. He didn’t want to have to explain himself. Math calmed him down when he was sad or upset. Math was always the same no matter how his life around him changed. He could rely on math.

They said nothing for the rest of the drive. They finally arrived at the small farmhouse after about 30 minutes.

“This is in the middle of nowhere.” JJ said as she stepped out of the car and onto the muddy dirt road.

“I need to use the bathroom.” Spencer said shyly. He had been thinking that for a while now but had hoped he would be able to hold it in.

“I’m sure Mr. Hankel will let you use his.” The blonde smiled as they walked up the stairs and knocked on the door.

After several seconds a nervous looking man in his late twenties pulled the door open. He had a straggly beard and seemed as though he wasn’t used to visitors. “C-can I help you two?” He asked, scanning the two agents up and down.

“I’m agent Jennifer Jareau and this is agent Spencer Reid. We would like to ask you a few questions if that’s okay.”

“N-no. That’s not alright. I’m not allowed to let people in the house. It’s my daddy’s rules.” He said in a southern accent.

“We just have a few questions about something you saw? A burglary?” JJ pried further.

“No, that wasn’t me. It wasn’t me.”

“Could I maybe use your bathroom? I need to…go.” Spencer said with a sheepish smile.

“No. I’m sorry. You both need to leave.” Was all he said before closing the door and locking it with a click.

“That was weird” JJ said as she began to walk to the SUV. She noticed that Spencer wasn’t with her and turned around to see him still standing near the door. He appeared to be deep in thought.

“Spence?” She asked, attempting to get his attention.

“Why would he call unless…to gage the response time…” He mumbled to himself before quickly turning to the other agent. “He’s the unsub!”

As if on cue, the sound of a back door opening, and closing rang though the night. “Come on! We need to follow him!” Spencer said, running off into the darkness, pulling out his gun as he ran.

“We should call for backup” JJ said though she followed him closely behind.

“No cell service. Besides, we can do this.” He said. They made it to the open door of the barn and crouched down in the darkness. “You stay here, and I’ll go around the other side. We can wait him out.”

“Spencer are you sure it’s a good idea to-” she started but the teen had already run off. “…split up.”

Spencer himself ran as quickly as his little leg would carry him around the back of the barn. Unfortunately, his plan to trap the man inside was foiled because the back door was wide open. He did notice a trail of muddy footprints heading into the corn field. Without a thought to his own safety he followed the steps into the tall crops. He began to hear voices. They were all coming from the same place, almost as though someone were acting out different parts in a play. They were arguing with each other. He recognized one voice to be that of Tobias.

\---

The rest of the team attempted to hold back their repulsion as they watched the latest victim of their unsub get torn apart by dogs. She was just a young woman. And now she was gone.

“You can turn it off.” Hotch said to Garcia after it was clear the woman was dead. He knew they should watch the whole thing and look for more clues, but he couldn’t handle it right now. His mind was still else were, namely with Spencer. He felt terrible for what he had said. How had he managed to hurt someone he loved so much?

“Wait.” One of the officers stopped the blonde woman from turning off the display. “I know that dog.” He said, realization dawning on him.

“You sure?” Gideon asked.

“Yeah. He bit someone a couple months ago. I would have had them taken away but the victim knew the owner. Didn’t press charges.”

“Who do they belong to?” Hotch asked. He and the team were already on their feet and gathering their things, reading to go get the unsub.

“They live up at the Hankel ranch.” The cop said.

“Hankel?” Hotch repeated. His blood ran cold and he felt like his breath had been clean knocked out of him. It couldn’t be. There had to be someone else. There was no way… “As in Tobias Hankel?” H asked.

“Yeah! That’s the one?” the man nodded.

“What wrong man? We got our guy” Morgan said, pulling on his jacket and getting ready to leave the station.

“Morgan its…” Hotch started. He couldn’t even say it. He was typically good at disassociating from cases and focusing on logic rather than emotion, but this was different. This was Spencer.

“Come on Hotch. What’s going on?” Morgan asked, worried about the unit chief. He never froze up like this. He was the one to take charge in situations.

“It’s Spencer. He’s with Hankel.” Hotch replied softly.

He needed to help. He needed to save Spencer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! LMK what you think!!


	28. Chapter 28

Spencer’s first thoughts as his eyes fluttered open was that he was cold. He had always been the one to wear long sleeves on a warm day, he was from Vegas after all. Now he felt shivers running though his body both from the chill and the fear.

He didn’t remember exactly what happened and suspected that had to go with the hard throbbing in the back of his head. He did remember splitting up with JJ, going to find the unsub, and fighting with Hotch. Even in his current situation the argument with his boss was still probably the worst part of his day.

“You’re up boy.” Cam the voice of someone though the body that Spencer recognized to be Tobias. He had come to the conclusion that he had split personalities. One was Tobias himself who had been the one reluctant to kill. The other was Rafael whom they had hear make the 911 calls before the murders. The last he had yet to discover. That was the one speaking now.

“W-where a-am I?” Spencer asked. He attempted to sound as strong as he could but knew he had failed in that goal.

“You talkin’ back to me?” The man asked, whirling around in a sudden burst of anger. It reminded Spencer of James and all the times he had taken his frustrations out on him. Perhaps this was Tobias’s father.

“N-no sir.” Spencer replied, looking down. He may not know what was going on but he sure knew how to handle an abuser. He had had lots of practice. He found it was easiest to just give them what they wanted, power.

“You are a sinner. You’ve been a bad boy.” The man said, taking several steps closer.

“I’m not a sinner.” Spencer replied.

“Stop lying boy!” The man was now furious. His eyes glowed red with anger. He crouched down and roughly grabbed Spencer’s foot, yanking off the teen’s tired convers and his stripped red and green socks.

“I’m n-not lying.” He whimpered. He knew what was coming. He should have been prepared for the pain that came when the man speaking though Tobias brought a piece of wood down on the center of his foot, but he wasn’t. He threw his head back in a cry of pain, scrunching his eyes closed. “I’m sorry!!” He screamed out, knowing it wouldn’t help.

“Then. Stop. Lying!” He said, kitting the boy’s small foot with every word.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I-I’m sorry!” He repeated over and over again to deaf ears.

After several excruciating moments the man let go of his foot. He then took the piece of wood and hit Spencer once across the face, causing a gash to appear on his cheek. “The word would be better without people like you.” He said before striking Reid one last time and exiting the shed.

People like him. There that was again.

“P-people like m-m-me.” Spencer whimpered to himself.

\--

“What do we know Garcia?” Hotch said. He had been pacing back and forth through the Hankel house that they had taken as their new headquarters. He was trying to do everything at once and, due to this along with his panic, resulted in him getting absolutely nothing done.

“I have nothing sir.” The tech analyst said as she frantically typed away at her keyboard. “He had everything programed to change routers, so I don’t have anything useful.”

“Well try harder!” He snapped at her. He knew she was doing her best, but he couldn’t help it. He kept replaying the cruel words he had said to Spencer over and over again in his head. What if that was the last thing, he ever said to him? What it he died thinking that Hotch hated him. When Spencer had confessed his love, he had given the man a perfect opportunity to admit that the feeling was mutual. He was going to regret that till the end of his life.

“Hotch man we are doing our best.” Morgan said. He was also in the large room filled with computers and was flipping through different folders of writing.

“I know I know.” Aaron said, running a tired hand through his hair. He couldn’t take this out on his team. It wasn’t their fault. 

“What if we-” Morgan started but was cut off by Garcia.

“I’ve got something! But it’s almost like someone sent me a video, or a stream…” She said cautiously. She was somewhat worried that it could be a virus or something sent from the unsub.

“Open it.” Hotch said, immediately appearing by her side.

“What if it’s-”

“Open it Garcia.” Aaron said again, more sternly this time.

She did just that. There was one finally second of relative peace before she let out a gasp.   
  


“What?” Morgan said, quickly rushing over to see what she and Hotch were staring at. “Oh my god.” He breathed out at the sight before them. It was a live stream of their resident genius. He was tied to a wooden chair and had several bloody gashes on his face. There was another area covered in blood on the side of his head and one of his shoes was removed. He foot was quickly turning purple with bruises.

Hotch’s face was stone. It was cold. It was sharp. It was ready to kill. He was going to kill Hankel. No one was allowed to touch Spencer. No one was allowed to hurt him.

“This is what happens to sinners.” A deep voice spoke from behind the camera. “Sinners must be punished.”

  
“That son of a bitch!” Morgan shouted out though he knew the unsub couldn’t hear him.

“All sinners must die.” Came the voice again before their video stream cut out and they were left with nothing all over again.

Well, not completely nothing. Now Hotch had the image of the love of his life’s beaten and bruised body scarred into his mind forever.

And it was all his fault. He had sent Spencer to the house. He had yelled at the teen. He was the reason Spencer might die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things are going down hill very quickly😂   
> Lmk what you think!!!


	29. Chapter 29

The second time Spencer woke up it was to the sound of something sizzling. He strained his neck to see what was going on and saw his kidnapper stirring what looked like animal guts over a skillet on a fire. The smell was absolutely repulsive and had Spencer had any food in his stomach, he was sure he would have thrown it up.

“You’re up.” Tobias (or one of his personalities) spoke, looking over at the teen tied to the chair. Spencer remained silent. He wasn’t exactly sure who he was talking to yet. “No need to look so afraid. I won’t hurt ya.”

“T-Tobias?” Spencer asked softly.

“That’s me.” The man nodded. His voice sounded almost kind which was strange considering the situation. He walked over to Spencer holding a glass of water.

“W-who was i-in here before?” The teen asked. Hankel brought the drink to Spencer’s lips and let him drink. Reid knew he probably shouldn’t trust the drink given to him by his captor, but he didn’t care. He was too thirsty.

“Probably by father.” Tobias said, pulling away the now empty glass. “I hope he didn’t hurt you too bad.” He reached up and wiped a drip of blood of Spencer’s cheek. He looked almost sad.

“Does he h-hurt you?” Spencer asked. The more he found out about each personality, the better he could profile them and maybe escape.

Hankel only nodded. “I’ll make it better though.” He said. He then reached of his belt and began to undo it. Spencer immediately assumed the worst. In the past, James removing his belt had meant one of who things; he was going to whip him with it or…Spencer didn’t like to think about the other thing.

Surprisingly, Tobias didn’t hit him or remove any other layers of clothes. Instead, he crouched down next to the teen and looped the belt around his arm before pulling it tight. What was he doing? It became clear to Reid what was going to happen when the man pulled out a syringe and small vile of liquid.

“This will help.” Hankel said kindly, lining up the device with the Reid’s small arm.

“N-no please! I don’t w-want it.” He said, struggling the best he could. He knew rationally it was best to stay still so the shot would not do any internal damage, but he couldn’t help it. The second the drugs were released into his system he both felt better and worse. Better because the pain he had been experiencing dulled down quite a bit. Worse because he like the floaty feeling he was experiencing. He liked it a lot.

That was the last thing he thought before he floated into darkness.

\----

“Get it back up again Garcia!” Hotch demanded. They had lost the stream of Spencer nearly an hour ago and had not been able to get it back no matter how hard they tried.

“I’m doing my best sir! I don’t think I can find it unless he wants us too though.” She spoke.

“Aaron.” Came the voice of Gideon who was been standing in the doorway watching for God knows how long. “Come with me.”

Hotch had crossed the room in seconds. “What is it? Did you find something?” He asked. Jason didn’t speak he just led the older agent out of the house and into the deck. He leaned against the wooden rail that surrounded the deck before finally speaking.

“You need to take a break.”

“A break?!” Hotch narrowed his eyes, angry that the older man had lured him away from the case for no reason.

“Yes, a break. You need to clear your head. Yelling at Garcia isn’t going to help find the kid.” Gideon replied.

“I know but…I know.” He said, starting out with anger in his voice but letting it fade to resignation. “I just can’t lose him.” Hotch wasn’t an emotional guy. He thought with his brain and put work above anything else. But here he was, close to tears on a random porch in Georgia, because a teenager he had known for three months had been taken.

“We will find him.” Gideon said confidently. “We always catch the unsubs.”

“But we don’t always save the victims.” Hotch replied sending them both into a moment of silence reflecting on the cases that haut them most.

“I love him.” Hotch said eventually. It was less of a confession to his friend and more to himself. He hadn’t truly let himself admit it, but he knew it was true. “I love Spencer.”

“I know. And we will save him.” Jason said, placing a reassuring hand on Aaron’s shoulder.

“Hey guys?” Prentiss said, popping her head out the door. She wore a grim look which could not mean anything good. “The live stream is back.”

\--

“You must choose one to die.” Rafael said, pacing back and forth in front of the camera. Spencer assumed the feed was going to go to his team and did his best to look brave. He knew he was failing though. He couldn’t even keep his hands from shaking.

“N-no.” Reid said.

“Wrong answer.” The older man chuckled. He took the silver gun out of the holder on his belt and emptied all but one bullet out of it. “We will let God decide your fate.” He said, spilling the revolver around so neither he nor Reid knew when the gun would fire.

“Choose one to die.” He said, aiming the gun at Spencer’s temple.

Mathematically Spencer knew he had a decent chance of surviving at least the first two or three shots. “No.” He repeated again.

Rafael pulled the trigger and Spencer closed his eyes. Luckily there was no loud boom so he assumed he was either safe or dead.

“Choose.”

Spencer was not dead. His chances of getting another blank were even slimmer now. Should he do it?

“I-I’ll choose who l-lives.” He said after a moment. He knew it would have the same result, but he would rather choose to save a life rather than choose to end one. He pointed to a screen that showed a woman walking around a kitchen.

“Very well.” The man said. He grabbed another gun and his keys before walking out of the barn to inevitably kill one of the people Spencer had not picked.

The teen did his best to hold back tears. He really did. But he couldn’t help it. He had basically just inadvertently killed someone. Someone innocent. Not an unsub. A normal citizen would be dead in the next hour all because of him.

Spencer silently sobbed, looking everywhere but at the still rolling camera. He didn’t want them to see his tears. They were all so strong. None of them were weak and cried like him.

Little did he know that back at the Hankel house there was not a dry eye in the room as they watched their friend cry out into the night with no way to help him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! LMK what you think!!


	30. Chapter 30

“He’s going to blame himself.” Hotch said as he looked around the blood splattered room. Hankel had just killed his latest victim. The team had done their best to race to the house the second they had received the 911 call, but they had not been fast enough.

“He’s strong.” Gideon said, more trying to convince Aaron than actually believing what he said. His friend was holding himself together the best he could, but Jason could see him slowly falling apart.

“He’s so young.” Hotch replied.

Gideon was going to say something else, but he noticed a computer opened on a desk in the kitchen they were in. He remembered there had been live streams displayed in their surveillance of the young agent. There was a chance he was able to see them.

The oldest agent walked over to the screen and crouched down so he was at eye level. “Reid, this is not your fault. This is Hankel’s fault. He is perverting religion to justify murder. We are going to get you out of there.” He spoke, clear and precise, hoping to send hope to the teen before closing the computer shut.

He straightened up and turned back to the unit chief. “We will save him.”

Aaron only nodded. He didn’t know what else he could do.

\--

“This is not your fault.” Spencer heard the agent say through one of the many screens in front of him. It made him feel better than worse. They knew he had chosen someone to die. He had practically killed an innocent person. And his whole team knew it.

“It has been done.” Charles, no, Rafael spoke as he made his way back into the shed.

“P-please don’t kill anyone else.” Spencer pleaded.

Rafael ignored him and instead walked over to the computers. He began typing away, preparing to post the latest video of his murder. Reid felt sick having to watch the couple being killed all over again. Eventually it got to the part where Gideon spoke directly to him. With every word the man spoke Rafael appeared to grow more and more angry.

“You think this is a joke boy!”

Great. Not Charles was back. Charles was the worst. He was the one who caused the most physical pain. Although he supposed it was better, he be beaten than another person be killed.

“P-please don’t.”

Charles only sneered. He was about to speak again when he looked down at Reid and saw his arm. More importantly he saw the red marks from the shots of dilaudid. He grabbed the arm and pushed his sleeve up farther. “You’re just a fucking druggy like by disappointment of a son.”

“P-please!” Spencer cried out, not even sure what he was asking for at this point.

Charles ignored him. He pulled his arm back and punch the teen across the face, hard. “Confess!” he shouted out.

“I haven’t d-done anything” Reid said. He was not sobbing. He couldn’t take it anymore.

“You’re lying!” He shouted out, hitting the boy over and over again, ignoring the new blood and bruises appearing on his face.

“I’m n-not lying!” Spencer said. He caved over on himself partially from pain and part in hope he could dodge the next punch, which he couldn’t.

Charles grabbed him by the hair roughly pulling him backwards, so his chair was only on two legs. Spencer tried to stable himself but his feet, with only one striped sock left, hung uselessly above the floor.

“Confess!”

Spencer couldn’t speak. He couldn’t move. He had never been so filled with complete and utter fear in his entire life. Charles let go of the chair sending the teen flat on his back, head hitting the ground roughly.

Spencer couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t control his body. He began flailing around attempting to force air into his lungs but still retrained by the ropes on the chair. The smart part of his brain told him it was a force induced seizure. The rest of his brain told him he was dying.

But he couldn’t be dying. He was going to make it. Gideon had told him so. And he had to see Hotch again. He needed to apologize for their fight. He needed air!

Despite beginning suffocated and slowly feeling his world turn black he managed to sputter out “H-Hotch!” In one last attempt to get help. He began to feel light. Not dilaudid light but still like he was floating. He was dying. This was it. At least his last word had been something meaningful. It was the name of the man he loved.

With that though, he allowed himself to fall into darkness, an almost smile on his face.

\--

“No!” Garcia cried out, covering her mouth with her hand. It was only her and Gideon in the small computer room at the moment watch the live stream. The stream where they had just watched their friend and teammate die.

Neither moved. Jason’s eyes were glued to the screen, looking but not seeing. He was the one who recruited the kid for the team. He should have known 18 was too young to be in the FBI. But it was too late now.

“I-Is there a chance-” Garcia started to ask, clinging to any hope possible.

“No.” Gideon interrupted. He had been a profiler long enough to know what it looked like when life left someone’s eyes. At this moment, the kid was dead. And it was very unlikely they would be able to find him in time to revive him.

“I’ll tell the team.” Gideon said, standing up stiffly. He would let Morgan come to comfort the tech analyst who was sobbing at the desk. The older man wasn’t great at feelings. He was too focused on his own at the moment.

“Did you find anything?” Prentiss asked, causing everyone else to look up as well when he entered the main room.

“What’s wrong Jason?” Hotch said. He was the first to notice that something was off. Even in his current state, Aaron was still a damn good profiler.

“He…” He started but he couldn’t say it. Speaking it out would mean admitting it was true.

“What happened?” It was Morgan who asked this time.

“Reid…” Gideon scratch his chin, one of his tells that something was up before say the words everyone feared most. “Reid is dead.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!!!!


	31. Chapter 31

He was dead. He knew that already. He had seen the light and walked towards it. There he had been greeted by many people he once loved and had lost. He was in the afterlife, whatever it was. So why was he in so much pain? Why was his head throbbing from the multiple hits he had taken to it? Why could he still smell the burning animal intestines?

Reid slowly opened his eyes and realized he needed air. He quickly opened his mouth and gasped, filling his body with oxygen. Above him he heard someone let out a sigh of relief. Tobias. At least he assumed it was Tobias. Neither Charles nor Rafael would give him CPR.

“You’re alive.” The man said in his smooth southern accent.

“You s-saved me.” Spencer replied shakily, still not quite believing it himself.

“I-” Tobias started but then something in his face shifted. His mouth twitched and his face hardened. He wasn’t Tobias anymore. He wasn’t Charles either. He was the worst out of the three. He was Rafael. And he was going to make Reid choose yet again.

“The time has come.” Rafael said in his deep and somber tone. He grabbed Spencer by the hair and pulled him back to his chair, ignoring the yelp of pain he let out.

“P-please no! D-don’t do this.” The teen said. There would have been tears on his cheeks but he long sense run out of the energy and hydration required to make tears.

“You must choose. One of the seven.”

Seven? Who was that? There were only five screens displaying people. Who were…oh no. He couldn’t mean…could he?

“M-my team?” He asked softly.

“Yes. The seven angels of revelations. Choose one.” He said, pulling out his revolver yet again and spinning it.

\---

“He can’t be dead!” Aaron yelled for the hundredth time. He was typically a man that could keep cool under pressure of pain, but this night had proven that even the strongest men can break. “I need to see him!” He shouted, trying to push past Morgan who, despite his own sorrow, was attempting to keep his boss in check.

“You need to calm down first man. You aren’t ready to see…to see it.” Morgan said, not being able to full admit himself that the teen he cared so much about was dead. He knew it was true though. Gideon was experienced. He would be able to tell for sure whenever someone breathed their last.

“It?! It? You mean my agents dead body? Spencer’s corpse!?” Hotch shouted yet again. “No one is ready to see it. But this is my fault. I need to know for sure. I need to know.” The anger he had been exhibiting was slowly beginning to fade. Not because he was calm, but more because he was so emotionally and physically drained. He would rather be angry though. If he was angry then he didn’t have time to be sad. If he was angry the team wouldn’t see him cry.

“Guys!” Garcia’s voice rang though the house in a happy sob. “Come quick!”

Hotch was able to duck past Morgan and made it into the room with all the screens.

“He’s alive! Tobias gave him CPR!” She said, face still filled with tears but some of them were of the happy variety.

“He’s…alive?” Hotch asked in barely above a whisper, not quite believing it.

“Look!” She said, making the live stream window of Spencer larger so everyone could see. Unfortunately, their joy that he was alive didn’t last long because Rafael was back and ready for his next kill.

“M-my team?” They heard Spencer ask with a heart-breaking whimper. They were all once again reminded of just how young this boy was.

“Choose.” Tobias, or technically Rafael, pulled out his gun and spun the bullet around so none of them knew when the gun would actually fine. He lined it up with the teens head and repeated, “choose.”

“Come on Reid.” Prentiss mumble to herself.

Morgan was muttering “Choose me. Choose me. Choose me.” Over and over again under his breath.

Hotch was staring at the screen blankly. His whole world had practically fallen apparent and it could shatter any second if Spencer wasn’t careful.

“No.” Spencer said defiantly. Everyone winced when the trigger was pulled. They thanked any god that would listen that the bullet had not been fired.

“Choose one to die.”

“No” Spencer said yet again.

“Come on kid.” Gideon said. Everyone’s eyes remained glued to the screen as yet another blank shot was fired. And another. The odds were not in Reid’s favor now. He needed to make a move. He needed to choose.

\---

“Life is full of decisions. You need to make one now. Choose one to die.”

Spencer new statistically speaking he did need to choose. He had calculated the speed Rafael had spun the revolver and the about of spots the bullet could be in and knew the bullet would be coming any time now and if he refused once more, he wouldn’t be making it out of here alive.

“I-I choose…” He needed a plan. He needed a message. More importantly he needed someone who would understand a message. Someone who understood him best. The choice was really and obvious one. “I choose Aaron Hotchner.”

The gun to his face was lowered a fraction of an inch. “He’s a classic narcist.” Spencer continued, his stutter fading as he lied with ease. “Thinks he better than everyone else. Genesis 23:4, “Let him not deceive himself in vanity”

A half smile appeared on Rafael’s face. He raised the gun above Spencer’s head and fired. Reid winced as the bullet flew through the wall of the barn. That almost went through his head.

“We will deal with you, then I will handle Aaron Hotchner.” Rafael said. He pulled out another bullet, put it in the gun, and spun it one last time.

All Spencer could think as he was roughly shoved across the barn and into the large cemetery was _“please understand me.”_ If Hotch hadn’t gotten his message, then Reid was most definitely a goner.

_Please Aaron. Help me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! Almost done with revelations but like always there will be a twist at the end!! LMK what you think!!


	32. Chapter 32

“I choose Aaron Hotchner.” Hotch almost broke down at those words. He was elated that Spencer had chosen someone and would not have a bullet through his own head but why had he chosen Hotch. Before his brain could get carried away, he heard the next words out of Reid’s mouth.

“He’s a classic narcist. Thinks he better than everyone else. Genesis 23:4, “Let him not deceive himself in vanity”

Narcissist? Better than everyone? That didn’t make any sense. He had many flaws but those were not them. He always put the team ahead of himself. He always put Spencer in front of himself. So why had he chosen those words?

He quickly turned and walked out of the small room and into the main room of the house. He needed to find a bible. What was the verse Spencer had recited? Genesis 23:4. There had to be some sort of message.

“Hotch man, don’t take it personally-” Morgan started. Everyone had assumed that Spencer’s words had gotten to their chief.

“No. I know. What are my biggest flaws?” Aaron said, finding the little book he was looking for and quickly flipping through the pages.

“You have a hard time listening to others.” Morgan said.

“You don’t trust women as much as you trust men.” Prentiss added.

“Exactly. I’m not perfect but I’m not a narcissist. I never put myself before the team.” Hotch said. He finally made it to the page he was looking for.

"I am a foreigner and stranger among you. Sell me some property for a burial site here so I can bury my dead.'" He read out loud.

“That’s a different verse.” Prentiss noted.

“He’s sending us a message. But what does it mean?” JJ asked.

“Burial site. Maybe we are looking for a cemetery.” Hotch said.

“There are no cemeteries in the immediate area of our calculations.” Garcia said, frantically typing away at her computer.

“How about churches? They sometimes have graveyards attached.” Gideon added.

“I’ve got an abandoned church called Marshalls. It has a grassy area next to it that could be what we are looking for?” The blond asked.

“Tobias mentioned not going back to Marshalls in his writings. That’s the place!” Morgan said.

“Let’s go.” Hotch said. They all rushed out to the SUVs.

“We are coming Spencer.” Hotch muttered to himself as he sped off towards the direction of the church. “I’ll save you. I promise.”

\---

“Follow me.” It was Charles now that was shouting at the teen.

“Please n-no.” Spencer cried out. He was slowly being dragged by his hair out of the barn. He didn’t know what was to happen once they made it to their next location, but he knew it couldn’t be good. “Tobias p-please!” He cried out when a particularly hard kick landed on his ribs, definitely breaking one of them.

“That weak boy can’t help you.” Charles yelled. He pulled Spencer to his feet again by his collar.

Reid had never been in more pain in his life, even after his beating from James. He was comforted only by the fact that he was currently in a graveyard and he had been correct about the clue he had given Hotch. He hoped and prayed that he had understood.

“We are here. The final destination.” It was not Rafael speaking. He picked up a shovel and handed it to the agent. Spencer grabbed it like a lifeline. In fact it was the only thing keeping him on his tired feet. 

“Dig.” The man spoke, pointing to the beginnings of a hole in the ground.

“D-dig?” He asked in confusion. What was he digging?

“Dig boy.” It was now Charles that hit him across the face.

Dig? Final destination? He couldn’t mean…but he did. Spencer knew by now that this man was evil. He was going to make the teen dig his own grave.

His first instinct was to refuse but he knew logically that wouldn’t work. He was too weak and injured to fight back or to escape. Plus, if Rafael was here than he wasn’t killing anyone else. Specifically, he wasn’t killing Hotch.

So, he started digging. He pulled shovel after shovel of dirt from the ground. His small body was too weak to make any significant progress in the depth of the hole, but he was doing his best, relying heavily on the shovel to hold him up.

“Dig faster!” Rafael was now getting angry with him.

“I c-can’t. I’m too weak.” Spencer replied. He tried to stay strong but there were yet again tears rolling from his hurt puppy eyes down his cheeks and onto the soil beneath him.

It was then that Spencer began to hear the tell-tale signs of a search party. He could see small flickers of flashlights and heard faint shouting of his name.

Charles whirled around when he heard the commotion too. Spencer knew what he shoes to do in the next few seconds would determine if he made it out of here alive. Now that he would surely be caught, Charles would have no need to keep Spencer alive and he had a full loaded gun along with the revolver containing only one bullet.

Spencer decided to take his chance and lunged forward, grabbing the revolver from the ground and pointing it with at Hankel’s head with shaky hands.

“There’s only one bullet in that thing.” Charles sneered, pointing his own gun at the teen.

Spencer took a breath as Hotch had taught him before squeezing the trigger, expecting the typically bang that came with firing a weapon. Unfortunately, none came. 

Charles let out a cold laugh. “Looks like god’s not on your side.” He spoke before squeezing his own trigger.

Spencer winced. The sound was louder than usual. It wasn’t until Hankel’s eyes went wide and he fell to the ground that he realized two guns had been fire at the same time. One belonging to Charles (that he assumed had been a miss) and one belonging to Hotch who was standing a few feet behind Hankel, slowly lowering his gun.

“H-Hotch!” Spencer cried out in relief. He attempted to stumbled forward but couldn’t hold himself up any longer. Luckily, the older agent had pulled him into his arms before his could fall to the ground.

“I k-knew you’d understand.” Spencer said, tears still falling down his face both from joy of seeing Aaron and from a new burning sensation in his side that he had not felt before.

The rest of the team was now present but standing a few feet back to give the two a bit of privacy.

“Spencer…” Hotch said, hand in Spencer’s messy hair, holding him to his chest. “I love you. I’m sorry.”

“I love you too.” Spencer said in barely over a whisper. He felt his strength beginning to leave him. Something wasn’t right. He had assessed his injuries and had estimated that he had another hour on his feet before he completely collapsed. So why was he in so much pain now?

Hotch felt Reid suddenly go limp. His body fell onto the unit chief’s and his eyes rolled into his head. He had passed out.

“Medic! Hotch called out. The teen had been though a lot, but he would live. He was just passed out and needed some rest. When he got Spencer out of the hole, he figured the worst injury he had would be his broken ribs. Hotch brought one of his hands that had been around Spencer’s waist up to his face to check his watch but froze. His hand was red. Covered in blood. Not just a bit of it, complete drenched. The amount of blood you would expect from a gunshot, not a beating.

That’s when Hotch froze. There had been another gun shot. Hankel had fired one just before Hotch had shot him down. But it had missed. Spencer hadn’t shown any sign of pain. But as Aaron gently laid the teen on the grass, he knew it was true. Hotch’s vison became blurry and he wasn’t sure if it was from tears or distress as the doctors swarmed the teen and began loading him on a stretcher.

“I need to go with them.” Hotch said frantically, making his way towards the ambulance.

Morgan stopped him. “We aren’t his family, so we aren’t allowed to ride with him. Let’s get to the SUVs.” He said, holding back the frantic unit chief.

“We were so close Morgan. He was almost okay.” Hotch said, as he watched the boy being hauled inside the car. If they had been a few seconds earlier than maybe Spencer would be okay.

Then maybe Spencer wouldn’t have been shot.


	33. Chapter 33

Morgan taped his foot anxiously as he stared back and forth from the door to the ER and Hotch, leaning against the wall of the waiting room. He was worried. Both for Spencer’s health and that Aaron would attempt to do something stupid. He had already threatened to sue the hospital if they didn’t give the team updates on Reid’s condition despite the fac that none of them were technically related to the teen. This had been extremely out of character for their chief. He was always the first to respect protocol. But he had been acting out of character ever since Spencer went missing. Morgan knew the two had feelings for each other. (He didn’t necessarily like the age difference, but he could deal with that later.) He hadn’t known just how strong Hotch’s feelings were until he saw him shed a tear when they had been told Spencer was dead. In all his years working with the man, Morgan had never seen him cry. He had grown so good at hiding his emotions.

“Why don’t you have seat Hotch.” Gideon voiced what they had all been thinking. Watching Hotch stand like a statue, staring at the double doors was making everyone uneasy.

“I’m fine.” Came the automatic reply.

Before they could even begin an argument, a woman in a white coat came through the doors. Hotch did what he did best; he profiled her. He knew what she was going to say before the words left her mouth. He postures was straight and relieved which led Hotch to assume Spencer was okay. He also had faint indents in her wrist that came from wearing gloves though long surgeries or procedures. He deduced that Spencer had been operated on to remove the bullet most likely and was in recovery. He only hoped he was right.

Before she could even ask for the family of Spencer Reid, Hotch had already asked, “Can we see him.”

“Are you the family of Spencer Reid?” She asked, pulling out her clip board.

“Yes. Can we see him?” Aaron said.

“Reid had lost a lot of blood when he arrived, and we had to bring him into surgery to-” She started but was interrupted.

“Yes, to remove the bullet. Can we see him?” The chief was growing impatient.

“Aaron, we need to listen to what she says first.” Gideon said, always the voice of reason.

“The surgery was successful. He is in a recovery room but, being so young and healthy, he will bounce back quickly.” She said. “He is awake and has been asking for someone named Hotch. Is that any of you?”

“Me.” Hotch said immediately.

“Right. We can only allow one guest at a time but if you follow me you can visit him until our visiting hours end in one hour.”

Hotch nodded and followed close behind as they walked through the hospital. “He’s a strong kid. Is he your son?” The doctor asked.

“What? No.” Hotch replied quickly. He was reminded yet again how large the age difference was and how much of a creep he probably was for being so in love with an 18 year old.

“I see. You just seem to care about him a lot is all.” She replied.

“I do.” Was all the profiler said.

After what felt like forever, they made it to a door marked ‘Reid, Spencer.’

“He is still very weak so be careful-” She couldn’t finish her warning because Hotch was already through the door and in the chair beside his agent.

On first inspection, Spencer might had been asleep. His eyes were closed, and his chest rose up and down slowly. He had several bandages around his torso. His left foot was in a cast and his head was wrapped as well. His cuts and bruises on his face had been treated but they were still present, and some would likely scar.

Sensing someone’s presence, Reid’s eyes fluttered open. He looked to his right and saw Hotch in the hard metal hospital chair and let a small smile come to his face. “You found me.”

Hotch didn’t know if he meant they had found where Hankel had taken him or that he had managed to find the hospital room, but he didn’t care. He had found Spencer. And that’s what mattered. “Yes. And I’m so sorry about everything I said. I didn’t mean it.” Hotch said. He hadn’t been able to get the words he had spoken during their fight out of his head. He still wanted to kick himself for being so mean.

“Y-you didn’t m-mean it?” Spencer asked, eyes beginning to fill with tears. That had not been what Hotch had expected. They weren’t even happy tears. He looked positively distraught.

“Of course, not Spence! I’m so sorry.” Hotch said. He reached out to take the teen’s small hand, but Spencer pulled it back.

“Maybe y-you should go. C-can you send M-Morgan in?” He asked, attempting to wipe his tears away with an arm that was in a splint.

Hotch went over his words in his head. What had he said that made Spencer upset? He had just apologized for the fight. He said he was sorry. Said he didn’t mean it…

Shit.

“Spencer, I didn’t mean what I said in the fight! Did you think I was talking about when I told you I loved you?” He asked.

“oh…” Spencer replied, clearly realizing the mistake he had made. “Yeah. I-I did.”

“No no no darling. I would never say something like that and not mean it. I still think it is inappropriate considering your age and that I am your boss but that doesn’t make the words any less true.” He reassured.

Spencer let out a small giggle.

“What’s so funny?” The older man asked skeptically.

“You called me darling.” Spencer smiled shyly.

This made Hotch laugh a bit as well. “I bet that sounds a bit odd coming from your boss huh?”

“Agent Hotchner is my boss. Aaron is my…Aaron called me darling. They are different.” Spencer replied.

“And which do you like better?”

“That entirely depends.” Spencer replied with a shrug.

“Depends on what?”

“His reaction to this.” Spencer wasn’t entirely sure whether he was referring to Hotch or Aaron, but he didn’t care. In a bold action for the teen, he reached forward and wrapped his hand around Hotch’s tie. He tugged him forward, making him lean over so they were inches apart.

“It this o-okay?” Spencer asked, suddenly getting self-conscious.

Hotch’s first though was that he would regret kissing the young agent despite how badly he wanted too. His next thought was that, as much as he wanted to follow his moral protocol, he would regret not kissing Spencer even more.

“It’s more than okay.” He said eventually, and leaned in, closing the rest of the space between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays everyone!! Thanks for reading!! LMK what you think!!
> 
> If anyone wants to chat or rp DM me on insta @__.lams.__


	34. Chapter 34

“You sure you’re alright?” Hotch asked, hovering over Spencer as he slowly eased himself out of the SUV. They were just arriving back at Aaron’s house after the Hankel situation. They had stayed in Georgia for about a week while Reid recovered, and the teen was glad to be home and out of the stuffy hospital.

“I’m fine Hotch.” Spencer said but proved himself wrong when he tripped over his foot that was in a medical book and nearly stumbled to the ground. Luckily the older man was there to stop him from falling on his face.

“Sure.” Hotch smiled, wrapping an arm around Spencer’s waist and helping him up the driveway towards the house. They were immediately greeted by the sound of barking and Spencer smiled. He had missed Walt. Garcia had been taking care of him while they were gone, and he had missed the dog more than he would like to admit.

“Walter!” Spencer laughed as the dog jumped up on him the second the door was pulled open.

“Down.” Aaron commanded in his unit chief voice and the dog surprisingly listened. “We need to teach him not to jump on people. What if he hurts someone?” Hotch said despite the fact that Spencer clearly was not listening. He was sitting on the wood floor with the dog jumping around him and licking his face.

Hotch just shook his head affectionately and took his and Spencer’s go bags to their rooms. Spencer took out that moment to pull out his phone and see if he had received another text from Ryan, the guy he had met on his birthday. They had been texting back and forth for the past week. Not romantically, just talking. One thing that Spencer had learned about the other teen though was that working at the escape room was just his side hustle. He apparently worked with his brother dealing drugs.

As an FBI agent, Spencer’s first instinct was to block his number and report him. He decided to gather more information and had asked what kind of drugs. There were a lot that Spencer knew could land the boy in jail and he was about to tell Hotch when something on the list of drugs had caught his eye.

Dilaudid.

That had been what Tobias had given to him. Spencer realized in that moment just how badly he needed the drug. He had been feeling sick but didn’t know what it was from. Now he did. He needed dilaudid. Not too much. Just a bit. He could stop when he wanted. But he just needed some and soon.

So, he had texted Ryan before their flight to Virginia had taken off and he had just replied.

“What are you thinking for dinner?” Hotch asked, coming back into the room.

Spencer quickly locked his phone and shoved it in his pocket. “I d-don’t know. Whatever you want.”

Aaron was looking though the fridge with a frown. “I’ll have to stop at the store. We don’t have any groceries. Are you alright by yourself for an hour? I could call Morgan?” He asked.

“I’m not a child Aaron. I don’t need a babysitter.”

Hotch let out a small chuckle. “I know I know.” He smiled, grabbing his keys. “I’ll be back soon.” He then walked over to Spencer who was still on the floor with Walt curled in his lap despite the dog being way too big for that. He bent down and placed a soft kiss on the teen’s lips. “I’ll be back soon.” He said after pulling away.

“Alright.” Spencer smiled back. He Hotch had exchanged several soft kisses since that first one at the hospital. Aaron appeared that he had stopped fighting his feelings to some extent and had let himself be a bit more touchy with the other agent whether it was wrapping and arm around him or even holding his hand. They had yet to have the big conversation on what they were yet but neither seemed to mind. They didn’t feel the need to put a label on themselves just yet.

The second he heard the door close, Spencer pulled out his phone and texted Ryan to come over as soon as possible. And to bring the dilaudid.

\--

“Dinner’s ready!” Hotch called out to Spencer after he scooped their chicken onto plates. The teen had disappeared off too his room as soon as Aaron got back from the store and had yet to emerge. Hotch had wondered what he was doing in there be decided it was best to give him some privacy. He had been surrounded by doctors and nurses and the team for a week and likely needed a rest.

He put the food out on the table, waiting for the boy to join him but he didn’t. “Spencer?” he called again.

“I’m coming.” The teen replied, a bit of an edge to his voice. He walked into the room and stumbled to his spot at the table. Hotch noticed his hair was askew and his eyes seemed a bit glazed, but he just assumed the teen had been taking a nap and had just woken up. That made sense, right?

Both began eating. Spencer was normally very talkative and was always the first to start the conversation about some new book he was reading or a science fact he had learned but tonight he said nothing, just stared at his plate.

Hotch cleared his throat and decided to speak first. “Are you glad to be home?” he asked casually.

“You mean am I glad not to be surrounded by strangers or in a barn being tortured by an unsub? Yeah. Yeah I am.” He snapped, cutting his foot aggressively.

Hotch’s eyebrows shot up un surprise. He had never heard that tone from Spencer, even when they had argued in the past. What had brought this mood on now?

“What did you do while I was gone?” Hotch decide to change the subject. He had assumed he had read or watched tv for a bit and wanted to spark a conversation about something Spencer liked.

“Why do you care? First you think I need a babysitter and now you want to keep track of everything I do?!” Spencer snapped again.

“Spencer!?” Hotch said, not quite believing the way the night was going, Why was his sweet little Reid acting like this? He was never so aggressive and rude for no reason.

“I’m not hungry. I’m going to my room.” He said, standing and stomping away, locking his door with a click.

Hotch set his fork down, a bit stunned. What had just happened? And more importantly, what caused it to happen. He supposed he could still be afraid and confused about the Hankel incident. Hotch hadn’t expected everything to go back to normal after the teen was kidnapped but he hadn’t expected whatever that was to happen either.

Hotch let out a sigh and looked over at Walt who was staring at the chicken on the table with puppy dog eyes that could rival Spencer’s. “Quit begging.” Hotch muttered to him though he knew it would do nothing. Maybe it was best to just give Reid some space right now. He would some to Hotch eventually if he needed help. He was sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! Things are going to get a lot worse before they get better...


	35. Chapter 35

When Spencer woke up the next morning, he felt like he had been hit by a truck. His head was pounding, and everything was too bright. Where the light on anyway? What time was it?

“Spencer?” Came the deep voice of Aaron in is doorway. “I just wanted to see if you were going to come to work today? I personally think you should take another week off after Hankel, but you seemed to want to go in yesterday so…”

Work. Right. Spencer had a job. He needed to get ahold of himself. “W-what time is it?” He groaned.

“Nearly 7. I thought you were awake already so I didn’t come in sooner.” He replied.

“Alright. Just give me a minute.” The teen said as he sat up in his bed. He waited for the door to close before he stretched out his arm in front of him to assess the damage. Shit. He only remembered shooting up one but there were three red dots on his arm that told him he had done it more than he had thought. Last night was a blur. But it felt good. Well, it felt like nothing. And feeling nothing was better than feeling pain.

He got out of bed and pulled on a long sleeve dress shirt despite it being a hot Virginia day. He didn’t bother trying to comb his hair like he usually did. He also grabbed a pair of dark sun glasses and placed them over his face to block the offending glow of the lights above him.

He walked into the kitchen to find a thermos of coffee and something wrapped in tin foil waiting on the counter.

“It’s an egg sandwich. The doctors at the hospital said you are underweighting for your age.” Hotch said, popping his head in. “We need to get going or we will be late though.”

Spencer nodded and grabbed the two items despite the fact that the thought of eating anything at the moment made him feel like he was going to throw up.

The got to the car and drove for the first several minutes in silence. “Are you sure you are feeling alright.” Hotch asked when the teen didn’t begin to ramble about science and math.

“I’m great.” Spencer replied. Truthfully, he was feeling even worse than he had when he had woken up. Now, on top of the hang over from the dilaudid, he was getting his cravings again. He promised himself that he would not take the drug during work but that hadn’t stopped him from bringing the small glass vial in his satchel.

“Are you sure? You seemed a bit upset last night.” Aaron asked further.

Has he been upset? Spencer honestly didn’t know the answer to that question. Hopefully he hadn’t said anything too bad to the older man.

“I’m just s-still adjusting after everything.” Spencer said, deciding to blame it on the effect of the kidnapping rather than admitting he was taking drugs.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Hotch offered.

Spencer didn’t know the answer to that. He had tried to push the memories from those awful nights Georgia out of his mind. It wasn’t the best coping mechanism, and he knew everything would come pouring out eventually, but it was working for now. And that was what mattered.

“I’m alright.” Spencer replied though it was probably the furthest thing from the truth.

They eventually pulled into a spot in the parking lot and Hotch turned off the car. Instead of getting out he turned to Spencer. “I know we haven’t really talked much about what we are” he started. “but we need to keep things professional at work.”

Spencer nodded in agreement. They didn’t need any trouble right now. “Yeah. That makes sense.”

“We can be whatever we are when we are not working but I’ll have to treat you like the rest of the team.”

“W-what are we?” Spencer asked the question that had been plaguing both of their minds for the last few weeks.

“What do you want to be?” Hotch asked. He had promised that they would take everything at Spencer’s pace and he had meant that.

“I-I’d like t-to be b-boyfriends?” Spencer said, suddenly getting nervous as a blush found its way to his face. “If that’s okay with you?”

  
Hotch smiled softly and leaned across the car’s center consul to connect his lips to Spencer’s.

“I would love that.” He said between kisses. “And I love you”

“I love you too.” Spencer smiled happily.

\--

“Alright we have a new case, and it is a weird one. There have been three killings in Seattle all different victimology. All were suffocated but in different ways.” JJ began as she dispolayed the pictures on the board.

Spencer couldn’t pay attention. He had an itch under his skin that was distracting him. He bounced his leg up and down as he tried to escape the craving for dilaudid that was flowing through his blood. He needed it. But he couldn’t have it now. Not at work.

“Wheels up in 30.”

Spencer snapped back to attention at the words of the unit chief. 30 minutes, That was enough time for a small dose to wear off right? If he measured the correct about and calculated it for his weight and circulation speed, he could have the drug out of his system in 30 minutes if he took it now.

He grabbed his bad and quickly made his way to the bathroom. He made sure to lock the door before pulling out the precious vile of liquid and the syringe. He just needed to fill it to the first line and it would be out in 30. Well…maybe it was fine if he did the second line. Or the third.

Before Spencer could stop himself, he had injected the full dose of dilaudid into his arm. It was the same amount he had done last night but now he was at work. He couldn’t disappear to his room.

This was not going to end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMK what y'all think!!❤️


	36. Chapter 36

Spencer had never been snorkeling before.

He didn’t really want to go snorkeling.

He didn’t think he would be good at snorkeling.

There were too many unknown variable, sharks, stingrays, poisonous fish.

Also, he couldn’t swim.

A lot of things could go wrong if he went snorkeling.

That was how he felt currently as he boarded the BAU jet, high out of his mind. He didn’t know what he was going to say or so, but he knew it wouldn’t be good.

He walked down the aisle and decided to take the seat next to Morgan. He normally sat next to Hotch, but he didn’t want to mess up and say something too wrong that would cause his boyfriend to be suspicious.

“How’re you feeling kid?” Morgan asked, noticing the spaced-out look Spencer wore on his face.

“what? Oh. G-good. Great.” He said. He suddenly felt irritated all of a sudden. He wasn’t sure why; he just knew he was.

“Have you been getting enough sleep?” Morgan asked.

“What are you, my mother?” Spencer snapped back. It wasn’t in a teasing way either. He sounded mean. Cold. It caused the whole team to instantly snap their heads to face him.

“I’m just checking in kid-”

“I’m not a kid.” Spencer interrupted.

“You just look a bit-tired son.” Gideon tried to calm him. Unfortunately, it only made things worse.

  
“I am not you son and I am not a kid.” He replied, closing his arms stubbornly.

The rest of the team exchanged worried glances. Why was Spencer acting like this? Hotch gave them a look that said to drop it for now. He would take care of it later.

The next two hours on the jet were completely silent which was unusual considering they were usually talking and attempting to have a good time despite their line of work. Now however, no one said a word. They all attempted to look busy and more importantly; stay quiet. Spencer had fallen asleep as soon as they had left.

“Has he been sleeping.” Gideon finally asked in a whisper to Hotch who was sitting next to him.

“I’m not sure. I try to give him space while he’s in his room. I assume he’s still recovering after Hankel. And I can’t really blame him honestly.” Hotch replied, not looking up from the file in his hands.

“I think we need to keep a close eye on him. He’s still so young.”

“I know. I’ve been holding up on telling him, but a court date had been set for the trial against his foster father. James. I was telling you about him earlier.” Hotch said, still in the hushed tone. “I’m worried about him though. I don’t know how much of this he can take.”

“He’s a tough kid.” Gideon said, looking over at Spencer. “He can make it. He just needs your help.”

“Our help.” Aaron corrected. “He looks up to you as a father figure and a role model. He needs both of us to heal fully”

“Right.” Gideon said, already beginning to feel guilty for what he was planning on doing.

They were interrupted by the shrill pitch of a phone ringing, signaling to them that their technical analyst was on the phone.

Spencer let out a groan as he let his eyes slowly open, blinking in the bright light. He squinted in pain from the brightness and quickly rustling around in his satchel and pulled out a pair of sunglasses that he quickly put on his face.

“Good morning my friends. I have more information on our killer!” Came the voice of the blonde.

\---

The day had been a long one. Not only had their unsub had another victim but Spencer had been acting sour all day. The team did their best to ignore and act like nothing was wrong, but it was hard when he had repeatedly called one of the police officers and idiot and refused to work on the geographical profile saying, ‘it was in his mind already and he didn’t need to show it on paper for everyone else.’

They eventually made it back to the hotel late that night.

“Do you want to stay with me or Morgan?” Hotch asked. Spencer had always stayed with Hotch in the beginning but later roomed with the other man quite a bit. He and Hotch didn’t want their little relationship to cause issues on the case or even be accused of that.

“Could I have my own room?” Spencer asked. All he really wanted to do tonight was get high then fall asleep and be left alone. Was that so much to ask for?

“We don’t have enough rooms for that Reid. You know this.” Hotch said, handing him a room key. “Who do you want to stay with?”

“I don’t care.” Reid said. He pulled his bag tighter and turned away, leaving the two agents in the lobby.

He went up to the room he had a key for and changed into the pajamas Hotch had given to him. He sat on the bed with his phone in his hands. He had been texting back and forth with Ryan all day. Spencer liked Ryan. He gave him all sorts of tips for his hang overs and how to get the best highs. He was waiting to see if Hotch or Morgan would enter the door and was surprised when Prentiss walked through the wooden door.

“Hey Reid. Is it alright if I stay with you?” The woman asked, setting her bag on the unoccupied bed.

“Yeah.” He nodded. He had never shared a room with Prentiss before. He probably knew her the least out of everyone on the team.

She smiled at him before unpacking her bag and getting ready for bed in silence. Spencer was grateful she didn’t try to make conversation. At least for a couple minutes. After they had both gotten into their own beds and the lights had been turned out, the dark older agent spoke. “When I was your age I was involved in a rough crowd.” She said softly. “I did a lot of things I regret now.”

Spencer lay frozen. She couldn’t know…could she? And if she did would she tell Hotch? Could he be fired?

“I’ve never been kidnapped, and I can’t even imagine what that would be like, but I have been though some rough things. And I want to let you know I’m here if you want to talk.” She continued. “I know I don’t know you as well as Hotch or Morgan, but I think we have a lot in common. And I can help you if you let me.”

Spencer didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. He did however feel a single tear run down the side of his cheek as he lay in the dark, staring at the ceiling.

And he almost told Prentiss. He almost told her everything; about James, about things with Hankel the rest of the team didn’t know, about his mother, about the drugs.

But he didn’t.

He didn’t say anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to make Spencer's thoughts a bit more chaotic than usual whenever he is high so some things might be hard to follow. LMK what you think!!!


	37. Chapter 37

“What do you think Reid? Reid? Spencer?!”

Spencer snapped to attention after his name was called for the third time.

“Sorry what?” He asked, moving his dark glasses up so he could rub his eyes. He needed to stop this. He couldn’t be high around the team. He needed to be more careful. He had only been taking the dilaudid for about three weeks now and it was already affecting both his work life as well as his relationship with Aaron.

“What do you think about getting Chinese food for dinner?” Hotch repeated what he had just asked the whole team. They were on the jet getting back from the case. It had been just about as successful as a serial killer investigation could be and their spirits were higher than usual after saving the three victims before they were killed.

“Yeah. Sounds good.” He mumbled, not really caring. He didn’t care what he did as long as he was at the house by 10:00 that night to get his new delivery of the dilaudid from Ryan.

“Has anyone heard from Gideon?” Morgan asked, deciding to steer the attention away from Reid. The teen was known to get snappy when people wouldn’t leave him alone.

“No. Not since last week. It’s not like him not to show up to work.” Prentiss replied.

“I extended his leave for another week but if he doesn’t come to work after than we will have to take bigger steps.” Hotch said sadly.

No one could blame Gideon for needing to take a leave of absence after his friend was killed. But it wasn’t like him not to communicate with the team at all. Hotch was most concerned about how it could affect Spencer. Of course, he wanted the oldest agent to take all the time he needed to heal, but he had been acting like a father figure to Reid and the teen was falling apart more and more by the day. And Aaron just couldn’t fix it. It wasn’t often that Hotch couldn’t solve a problem or riddle, but he just couldn’t figure out his boyfriend. One minute he was perfectly pleasant and the shy kind teen he was, and the next he was mouthing off and falling asleep on the job. He just couldn’t explain it.

Before he knew it, they had landed and were piling up into their respective cars and heading to the restaurant. Spencer and Hotch sat in silence. It was becoming sort of a new normal that neither of them necessarily liked. Reid eventually fell asleep again and continued in that state until they arrived at the restaurant.

To everyone’s surprise, Spencer was perfectly pleasant at dinner. He joked with Morgan and laughed with Garcia and seemed to be back to his old self. Hotch smiled happily as he watched the teen struggle to use chopsticks. His face was scrunched adorably in focus as he attempted to get a singular noodle to his mouth for a solid five minutes. Hotch eventually took pity on him and asked the waiter for two forks: one for Spencer and one for himself. Hotch of course knew how to use chopsticks but he didn’t want the youngest agent to be embarrassed by being the only one with a fork. He already stood out enough for his young age and Aaron knew he hated anything that drew even more attention to that.

The happy Spencer remained present all through dinner and on the ride home. He and Aaron even engaged in a brief make out session leaving both breathless and red in the face. It was nearing 10:00 and Reid said he was going to head to bed. Hotch nodded and went to let the dog out before he retired to his own room.

The yard was dark when he opened the door for Walt to bound out happily to use the bathroom. Hotch had really gone soft for both the dog and Spencer. Once Walt had done his business, he turned to go back to the house but froze suddenly.

“What is it boy?” Hotch asked. Out of habit he brought a hand to his belt for the gun that was currently locked away in the safe in his room. Walt replied with a low growl, looking back and forth in the yard.

Hotch scanned the yard back and forth, eyes eventually coming to rest on a dark figure. The logical side of his brain told him to go inside and call for back up. The figure could be dangerous. It could have a gun. But the emotional side of his brain told him that Spencer was in the house and he would do everything he could to keep Spencer safe, even if it meant putting himself in danger.

He ran forward. The intruder gave chase, running for the fence that he had just come over, but he was nowhere near as fast as the FBI agent. Hotch caught him quickly, grabbing onto him and tackling him to the ground. He quickly grabbed his hands and pinning them to his sides.

“Who are you!” He growled out.

“R-Ryan!” It was then that Hotch noticed how young the intruder was. He was clearly in his teens, probably around Spencer’s age.

“Why are you here?”

The teen looked completely petrified with fear, not that anyone could blame him. Who wouldn’t be terrified with someone like Aaron Hotchner pinning them to the ground?

“I’m here to see Spencer! I come every Thursday” He replied.

“Spencer?”

This surprised Hotch. Spencer didn’t have any friends that were his age as far as he knew. And if he did, why didn’t he just invite him in the house? Hotch would have been more than happy to allow him in.

“Y-yes! I go in through his window.” He continued.

“Are you his friend?” Hotch asked, still trying to piece together the situation.

“Sort of. We have a… special relationship.”

Hotch didn’t want to make any assumptions. His whole career was based on levelheaded and logical thinking. But now he couldn’t help but let his heart into his mind. Haley had cheated on him when they had been married. She had had a “special friend” too. Her special friend had also snuck into the house. He didn’t want to make assumptions before he talked to Spencer, but his brain was already spinning.

“Get the hell off my property before I arrest you for trespassing.” Hotch said, standing up and roughly letting go of the teen. He scrambled to his feet and ran out of the yard, Walt following behind him as if to ensure that he would really leave.

Hotch turned to walk into the house and saw a blind and window open that had not been before. Spencer must have been watching. He must have seen it all. Hotch quickly made his way inside where he expected the teen to be but was met with nothing. He quickly checked his room and that was empty as well. It wasn’t until he heard the sound of the garage close and saw a blue Volvo pull down the street that he knew what was happening.

Spencer was gone. Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long!! I think im going to split this AU into a two part series. This one was obviously about the first few seasons and the next will be about later seasons. LMK what you think!!


	38. Chapter 28

“Where did he go man?”

“I don’t know.”

“Why would he leave?”

“I don’t know Morgan!” Hotch said, pacing back and forth through his living room. He had waited an hour for the youngest agent to return before he had called Derrek. He had assumed Spencer just needed some time to clear his head. Go for a drive. But it was nearly three in the morning and he had been gone for four hours and no one knew where he was.

“Have you called that Ryan guy?” Morgan asked again even though he knew the answer.

“No. I don’t have his number.” Hotch replied.

Their attention was shifted over to Walt who let out a shrill bark and turned to the door. Walt had been pouting in the corner both from the lack of his best friend’s presence and also because he could sense the fear on Aaron, and it stressed him out as well.

“That must be Garcia.” Morgan said, going to answer the door.

Aaron nodded and shot a look over to the small bar he had in his dining room. He wanted more than anything to pour himself a drink and calm down, but he didn’t. If…When Spencer did return, he didn’t want to be drunk and say something he would regret. Even if their romantic relationship ended, he still wanted Reid at the BAU.

“Have you heard anything?” Penelope rushed into the room in a tornado of pink. She pulled Hotch into a hug which he did not return, not that she expected him to. He was not the hugging type.

“Nothing.” Aaron said.

“I’ll start looking through security feeds for the license plate.” She said, opening up her laptop. “Now tell me what happened. Morgan said something about that boy Ryan we met at the Escape Room?”

“I don’t know for sure…but I think Spencer might have cheated on me.” Hotch sighed. He hated saying it.

“No!” The tech analyst gasped, looking up from her work. “Why do you think that?”

“I don’t want to say anything for sure until I talk to him but, after Haley, I can recognize when someone isn’t faithful. Why else would he have some guy sneak into his window at night. And he’s been acting so different lately. And he’s very secretive about that phone that you got him.” Hotch replied.

“Morgan what do you think?” Garcia asked. “You’re both profilers. Let me hear your take.”

“I think you are right about some of the things. He had been acting different and sneaky but is he really the type of person to cheat?”

Hotch opened his mouth but was cut off by the other profiler again. “And before you say you never know for sure think about it this way, has Spencer ever showed any…sexual interest?” He asked, feeling a bit uncomfortable talking about his friend’s sex life.

“Not really. I made it clear we would wait since he is so young.” Hotch said thoughtfully. “But he never seemed too motivated by sex.”

“Exactly. So, if cheating isn’t sexually motivated then it could be emotionally motivated. And we all know he has been pinning after you since the day you two met. I find it highly unlikely that he would give up on something he waited so long to get.” Morgan said.

“So what do you think it could be?” Hotch said. Though he was still very concerned about his boyfriend, he was glad that Morgan had helped him see the situation logically.

Before wither man could answer, Garcia let out a loud gasp and covered her mouth?

“What?” Hotch asked, jumping to his feet, ready to grab his gun and jump into action.

“Drugs.” She said. “I did some digging and Ryan’s older brother Tommy has been arrested for taking and dealing illegal substance twice. It says Ryan was suspected of being involved but there wasn’t enough evidence to charge him.”

“Dilaudid.” Hotch said, his heart sinking to the floor. “Hankel drugged him with dilaudid. That’s an extremely addictive substance. Why didn’t I think of that?! He must have been going through withdrawal after the case.”

“No. He wasn’t going through withdrawal.” Morgan shook his head. “He was getting the drugs from Ryan. He’s been acting so weirdly because he’s been high all the time.”

“Shit.” Aaron said, rubbing a hand over his face. It wasn’t often that he swore. But this was bad.

  
Really bad.

\---

This was bad. Really bad.

Hotch surely had found out about the drugs. Spencer had seen from the window as his boyfriend talked Ryan to the ground, clearly thinking he was an intruder. Hotch was smart. He would figure it out. And Spencer would be fired and broken up with because he was just some stupid worthless druggy.

It wasn’t like he wasn’t used to it, being left. First it was his father. He had left a letter explaining himself as if that was justification enough for leaving a child. His mother had left next though it wasn’t her fault.

He had been forced to live with James. James had been nice for a week or two, but the nice human left as well being replaced with the monster that was responsible for so much of his pain.

Now it was Gideon.

Spencer tried to hold the tears in his eyes as he read over the letter again and again.

After fleeing Hotch’s house, he had gone to the only place he thought he could. He had driven to the person who had been a mentor and father figure to him and had gotten him the job he valued so much.

But he was gone now too. He had left a letter just like his father had. It was addressed to Spencer because he said he knew that Reid would be the one to find it.

Now where could he go. He couldn’t stay here alone in the eerily empty cabin. He couldn’t go back to James for obvious reasons. He couldn’t go to Las Vegas. He only had one option.

He would have to go back to Hotch’s and face his ridicule. He knew Hotch was a good man. One of the best he had ever met. But there was no way even the best of men could handle Spencer.

No one wanted an orphaned, freak, useless, druggy.

Nobody wanted Spencer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMK what you think!!


	39. Chapter 39

Spencer woke up the next morning feeling more exhausted than he had when he had gone to bed. His eyes were still red from crying and his heart was heavy with guilt.

He had spent the night at Gideon’s cabin. He knew didn’t think to tell Hotch where he was going or where he would be staying. Aaron probably hated him anyway. Why would anyone love a druggy like Spencer?

Speaking of drugs, he needed some. Badly. The teen had an itch that started under the skin of his arm and spread through the rest of his body like a virus. He needed dilaudid. He had texted Ryan multiple times, but he had not replied. Reid suspected that Hotch must have scared him pretty bad back at the house.

If Ryan was not going to get him what he needed, he had two options. He could go find another drug dealer or he could go back to Hotch’s house and get the stash he had hidden in his bed side table. Neither option sounded particularly appealing, but he needed to pick his poison.

He let out a long sigh before standing up and getting the keys to his car. This was not going to be fun.

  
He hoped he had made the right choice.

\---

“It’s been 13 hours! I’m calling the police. I’m calling the director. I’m calling…someone!” Hotch was slowly losing more and more of his sanity by the second. This was the second time that Spencer had gone missing. The first time he had been captured by a serial killer. This time they didn’t have any leads which was almost scarier.

“I know man. We are about to go out and look for him again.” Morgan said, he was tired and worried as well but managed to hold it together better than his boss. The whole team had been taking turns going out in groups to look for Spencer. One person always stayed at the house in case he decided to come back.

“I’m not staying here this time. I need to help. I need to be doing something.” Hotch said standing up.

“I’ll stay. You can’t drive in this state. You go with Prentiss, and JJ and Garcia can go together.” Morgan replied, taking the lead.

Everyone nodded and took a last sip of their coffee before filing out the door.

Morgan paced around the house restlessly. He wasn’t the type of person who could just do nothing. Especially in a situation like this.

“Where is he Walt?” Morgan asked, talking to the dog who had been curled up sadly in the corner the whole night.

Morgan was about to continue his conversation with the dog that could obviously not reply when he heard a faint sound. It was soft and someone with untrained ears wouldn’t have noticed it, but Morgan knew his cars. He also knew the sounds of engines. Most importantly, he knew the sound of a Volvo Amazon P130 122S. He knew the sound of Reid’s car. He rushed to the door and pulled it open at the same time Reid reached to turn the doorknob as well.

“Oh! M-Morgan?” Spencer asked, seemingly startled to see his friend. He wasn’t given any time to recover because he was lifted off his feet into a hug.

“We were so worried about you Pretty Boy.” Morgan said as he held onto him tightly. He knew he sounded like a mother hen instead of the cool uncle he tried to be but he was too relieved to care.

“I w-went to see Gideon” Spencer replied. “I didn’t m-mean to worry you.” He said. He hadn’t. He hadn’t expected Hotch to even tell anyone let alone have anyone care. Maybe Hotch hadn’t told them about the drug thing. Maybe Hotch didn’t know about it at all! That hadn’t even occurred to Spencer. Maybe everything could be okay.

“Gideon?” Morgan released the teen from his hug and took a step back.

“Y-yeah. He’s-” Spencer was about to tell him that the man was gone when he was interrupted by the sound of the door opening again.

“We didn’t fine anything. Any luck here-” Hotch’s voice asked before he froze when he saw Spencer. “Spencer!” He said. Much like Morgan, he quickly rushed forward and pulled the smaller boy into his arms. Unlike Derrek though, Hotch planted a firm and passionate kiss on Spencer’s lips.

Spencer felt tears coming to his eyes. Hotch must not know about the drugs. But he would find out eventually. He would find out and he would hate Reid. He would never kiss him like this again.

Hotch pulled back when he felt the wet tears fall from Spencer’s face to his. “Spencer? Are you okay? What happened?”

“I-I’m sorry!” Spencer broke down finally. The rest of the team who had arrived all moved into the large kitchen to give the two some privacy.

“It’s going to be okay Spence. We will get through this together. Just please don’t leave like that again. I thought you had been kidnapped or something.”

“I-I’m sorry” Spencer said again.

“Shh it’s alright love. We can get through this. I’m going to help you through the whole process.” Hotch guided them over to the couch so he was now seated with Spencer sobbing into his chest.

“Process?” He looked up in confusion.

“Yes. To get you off the drugs. I just wish I could have been there sooner.” Aaron said a bit sadly.

He knew. Hotch knew he was a drug addict. So why was he still here? Why hadn’t he told Spencer to get out or told him that he was disgusting?

“You k-know?”

“Yes. But we will help you.”

“And you’re staying?”

The question made Hotch’s heart break. “I’m not leaving Spencer. I love you remember?”

“I love you too” Spencer said, breaking into another round of sobs.

They laid together on the couch, Hotch gently rubbing Spencer’s back until he calmed down. They stayed together in silence just enjoying the comfort of each other.

“Gideon left.” Spencer said softly eventually.

Hotch let out a sigh. He had suspected the oldest agent might leave. He wished he hadn’t though. This was going to affect Spencer quite a bit. “I’m sorry love.”

“I thought you might leave me too” Reid admitted. 

“Never.” Hotch pulled back to look him in the eye. “I would never leave you Spence. I love you with all my heart and I’m going to spend as long as I have to proving that to you.”

Spencer studied his face carefully, looking for any hint of deception. When he found none, he smiled softly. “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for making it though through this whole thing! Chapter one of part 2 is up now!! LMK what you think!!


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